<p>Are you comfortable?</p>
<p>I am supremely comfortable.</p>
<p>Am I?</p>
<p>No. You’re probably wearing skinny Diesel jeans.</p>
<p>Should I change?</p>
<p>You should’ve said Should I slip into something more comfortable?, but you didn’t.</p>
<p>But my answer is the same. Yes.</p>
<p>Wouldn’t slipping imply falling?</p>
<p>Is falling undesirable?</p>
<p>Are your stories riveting?</p>
<p>Will you please tell me another?</p>
<p>Wouldn’t slipping imply falling?</p>
<p>Nooo.</p>
<p>Is falling undesirable?</p>
<p>Yes, it really is.</p>
<p>Are your stories riveting?</p>
<p>I do what I can.</p>
<p>Will you please tell me another?</p>
<p>YES.</p>
<p>Last night, I was just itching to watch the rest of LOST. So at 10:00 PMish, I called Blockbuster. A mouth-breathing kid named “Kurt” answers the phone, and I’m like “Hello, may I ask you about DVD availability over the phone? Is that okay?” </p>
<p>Kurt: “What?”</p>
<p>Me: “DVD availability, like as in…if a movie I want is in stock?”</p>
<p>Kurt: “Oh yeah, I can do that for you. What movie?”</p>
<p>Me: “Well, I lied, haha, it’s not a movie, it’s–”</p>
<p>Kurt: “What did you lie about?”</p>
<p>Me: “Oh, I was just kidding, but I sort of did lie, but not exactly…ANYWAY…I’m wondering if you have disks 5 and 6 of season 3 of LOST in stock?”</p>
<p>Kurt: “Yeah! I’ll check! <em>puts down phone and runs away</em>”</p>
<p>Kurt: “Yep, we have it.” </p>
<p>Me: “Okay, thanks!”</p>
<p>Kurt: “Cool, we’re open until midnight.”</p>
<p>Me: “Kay” <em>hang up</em></p>
<p>So I go down there after the odd conversation, and I walk in and there’s no one there, but there’s a blonde Trekkie looking kid stocking movies. The shelves are alphabetical, so I went to “L” and it wasn’t there…and I’m like…Whaaat is this?</p>
<p>So finally I go up to him, and I’m like “Hello! I called about LOS–” </p>
<p>Kurt: “OH! RIGHT! Up front!!!”</p>
<p>And he RUNS away to the front counter really quickly. Like, a nerd-run. With his hands at his sides, and hunched over.</p>
<p>I just gave him a weird look and finally left with my movies.</p>
<p>Sorry that was lame and random, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Be more specific next time (:.</p>
<p>Did I enjoy that?</p>
<p>Thoroughly?</p>
<p>What epi are you on?</p>
<p>Did I enjoy that?</p>
<p>I’d like to think so.</p>
<p>Thoroughly?</p>
<p>Mmhmm. (:</p>
<p>What epi are you on?</p>
<p>Ummm…okay, I just have the two-part finale left. I totally could’ve beat you. Completely. But I waited.</p>
<p>Does that totally make you feel like “the man”?</p>
<p>Am I totally the man anyway?</p>
<p>Despite the fact that you did beat me?</p>
<p>Was Jacob so disappointing?</p>
<p>Did you hope with all of your heart that Locke died, after watching episode 20?</p>
<p>Do I still have episode 21 and the season finale to watch?</p>
<p>Is it thrilling?</p>
<p>Would you like to hear about what I finally get?</p>
<p>Am I totally the man anyway?</p>
<p>Maybe. It’s much too early to determine something of such importance.</p>
<p>Despite the fact that you did beat me?</p>
<p>Mmm. All thanks to Kurt.</p>
<p>Was Jacob so disappointing?</p>
<p>YES. But it reminded me of the scary spirit in the creepy cabinet at the top of the spiral staircase in “The Sixth Sense.” That part is so scary.</p>
<p>Did you hope with all of your heart that Locke died, after watching episode 20?</p>
<p>YES.</p>
<p>Do I still have episode 21 and the season finale to watch?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>Is it thrilling?</p>
<p>Not as much as episode 20. But the finale should be amazing. It’s too bad we can’t watch it together. Although, I interact with the characters to the best of my ability, and a lot of people find that annoying.</p>
<p>Would you like to hear about what I finally get?</p>
<p>YES.</p>
<p>Was I reading something?</p>
<p>Did the thing I was reading mention UBC?</p>
<p>Did that remind me of you?</p>
<p>Did that remind me of your friend who went to Costa Rica?</p>
<p>Did that remind me of you looking forward to him returning next week?</p>
<p>Did that remind me of you mentioning looking forward to January 10th?</p>
<p>Did I tie those two together?</p>
<p>Was I reading something?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>Did the thing I was reading mention UBC?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>Did that remind me of you?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>Did that remind me of your friend who went to Costa Rica?</p>
<p>Baha. Not Costa Rica, darling. I didn’t say where he was on exchange, I just said South America.</p>
<p>Did that remind me of you looking forward to him returning next week?</p>
<p>YES.</p>
<p>Did that remind me of you mentioning looking forward to January 10th?</p>
<p>Yes!</p>
<p>Did I tie those two together?</p>
<p>Mmhmmmmm. I’m so excited. Ohhh so excited.</p>
<p>Do you prefer to be called Miss or Ms.?</p>
<p>Did you see Pan’s Labyrinth?</p>
<p>Was it good?</p>
<p>Did I misspell “labyrinth”?</p>
<p>I totally need to buy Pan’s Labyrinth.</p>
<p>Are you crying?</p>
<p>If you are, will instinct force me to fling my arms around you?</p>
<p>Do I put on lip balm when no one is looking to keep my lips from getting chapped?</p>
<p>Why would you be crying?</p>
<p>Has Yak ever been arrested for assaulting a random crying woman?</p>
<p>Did that make you laugh?</p>
<p>Are you so totally off watching Lost?</p>
<p>Should I watch episode 21?</p>
<p>Do you prefer to be called Miss or Ms.?</p>
<p>Miss (:</p>
<p>Did you see Pan’s Labyrinth?</p>
<p>The Spanish fantasy one? No.</p>
<p>Was it good?</p>
<p>No idea.</p>
<p>Did I misspell “labyrinth”?</p>
<p>Nope (:</p>
<p>Are you crying?</p>
<p>Nope!</p>
<p>If you are, will instinct force me to fling my arms around you?</p>
<p>Eh, even with a lack of tears, I predict you may have the same reaction to me.</p>
<p>Do I put on lip balm when no one is looking to keep my lips from getting chapped?</p>
<p>Oh yes.</p>
<p>Why would you be crying?</p>
<p>Because my cousin makes fun of me and calls me sexist names.</p>
<p>Has Yak ever been arrested for assaulting a random crying woman?</p>
<p>Nah.</p>
<p>Did that make you laugh?</p>
<p>Haha, it did after you asked me if it did. So technically, it did not.</p>
<p>Are you so totally off watching Lost?</p>
<p>Noooope. I wish.</p>
<p>Should I watch episode 21?</p>
<p>YES.</p>
<p>Are you going to call your cousin Ken?</p>
<p>Do I usually make you laugh?</p>
<p>Are you a laugher?</p>
<p>Are you going to call your cousin Ken?</p>
<p>Uh NO. He isn’t worthy. Plus I don’t like the association.</p>
<p>Do I usually make you laugh?</p>
<p>Mmhmm (:</p>
<p>Are you a laugher?</p>
<p>YES.</p>
<p>Should I call the school and beg for another two weeks?</p>