I was responding to the comments by the author of the article, such as " they have replaced the stress of paying off debt with another sort of pressure. Debt feels different when I owe my parents instead of some faceless corporation. I notice how their hair has grayed, and they have grown old in the process of supporting me. “, " I am consumed by guilt”, " I am driven to work by the knowledge … that if I failed to earn scholarships it would be the financial equivalent of burning down my parents’ home."
I would never, ever, ever want my children to feel anything like that. Ever. That is not “gratitude”. That is just guilt and pressure. And look at that in context of the comments the author also makes about depression and suicide among her peers. I agree with post 10 by mwolf. Maybe the difference is that this child seems to know exactly what her parents “sacrificed” for her. My children do not know the detail of what we have foregone (willingly, so I do not label it a ‘sacrifice’) to ensure that their 529s are full, and they don’t need to. D19 sees her friends struggling with their college choices constrained by finances; she knows she is fortunate, she’s grateful for it, and that’s good enough for me. She will, I hope, never write an article anywhere about the guilt she feels for what her parents did for her.