<p>I wonder if it as an older person thing, or an in law thing, or a combination of the two. My Mum is always so critical of whatever my sister in law buys her. And the gifts are always nice things. I am surprised that my SIL even buys her gifts anymore. I don’t even live in the same country but I hear so many complaints about whatever my SIL buys her that it makes me not buy her things myself. For instance my SIL bought her some lovely crystal glasses few years ago (and she really was in need of some glasses) and I was surprised at my Mum’s negative reaction. It is something I would have thought she would like and would have got her myself, so it really makes me hesitate to get anything for her. Fortunately she does like to get flowers, so I just stick to sending flowers for every major holiday, birthday etc.</p>
<p>My mom is the awkward and impossible recipient of gifts. One year I had an artist who makes cigar box shadow boxes do a custom box for her and my dad with photos and memorabilia of Coney Island where they spent a lot of when they were dating. Her response, “What am I supposed to do with this?” I eventually stole it back! She just had it shoved in a drawer. By the way she has other Brooklyn items displayed in her home.</p>
<p>Then there was the Coach wallet yeras ago, she returned it, bought a wallet she hated and then bought herself the same Coach wallet the next year. </p>
<p>The flat screen TV, always complained it was “junk”, the wine fridge from several years ago, I was informed yesterday isn’t all that great. The Disney Cruise with my family, was okay, but really there are much better cruises and the cabin could have been nicer. I was a wreck trying to put together a gift for her this year. </p>
<p>S and H on the other hand love everything they get and also chose lovely and thoughtful gifts for me. H gets special credit for surprising me with a gorgeous cocktail ring.</p>
<p>Samurailandshark --This is why I send food. Perishable food. Petit fours, brownies, cheese, etc. If they don’t like it, they can throw it out. But (unless they are <em>serious</em> hoarders) most people won’t keep food around for years. </p>
<p>The ‘perishable’ bit is important. I still have a couple bottles of wine around – I don’t drink – and some little tins of this-n-that that came in gift baskets. Note to self: year end pantry purge due. But the stuff that will rot either gets eaten up fast, passed on to someone who likes it, or tossed. </p>
<p>Just remember to keep in mind any known food allergies/intolerances – this is the first year that no one has sent us baked goods after my dh was diagnosed with Celiac 6 years ago! </p>
<p>swimcatsmom – Sounds like your Mum is transferring feelings about the SIL to the things she received from her. There’s always ‘well, if you don’t like them, I’ll take ‘em!’ I doubt her negative vibes will extend to anything you get for her. However, many people of our parents’ generation don’t need ‘things’ other than what they have…so I buy my mother pretty costume jewelry, things for traveling, and – yep, you guessed it! – food.</p>
<p>This has been an amusing read and since I don’t feel like shoveling yet…I’ll leave that to H and the boys later…I thought I’d contribute.</p>
<p>So…my birthday is in January, early enough that I’ve gotten plenty of leftover or recycled Christmas gifts from my MIL. But about 5 years ago, she outdid herself.</p>
<p>We were at her house that Thanksgiving and we, both Danielle Steele readers, started discussing her latest book. She is in one of those monthly Book clubs and had just gotten it and read it. I had it on reserve at the library but hadn’t gotten a chance to pick it up yet. She says, take it, I’m finished with it and I planned to but forgot it when we left. No big deal, I got it from the library a couple days later just as I had originally planned. </p>
<p>Guess who got the book wrapped up for her birthday??? Nice.</p>
<p>I will say she’s gotten much better since she started using our a m a z o n . c o m wishlists. Of course, she did just buy me two books that I put on my wishlist because I meant to buy them for my husband but I guess it’s the thought that counts. At least she THOUGHT I wanted them.</p>
<p>ACM - I can’t believe your MIL would complain about such thoughtful gifts. Maybe next year just give a modest gift and make a donation to a charity in MIL’s honor? She will likely still complain… but at least your money will go to good use.</p>
<p>colorado_mom, the sad thing is it’s my mom, not my MIL. My MIL loves everything we give her!</p>
<p>One year my daughter gave her former boyfriend a pair of tickets to an NHL game for Christmas. During the December before she gave him the tickets, she mentioned several times how she’d never been to a professional hockey game and how much fun she thought it would be. She gave him the tickets and he was thrilled - and he almost immediately invited his best friend to go to the game with him. The friend said, “You sure don’t want to take D?” Nah, why would he do that? When the friend had to back out due to a conflict, he asked another friend. Eventually he did end up taking D to the game, pretty much as a last resort, because everyone else knew the tickets had come from D and gave him a lame excuse that they couldn’t go with him. </p>
<p>My SIL is a shopaholic, who can’t resist a “bargain.” One year she gave S a video game that was 3 years out of date (MLB 2005 in 2008 or something like that). When he was 14 she gave him a children’s cookbook and a calculator for Christmas. </p>
<p>My selfless H is awful at accepting gifts. One year I forced him to make a Christmas list for himself. He wrote down: wine, cheese, and shoe polish.</p>
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Not surprised he is a former boyfriend!</p>
<p>So many ex’s and formers 
H had been a very bad gift giver. For my 50th he gave a gift certificate for a book store (OK good) and then 50 very old and wrinkled dollar bills fell out of the card.
