Attending event without 2014 student

Parents Forum
#21

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<p>At an event like that even the jerks won't be jerks. Nearly all adults can keep up a pleasant, polite manner for a fun social event like a picnic. </p>

<p>In my experience Harvard parents are for the most part a bunch of middle-class regular folks who will glad to make your acquaintance. And one thing you won't have to worry about is dropping the H-bomb. At this event <em>everybody's</em> kid got into Harvard, so there is no need to worry about someone making negative assumptions about you or over-reacting when they find out yours did.</p>

#22

<p>Fauxmaven, I am a little confused as to why you think most of the people there would be H alumni themselves? These are <em>parents</em> of incoming students - I would expect that the vast majority would not be H alums at all.</p>

<p>You say you are lucky to have married into your husband's family -- I think they are lucky to have found <em>you</em>. You seem like a very sweet woman. Go and enjoy the picnic and enjoy meeting some new people. There is simply no need to be intimidated!</p>

#23

<p>I guess that I am under the impression that many Harvard students these days are legacies, perhaps 20 %? I know many are not.I guess whenever we go to a social event(not that often) I hear a lot of Ivies mentioned .I suppose it will be gratifying to meet regular folks who are sending their kids to Harvard.About the Harvard "bomb "- I never bring up where daughter is going,unless they ask.I guess Harvard trumps many people,because they never mention where their child is going. I am very proud she got in ,and hope it will be worth it as she could have gone free at a couple of fine schools, and we are not getting any aid for her to go . '</p>

#24

<p>Even if some of the other parents are Harvard alumni, so WHAT? </p>

<p>Harvard alumni are just like regular people. They put their pants legs on one at a time. Every word out of their mouths is not some new insight into the meaning of life or the cure for cancer; they are going to chat about the weather and your local sports teams and how they'll be missing their children and the difficulty of getting everyone packed and boy, that potato salad sure looks good. That's all. Maybe some of them will be people who are wildly successful; chances are most of them will be ordinary people doing ordinary things, and that's just fine too. Either way, the purpose is to have some of the incoming students meet and mingle, and the parents are invited because that's the courteous thing to do and some will enjoy meeting one another. That's all. I don't know what your husband has given you the impression of, but in the final analysis, Harvard is a college, not the Almighty Holy Grail. Do you think that parents who are Harvard alumni won't deign to speak with you because you're not? Because that's not the case at all.</p>

#25

<p>We attended a welcome event (different college) without our S when a work conflict arose. It was nice to meet with local alumni, current students and new student families. We felt very welcome and learned some new things about the school, dorm setups, travel logistics and some great restaurant recommendations for the college town. Go, don't be intimidated and have a great time.</p>

#26

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<p>Not in my experience. I don't have overall stats, but in the 4 years my daughter went there I met only one legacy among her many friends and roommates. And that girl certainly merited her place at Harvard in her own right. One time I asked my daughter who among her blockmates was the smartest, and without having to ponder it more than a tenth of a second she immediately named the legacy girl - by far she said.</p>

#27

<p>Probably most of the students will be talking with each other, while parents will be talking to each other as well. </p>

<p>At our daughter's move-in day, they separated parents and students at one point and had sessions just for parents. It was informative. None of us in our family had ever set foot on campus before, let alone be alums. It was interesting to meet some other parents who were in the same boat we were.</p>

<p>I'd say go if you want, don't if it's not your cup of tea. You are an invited guest.</p>

#28

<p>Wait a minute, your kid is a legacy kid, so YOU may be seen as others as part of the hoi polloi! LOL...</p>

<p>My recollection is that admitted students are able to access a class list online that shows the hometown and schools attended by the incoming freshman class. That's where I would check for names of local students that your D can get to know for car pool purposes.</p>

<p>Also agree that Harvard is one of those schools where most kids don't bring their cars to school. Don't need one.</p>

