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As I recall, it took me about five months to pack them all back then, although of course I was working at the time and could only do it at night and on the weekends. Now I have about five weeks! Plus I have more now than I did then! (Buying books has always been the one expenditure on myself that doesn’t make me feel horribly guilty and self-indulgent. In the last eight months, though, to save a little money, I’ve avoided buying more, and instead have re-read at least 100 books I found on my shelves. I’ve discovered that if it’s been 20 or 30 years since I read a book the first time, I’ve generally forgotten it so completely that it seems entirely new to me!)

I’m afraid it’s all up to me; my son is way too busy, and when I asked him if he had any friends who’d like to make a little money helping me pack my books for me, he said he didn’t. Of course, whatever I haven’t finished by the time I have to move, the movers will have to pack – just like the last time, when I hadn’t gotten to my kitchen yet, the movers packed its entire contents in about half an hour, including the few dirty dishes still in the sink!

Ha, I uploaded a picture of my kitty, Baby. I can’t see it unless I click on the avatar…she climbs door frames!

GA2012MOM, if you go to your profile and click on the “edit” button under the “thumbnail,” you can crop it so only the portion of the photo with your kitty appears in your avatar. I did that for Ziggy’s picture, which otherwise would show a lot more of him.

Sorry to hear about your Dad, but welcome back Donna !

I gotta get me a cat photo…

I gotta get me a cat . . .

Hey Donna,

Welcome back. I am sorry for your loss.

I see a trend with people’s avatars!

I can see why you would prefer to not live with someone, especially if you can get such a great deal on your own place. Those rents sound fantastic for NYC. I also am rather anti-social, and want my home to be a peaceful, stress free place to relax in. Have found comfort with some roommates, too much drama with others.

Perhaps someone on this thread can offer some suggestions or assistance with your job situation. You sound like a dedicated, highly competent and experienced lawyer. There are so many knowledgeable, high powered people on cc, I hope that someone can help you.

Thank you, busdriver. The apartment I thought I had fell through (they gave it to someone else, even though they had already approved me). But that may be a blessing in disguise, because I was shown a two-bedroom apartment this afternoon, just a 10-minute walk from where I am now, for $2200/month (the other one was almost $2700), that I like much better. The broker has already confirmed that the landlord is willing to rent it to me for a year’s rent in advance, so long as my application (which I’ve already filled out) is OK and my credit report is decent (I already know my credit score is around 800, which I’m told is pretty good). The apartment is in a pre-war elevator building on a quiet street less than two blocks from the nearest subway station, plus it’s been recently renovated with new kitchen cabinets and appliances (including a dishwasher, which I don’t have in my current apartment!) and bathroom – in fact, the bathroom still hasn’t had the sink put in! It’s about 1000 square feet (the other one was something between 500 and 600 square feet at most; my current apartment is a one-bedroom with about 900 sq ft., and I was even shown some tiny one-bedrooms in not-so-great neighborhoods which were only about 400 sq. ft., which I found unbelievably depressing). The kitchen is actually a separate room big enough for a table and chairs, and there are five big closets. Also, unlike the other apartment, it’s rent-stabilized, because the rent is under $2,500, which means not only that rent increases are limited, but that I’m entitled to automatic renewal and don’t have to worry that if God forbid I should still be unemployed a year from now, I’ll be in the same position of having to be approved and possibly having to move again. I know the heat works, because the radiators were on when I visited. The only disadvantage is that there’s no laundry room in the building, which isn’t great – I haven’t lived in a place without laundry facilities since 1979! – but there’s a laundromat around the corner.

The best thing, perhaps, is that this would be the first time I’ve lived in a place with more than one bedroom since my former spouse and I separated more than 14 years ago, when my son was 10, so he would finally, finally have his own room whenever he’s with me, instead of having to sleep in the living room on a pull-out sofa. I have always felt so guilty about not being able to provide him with that.

I should know in a couple of days whether I’ve been approved. If I am, given that I’m the only applicant (since the apartment isn’t even on the market yet in the sense that it hasn’t been publicly listed), and that the real estate broker I’ve been using has a prior relationship with this landlord (which he didn’t have with the other one), he’s positive that I’ll get the apartment. So, fingers crossed for the next couple of days. If and when this situation is resolved, I’ll be able to focus again on finding a new job, which I haven’t been able to do for a while now.

That apartment sounds like an awesome deal! Having to go around the block for laundry doesn’t seem that important, compared to another bedroom, more space, and cheap rent. You can always try what I used to do… wear clothes until they smell or are stained, needing to only do laundry once a month. However, we slobs in the PNW can probably get away with that easier than those of you who dress nicer in the NE.

Hope you get it!!

With the difference in rent, could you send most of your laundry out?

And in our civilized year of 2015, you don’t even need to sit and watch your clothes go around and around – I’m sure you can drop them off and pick them up later.