My D has taken him on though the years as we have aged and now he is A-OK. That said, I noticed that she was wearing a pair of lovely gold earrings that he had given me years ago. I had given them to her as he had given me a nearly identical pair the following year.</p>
<p>Not necessarily “awkward”, but I specifically was told by my brother (who is 12 years older than me, and has a wife and a 3-year-old son) not to get them anything this year because they weren’t getting me anything and just wanted it to be fun for their son (he is the first young one in our family and was the focus of Christmas). It was fine with me, as I’m the stereotypical broke college student anyway.</p>
<p>Christmas day came, they did get me a $15 iTunes card. I was very thankful but felt bad I did not get them anything in return. Same with my sister, though we hadn’t discussed it earlier. I just didn’t even think about it. 
Maybe I’ll slip her something before I go back to school.</p>
<p>A tip: If you are an eBay seller, don’t let your friends or famiy know your eBay screen name! One SIL discovered the eBay identiy of another SIL and is silently observing her selling the gifts we’ve all given her family over the years! Now, SIL’s family is quite wealthy, so she doesn’t need the money…and I guess no one should be blamed for getting money for stuff they don’t want. But it’s hard to see the “Baby’s Frist Christmas” ornament that you thought would stay in the fmaily forever auctioned off on eBay!</p>
<p>My MIL was never good at accepting gifts or giving gifts. We would never see her using any of the gifts we gave her over the years. Until one year, my mom and I invited her to join us in doing a neighborhood tag sale and several of the gifts my mom and I gave her showed up sitting on the table. We were really insulted that she didn’t even care enough to realize that those gifts had been from us at various times over the years.
One year, the UPS man was showing up at the door almost everyday with packages for her around November, December, foolish me thought, Wow, we are going to get some gifts this year. Christmas morning came and she announced that she couldn’t get anybody gifts because she was broke and didn’t have any money. Didnt see that coming!</p>
<p>Holy mollie - no more awkward gifts:</p>
<p>[Amazon</a> patents procedure to let recipients avoid undesirable gifts](<a href=“http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2013781512_amazon28.html]Amazon”>http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2013781512_amazon28.html)</p>
<p>Yup. An ISSUED US patent - no kidding.</p>
<p>[United</a> States Patent: 7831439](<a href=“http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO2&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsearch-bool.html&r=2&f=G&l=50&co1=AND&d=PTXT&s1=Bezos.INNM.&OS=IN/Bezos&RS=IN/Bezos]United”>http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO2&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsearch-bool.html&r=2&f=G&l=50&co1=AND&d=PTXT&s1=Bezos.INNM.&OS=IN/Bezos&RS=IN/Bezos)</p>
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<p>And here is my *absolute favorite * independent claim:</p>
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<p>:p Grandma Millie, I did not really care for the polka-dot socks you ordered for me from Amazon, so instead of shipping me the darn thing, Amazon conveniently “e-exchanged” it for the gift cerificate that I’m planning to apply towards my purchase of the next Halo game. But instead of me telling you the truth, Amazon sent you a nice e-thank you card on my behalf.</p>
<p>My grandma and great uncle (different sides of the family, similar gift giving strategies) always make me chuckle. Gifts my parents have received over the past few years:</p>
<p>rubberband balls, cheese grater/pepper grinder combo, disposable camera, LED flashlight, 4x6 pic of just grandma in a frame intended for an 8x10 (no mat), snuggie, stale candy, VHS tapes, investment books (which is hilarious because my dad’s a stockbroker–and a pretty good one at that)</p>
<p>Sometimes I think they’re off their rocker. It’s challenging to be a graceful recipient of a Christmas rubberband ball when one has no use for a thousand rubberbands. Ditto for disposable cameras when one has a great digital one.</p>
<p>^^^Sounds like they figured out that CVS is open late on Christmas Eve.</p>
<p>^ Too funny.</p>