<p>CTTC- he stole the $10k from a different employer. We did not press charges, I think the local police said don’t bother. Heck, I once had an employee who I caught stealing cash from the register, I checked tapes and could document over $5k in the prior year. I got a full confession, the police still declined the opportunity to file charges. The good news on that was my insurance paid, she made restitution to the company and she never screwed up again (or was never caught.) Another employee with whom I connected recently said that girl went on to have a great normal life so not having those charges on her record was probably good.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine leaving my children with someone that I didn’t feel good about. I never left my kids with anyone that I had a bad feeling about. </p>
<p>My childrens favorite babysitter was a very heavy woman - go figure!</p>
<p>The economic realities are that unfortunately many families do not have ideal child are for their children. It is labor intensive and tends not to pay all that well relative to many other jobs/fields. </p>
<p>My friends have had nannies. My relatives are split–some have had relatives while others found small child are settings in homes for their kids. It can be a challenge to find the right fit in your price range.</p>
<p>Finding a good babysitter or nanny is very difficult. I always envied people who had family to rely on, although even if I had access to that, doubt I would have done that.
I was happy when the time passed that I had a need for that</p>
<p>I had a long-term babysitter/nanny who started with us when she was 14. She was the oldest of five children (blended family) and I went out to introduce myself to her when I saw her taking all the children for a walk with their pet ducks waddling behind. She babysat for me regularly all through high school and then when she was in college was a full-time nanny for us one summer. </p>
<p>I got off work early one day and she was at the pool with the kids. I went over to the pool and there she was sitting talking to a guy she was seeing on the side (not her regular boyfriend) and NOT watching the three kids in the pool. She didn’t even notice I had arrived for quite a while. </p>
<p>I was so mad at her; she had worked for me and been a friend of our family for about eight years by then. She has her own two children now, and we are still in touch, but I have never really forgotten that incident. I thought it was quite revealing of her character.</p>
<p>One of the job responsibilities for all my nannies was to do the laundry – wash, dry, and fold. We would put it away.</p>
<p>My very first nanny decided that washing my underwear was “beneath” her. So she sorted through the laundry to find and remove my underwear, then washed the rest – including DH’s underwear. It wasn’t that important, so I let it ride, but she did have “attitude.”</p>
<p>My own mom had terrible taste in babysitters. Three different incidents (all different sitters) I remember from my childhood:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>A very attractive young woman mom hired when she and dad were going out of town for a week. My brother (15 at the time) lost his virginity to this sitter that week… but they carefully did not tell her boyfriend, a Golden Gloves boxer who came over sometimes during the week. On top of that, she provided hash (!) for ME (age 12) and my brothers to smoke, and we sat around the kitchen smoking a pipe of it.</p></li>
<li><p>A grandmotherly type she hired once for a few days had her biker (as in, leather/motorcycle) hanging around a lot. Two weeks later she and the son were arrested for drug distribution.</p></li>
<li><p>A neighbor girl was watching us once, and she let my brothers ride their bikes on the roof of our house. It is NOT a flat roof. 