I might need those 5 big closets, as I would probably buy extra clothes so I could go longer without doing laundry. :slight_smile:

You may want to consider renting a storage space for some of your books. I used to have one at a climate controlled facility in Chelsea for $150/mon. I had a lot of stuff there. They would provide free van service to help you move stuff to and from there. Few times I was there, I noticed people were actually storing their off season clothes there. I am sure outside of Manhattan it would be a lot cheaper.

DonnaL, I think I remember you. Welcome back.

We downsized ourselves quite significantly about 5 years ago. We essentially only kept things that were of particular sentimental values to us and discarded almost everything to “start from the scatch”. We need to relocate but there was very little helps in the relocation package (I was lucky to even find a new job at my age in my field.)

We rent a small storage unit at our old city (to store those of sentimental values to us) and just flied to the new city with two pieces of check-in luggage to start a new life within a few days after I had found a new job. After having landed at the new city, I stayed at a hotel near a car dealer overnight and I bought a car the next day to drive to a new apartment that I had seen only online. We even had very little time to dispose or throw away most of our stuff.

We did not downsize; we zerosized and built our lives again from scratch somewhat like what we had done 30 years ago.

Yes, I felt somewhat bad then but I thought we were in a much worse situation 30 years ago (at least financially) so we should not be too sentimental about it because it could be worse.

We kept our old house (and eventually leased it out). One reason in the back of our mind is that it could somedays give us some “credit” to rent a place if we are still a home owner. But we do not know whether it is true or not (that is, whether owning a house which has not been paid off would give us any credits to rent an apartment if our income drops significantly.)

I am not sure if it would help by providing my personal experiences here.

Wish you well.

I will also a bit of my own experience here. I have posted that I was divorced after 30+ years. I started a new job in a city few hours from the family home. One thing I didn’t share here was I also lost my job almost the same day my ex decided to leave. It was a 6 months of soul searching for me. I was fortunate that I received a very generous severance so finance wasn’t much of concern. My new job kind of dropped in my lap when I wasn’t looking. The job is really tailored for me in many ways - the position was created for me and it plays to all of my strength in trying out newest technologies. The actual point I am getting to is I found a very nice apartment for myself in this new city, completely furnished with new stuff and everything I love. I have the luxury of going back and forth between two places, but when I am at my new apartment, I am very happy because it doesn’t have too many old memories, other than my kids and parents’ pictures. I agree with mcat2 that sometimes it is good to get rid of old when you want to start new. I know you value a lot of things you have, but maybe it would help in clearing your mind if you could get rid some of it. Maybe put them in storage for a while so you have space to receive something new.

Donna - haven’t read the whole thread but I wanted to share a couple links in case they could be helpful to you. iRelaunch runs workshops on career reentry (next one will be at Columbia U) and mostly to this point, corp programs/education programs have been focused on financial services but Pace launched one for lawyers which is getting good press.
http://www.law.pace.edu/newdirections

http://www.irelaunch.com/CareerReentry

Thanks so much for the suggestions, everyone.

If I get the apartment I applied for yesterday, it’s actually bigger than the one I live in now, so I won’t have to worry about putting anything in storage (something I actually considered when I started looking at apartments last month, and everything I was being shown was much smaller). Although of course every time I move, I do get rid of lots of stuff as I pack, even though I’m afraid my mountain of possessions never gets reduced very much. I’ve even started a pile of books I can actually throw out, as difficult as that is for me! Having been taught by my mother, in one of my earliest and most important childhood messages, that books are sacred. (Remember that she lived in Berlin as a child, including at the time of the book burnings in 1934.) Sacredness aside, I very much enjoy being surrounded by bookcases full of books, along with the antiquarian maps and Japanese prints and 19th century family photographs I choose to hang on the walls in whatever space isn’t taken up by bookcases. I find that comforting. Houses and apartments that don’t have a lot of books and other tangible reflections of the people who live there seem lonely and incomplete to me. And to anyone who wants to take a look, the books and objects surrounding me tell the story of my life. My history – and my family’s – made manifest.

Then again, I’m the kind of person who’s always drawn to Victorian and Edwardian photographs of interiors. What seems cluttered to most people looks good to me!

As for laundry, I’ll definitely have to look into dropping it off and having it done for me. Because doing laundry – even when it only involves taking an elevator to the basement – is one of my least (and possibly the absolute least) favorite activities in the world. And the idea of actually sitting at a laundromat brings back bad memories of living in a house on Linnaean Street in Cambridge 35+ years ago, and trudging through the snow in winter – at 4 or 5 pm, with the sky already dark – to get to the nearest laundromat, bringing one of my law school casebooks with me in the vain hope of getting something accomplished during the process. Ugh.

Thanks for the career links, amandakayak. I can’t bring myself to look at anything like that right now, but I will as soon as my living situation is resolved. (I know that as a grown woman I should be able to focus on more than one thing at a time, but I’m just not psychologically able to at the moment. Even though I definitely feel less depressed now than I did two or three months ago.)

If in the budget (and is usually very reasonable) consider taskrabbit to do your laundry https://www.taskrabbit.com/how-it-works