#29

<p>Fauxmaven, I'm guessing that this event will be the first of many eye-opening experiences you'll have that will astound you at how little today's Harvard resembles the haughty, elitist stereotype that most of us once envisioned. I doubt that you'll find anyone overtly pretentious. The other parents will far more resemble middle-class America than the tweed jacket-wearing, pipe-smoking person with an affected accent who you may have imagined. The kids will run the full range of the socioeconomic scale, be a blend of public and private school grads with the publics in the majority, and constitute a smorgasbord of the country's and the world's racial, ethnic and cultural diversity. And they'll be interesting young people - a little awkward at first, brilliant no doubt, but above all interesting and stimulating. After four years and two kids at Harvard, the only adjective I can apply to all the (many) interactions I've had as a parent would be "welcoming."</p>

#30

<p>Gadad-Thank you for all the encouragement! I promise to report back on how the picnic went.and my assessment of the diversity and variety of families who attend.</p>

#31

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Wait a minute, your kid is a legacy kid, so YOU may be seen as others as part of the hoi polloi!

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<p>Note: I meant the OPPOSITE of hoi polloi--high and mighty. Thanks to the poster who sent me a private message to let me know of my mistake. (Thanks, Honey...)</p>

#32

<p>Dear ellmenope-the irony that should be shared with everyone here is that my daughter attended a swanky prep school, and I am married to a Harvard alum! If you met us ,we look very average,and don't have the glossy veneer of most prep school parents .No Lexus BMW,flashy clothing ,gaudy diamonds...the usual trappings of Prep School Parents .I guess I am expecting the same thing here .We both believe in getting an excellent education, and have sacrificed alot of other things to pay for this prep school ,as well as private school for our other kids .I did meet some wonderful people, who were not super wealthy along the way.MyD's best friend has been in 2 private schools with her since first grade!</p>

#33

<p>Well, I had a great time at the picnic!Around 35 incoming freshmen showed up,and they immediately took over a couple of tables off in the back.The H Club officers attempted to converse with all the families as they came in and I talked to many friendly parents.It wasn't the snooty crowd I expected. I had alot of fun, and we joined our local chapter.</p>

#34

<p>Glad you had a nice time!</p>

#35

<p>"No Lexus BMW,flashy clothing ,gaudy diamonds...the usual trappings of Prep School Parents"</p>

<p>I used to teach school with a young man who drove his mom's old hand-me-down Chevy Suburban with over 200,000 miles, rusted-out fenders, and window decals from Columbia, Wellesley and Duke. It kind of made the automotive statement, "We spent all our dough on tuition."</p>

#36

<p>Sikorsky-that car was funny.....I would buy that bumper sticker! It kind of reminds me of those bumper stickers "My other car is a BMW "</p>

#37

<p>Fauxmaven, I'm sure you'll be able to appreciate it even more when I add that all those fancy colleges came after day-school tuition for 3 kids.</p>

#38

<p>Glad you had a great time, FM! Now you have joined the ranks of "friendly Harvard parents."</p>

#39

<p>
[quote]
If you met us ,we look very average,and don't have the glossy veneer of most prep school parents .No Lexus BMW,flashy clothing ,gaudy diamonds...the usual trappings of Prep School Parents .

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<p>Just be careful -- just as you were engaging in stereotypes of Harvard alums that turned out not to be true, be careful not to engage in stereotypes of "glossy veneers" of prep school parents. I'm quite certain not all prep school parents wear "flashy clothing and gaudy diamonds" nor drive designer cars (nor is there really anything wrong with it if they do drive nice cars -- it says nothing about them other than they liked that car).</p>

#40

<p>I can speak with some expertise when it comes to PSP.....3+ of my children attended private school .Most of the kids were okay ,but some of the parents were not .I did know a few parents who were lovely and flashy (more of these at the day school) but my D attended a non religious prep school ,because I felt she had had sufficient religious education ,although she would have stayed put if she had not gotten in .The super wealthy kids stayed to themselves.How wealthy? One girl took 10 friends to the Caribbean for her sixteenth birthday.My D got invited to most parties however,and there were plenty of parties for her to attend . I'm glad she has finished with that chapter ,and several roommates are doing Dorm Crew with her .I like that she gets paired up with other kids who want to earn some money.</p>

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