The religion in which I grew up used to teach that taking one’s own life was a mortal sin, full stop. There could be no requiem Mass or hope for the soul of the departed. That stance has changed and more compassion is shown now. However, whether or not some teachings are official there are still many, including clergy, nuns and lay teachers, who continue to promulgate old ways of thinking. That complicates the question of one’s right to die for some.
The other teaching that makes this issue complex from a faith POV, at least for practicing Catholics, is that suffering brings one closer to God. If we suffer, for any reason, and “offer it up” (I can’t count how many times nuns told me that), we reduce our time in Purgatory and gain Heaven sooner. Again, this isn’t official but it’s still been taught in Catholic schools and religious education classes.
For quite a few years, I prayed that my father would die because I loved him dearly and hated that he was suffering. Even if offering up suffering made sense to me, he was not capable of doing that thanks to Alzheimer’s. If I could have hastened his death I would have done so, out of compassion and love.
H and I have had multiple conversations about how we do and do not want to die. In case there are no other options available when the time comes, I have taken steps including stockpiling Rx pain meds. Seeing three of our four parents suffer with various types of dementia causes us some concern for our own prospects. I don’t want to wait until a doctor decides I have only six months to live due to some other medical condition, especially after witnessing my father’s years of suffering. I don’t want to put my loved ones through that, and I see no redeeming value in it for myself. H feels the same way. Neither of us is in any hurry. I just hope we can arrange things so that the surviving spouse is not placed under any suspicion.