No one fell off, but they were darned lucky.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>My mom and H watched our S for 6 weeks, after my 3 month maternity leave ended and before I decided to resign my position. It was a good experience for all of us and we were all relieved it only lasted 6 weeks.</p>
<p>I loved my kids’ nanny, so no stories there.</p>
<p>Before I went back to work, I went to the playground with my kids almost every day so saw the local nannies in action. Most of them were fine. There was one that I thought was incredibly negligent. She kept the younger child, who was old enough to walk, strapped in the stroller at all times and let the other one, a three-year-old girl, run loose throughout the playground without keeping an eye on her. The girl always attached herself to me and my kids, and often we were out of the nanny’s sight (it was a big playground). I felt so bad for these kids that I tracked down the parents. Well, similar to telling parents that you saw their teenager smoking pot, these parents did not want to hear it, made all kinds of excuses for the nanny, and said they couldn’t possibly fire her because the kids loved her so much. But they must have said something to the nanny, because after that, the toddler was sometimes let out of the stroller to play.</p>
<p>We had friends who wanted a house sitter for their house and pets while they were out of town. They used a friend’s 18-20 year old D who had been a friend and neighbor for many years. While they were gone, the pets were neglected and had many accidents which were NOT cleaned throughout the house, had wild parties resulting in significant damage to the dwelling and furnishings, had sex on all the beds and left soiled sheets on all beds, and generally competed with Animal House. The friendship was destroyed and the young woman expected to be paid when actually she caused so much damages that furnishings needed to be replaced.</p>
<p>We were lucky to find an elderly grandmother who loved children but did not have any young grandchildren to watch anymore. She came to our house, watched our newborn twins, did all my laundry, and many days would have dinner waiting when I came home from work (that was not in our agreement). She was wonderful. By the time I had my next one -6 years later- she was no longer available. When I went back to work, I went thru 4 or 5 people who just did not work out. I finally found a cute little in-home day care that had great recs, but when I picked up my D that night they had not changed her diaper all day long and she had huge blisters all over her cute little bottom. I called into work the next day and gave my notice the following. Husband was working out of town by then and I knew we would be moving anyway. I did not go back to work until my youngest was in high school and then part time. When he leaves next year I will go back full time.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’m glad you had that option. I’ve left my kid in a situation I didn’t feel good about, twice. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But as a single mom of a kid with medical issues, I’d used every day of leave and then a whole lot more, and my job was on the line. If I’d lost my job, I would have lost my health insurance which would have been a disaster. </p>
<p>To be clear, my goofy college student babysitter wasn’t the problem. While I don’t know that I got my money’s worth in terms of enriching activities, I always felt like my kid was safe.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Am I missing something here?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Go back and read the original post.</p>
<p>OP here. I understand that overweight people can be good people, but she was also unkempt – not well-groomed, not respectful of herself. In retrospect, I realized that if she was not respectful of herself, she wasn’t going to be respectful of my kids.</p>
<p>When I was a child we had a wonderful woman who watched me quite often. She was quite overweight, but I loved her just the same. She was kind and funny - I have many good memories.
When my children were babies and I worked a great deal, it took us a few tries to find the “perfect” nanny.
The first was a Mrs. Doubtfire type -(yes, same size). She was a lovely woman with fabulous references. The week before she was to report, she decided that she couldn’t move so far away from her grandchildren and left us in the lurch. Thank goodness we had relatives that could fill in until we could find a second prospect.
Number two also had glowing recommendations. She was very, very knowledgable about children - maybe too knowledgable.<br>
From day one, she started instructing me on how things were going to be done in my own home. She made up schedules and rules for the baby without asking me and then just told me that that was how it would be done. Yes, she knew what she was doing, she was very thorough and extremely efficient. But I wanted a nanny who reported to me - not a drill sergeant who wanted to run my home like an army platoon!
Finally, on the third try we found a wonderful woman who was just a joy. She stayed with us for a few years. It was such a comfort to go to work and know that I had nothing to worry about. We were very fortunate.</p>
<p>I never had a nanny, and fortunately had a home daycare that was fabulous right next door to our house that our kids went to until they started nursery school…and the for before/after school care.</p>
<p>I did leave DD at nursery school once. I got about half way home when I realized the reason the car was so quiet was that I forgot the kid at nursery school!</p>
<p>I never would have made it as a nanny!</p>
<p>thumper1, I have a similar story. I had arranged with my kid’s regular babysitter to pick up both her kid and mine and take them to her and then planned to go on to work. Somehow I managed to pick up my kid, but not hers! So embarrassing. Luckily her kid was unfazed and their teacher wasn’t mad at me when I went back to get him a bit late.</p>
<p>Mathmom, and Thumper, I had the opposite once. One day I didn’t show up to pick up my kid at school. He and his best friend convinced his best friend’s mother that I had arranged a playdate, so she took them both home, along with the note to his teacher pinned to backpack saying that he was to stay for aftercare. When I arrived to pick him up and he was nowhere in the building, I was in a panic. Thankfully his school required a “sign out” and they checked and saw where he had gone.</p>
<p>Okay, a happier tale: One of my great nannies was morbidly obese and not one of those “she’d be so pretty if only she lost weight” types. Against all odds, she found a husband in our town, and we traveled to her home state (we live in New England and she came from the Midwest), so my D could be the flower girl in her wedding. D, then age 4, had a monumental meltdown on the way to the ceremony and had to be dragged down the aisle by the maid of honor, bawling her head off all the way. The moment was immortalized in the wedding video. That nanny is probably telling the story on some discussion thread where retired nannies talk about their awful charges.</p>