I’m upset too that someone thought they could just pay her off.
If you were talking about her accepting the payment, I’d like to know more about the exact situation. It’s possible she was coerced into it.
@TatinG -Although I agree with you, things like that are often easier said than done.
Really? You’d criticize women when the odds have been VERY low that they would be believed, and very high that they would lose their livelihood? I admire women who are willing to speak out, but completely understand their reluctance to do so. The way they dress, their past sexual lives, their job performance, etc are all very likely to be attacked.
Yes, I do! I don’t criticize those who are now accusing Roy Moore. They were adolescents at the time. But grown adult women need to act like adults and go to the police when a sexual attack occurs.
I understand why the women who were harassed/assaulted may not want to come forward. I don’t understand the media knowing that a Congressman was such a problem that they couldn’t get on an elevator with him and not following up on that story. I do hold the press to a different standard.
What do you expect that the media will report, if, as you acknowledge, the women who were harassed or assaulted are not willing to come forward? The media should not report unsubstantiated gossip. “Don’t get in the elevator with him; he grabs women” is unsubstantiated gossip. If I were a reporter, I wouldn’t get in the elevator, but I also wouldn’t have a story without a lot of work, and if the women weren’t willing to come forward I wouldn’t have a story at all.
@“Cardinal Fang” I’d like to know the media tried. All of these claims both in Hollywood and DC of “open secrets” just frustrate me. Did anyone try to substantiate the gossip? I’d like to believe that some people stand up for what is right. Call me naive.
Did you listen to the interview with Jodi Kantor? The media had been trying for decades to get the story!
I did listen to it. The previous stories were killed. Who killed them?
I’m thrilled that people feel free to step up now. But as in public cases of abuse in the past, I’m just frustrated that there are so many people who now say, “yes, we all knew that was going on”.
I share your frustration about “open secrets.” However, not everyone is in a position to risk their financial future and their family’s safety to make a report when they have reason to expect they won’t be believed.
Years ago my dad was terminated from his job, while on vacation, for being the first (and only) to speak up about the president of his company’s ongoing harassment of young women which was also an open secret. It wasn’t the first time he put his integrity ahead of financial concerns, and it had a huge negative impact on his retirement. At least he had a military pension so he and my mother were not at risk of going hungry. Others may not want to risk foreclosure or bankruptcy.
No, I am talking about her accepting the payoff… a move which, IMO, is just as bad, if not worse, than the guy offering to pay her off. It doesn’t surprise me when these guys offer to pay off their victims because they are already flagged as sleazeballs in my head, so my expectations for them are low to begin with.
Sometimes accepting the payoff is the only way to get something out of the encounter. The alternative may be to refuse the payoff, take the company or the individual to court, and lose. No money, no job, and a ruined reputation. Other than those few downsides, it can turn out great.
So basically, who cares about any other women who might get harassed or assaulted by this guy… as long as he gives me money, I’m good!
Yeah, no… not good enough. Sorry.
Gosh @fractalmstr it sounds like you think women should be prosecuted for not coming forward in cases of rape, sexual harassment, abuse…?
That’s already been suggested by one of Roy Moore’s defenders:
@fractalmstr, we’re talking about women who believe,** correctly**, that if they attempt to blow the whistle on an abuser the abuser will emerge unscathed and they will suffer bad consequences. In that situation, why not take the money? There is no better outcome for you, and you can’t help other women.
@OHMomof2 That’s not at all what I said. Not even close in fact.
@“Cardinal Fang” I disagree entirely with the attitude that women should just take the money and let the guy off the hook so he can harass other women. It’s irresponsible. Someone has to be first to report these issues and break the silence, so who gets to be that person? Why should it be someone else, and not you?
Money also compounds the problem of people being skeptical of women coming forward with allegations. It makes people question whether these victims have ulterior motives… money just shouldn’t be factor, IMO.
The have been athletes, entertainment people and politicians accused of sex crimes whose victims are not believed while the accused continue to win trophies, awards and elections. And I would guess that some of the people criticizing women who didn’t come forward support at least some of those accused men by watching their games and movies and voting for them.
If the abusers are sleazeballs and the women who accept pay out are worse (while recovering death threats and legal threats as they deal with trauma), then I guess we have to sink even lower in describing those in the public still supporting the abusers.
Wow… somehow this is becoming the fault of the women. That feels so familiar. If only she had . Listen to yourselves. 
This was quite an eye opener. The police are (historically) so badly trained that they believe most women are lying about sexual assault claims, and they end up charging them for making a false accusation. Later, evidence appears that proves the women were not lying. So, how should we judge those women? Did they “give in” to the police? Why didn’t they go to the mat with a flaming sword of justice clutched in their hands? Why didn’t they insist, until the end, that they were right?
I don’t know but I imagine it has everything to do with being hurt, and then being hurt again by the legal process that came afterwards.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/24/opinion/sunday/sexual-assault-victims-lying.html
So I wouldn’t be so quick to judge people for taking money. And 100% of the time, people are required to sign some kind of legal gag order in order to get that money. Where else can they go for justice? I don’t like the idea of money being justice either but these workplace sexual harassers are not going to jail in any scenario. The only justice has been a payout.
Now that is changing, and I am very glad about this and the emphasis on transparency.
All this hush hush reminds me of the Catholic Church pedophile scandals. Children were abused but adults had to sign the settlement agreements and some of the children settled as adults. Meanwhile the offenders were sent away to ‘treatment’ and then put in other parishes where they continued to abuse children. Gag orders should be ruled as against public policy.
OH pleez. I already wrote how , in my first year grad school, I DId file against prof who I did my research with. I had more than 20 witnesses to our running groups, and my data, but he protested. I had to redo a year of work, albeit with a female prof who became the head of. The dept. and when I applied to future schools, 3 people who come to my major meeting had all shifted to another U, to which I applied and graduated from. As a young person, I didn’t believe in karma, but I do now. Everyone in my committee knew that this man had multiple complaints against him, but they did nothing. Not one person spoke up on my behalf.