<p>No, I mean the little girls think (correctly!) that they will be judged and shut down by being labelled bossy if they attempt to lead. And therefore, because they have been taught all their life that exercising leadership the ways the boys exercise leadership will lead them to be judged and shut down, they stop doing it. </p>
<p>For that reason, when they become adults, they have learned not to exercise leadership by leading. They have learned (again, correctly!) that what is leadership when done by men is aggressive, ball-busting, unpleasant, undesired behavior when done by women.</p>
<em>chuckles</em> I don’t see what’s so wrong with throwin’ some provocativeness out there every once and awhile. Beyoncé’s a great women who has mades waves. Sh embraces her sexuality and empowers women. </p>
<p>I don’t know. I don’t see that phenomenon at work here in this generation, at least not in my neck of the woods. Instead, I see both genders coming to understand that aggressive, ball-busting, often unpleasant behavior is not just tolerated but is the key to advancement, even early on. There’s a reason that Susan Cain’s book (Quiet) has had such a following.</p>
<p>I think others have already said this but I worry much more about the free use of words like “slut” to belittle girls and women than I do “bossy.” </p>
<p>We have a daughter whom we raised to exercise her true potential as much as possible. Yet she reports she runs into this behavior in the men in the workplace. She recently attended a design meeting with about 15 art director types. 13 men, 2 women. They were asked to come up with ideas on a project. She said the men just talked over them, she said it was if they didn’t even hear voices in a higher register. (Which was interesting because I’ve noticed that also.). Finally the group leader asked for everyone just to write down their ideas, no signatures, and they would pick the top 10. Of the chosen 10, my daughter thought it was hilarious that 7 of them came from the two female colleagues. </p>
<p>It was like a previous poster (VeryHappy or CF?)'s link: once they put the musicians behind a curtain of anonymity, suddenly the females played “better”. </p>
<p>So there are really two sides to this coin. There is the behavior of our daughters. We can do our best to raise them to be assertive, independent human beings. Then there is the behavior of other people. No matter how strong women are, they don’t walk into a company in control of their own destiny. </p>
<p>It’s a thousand times better for women than it used to be, and I think it will continue to get better. Some companies or industries appear to be less prone to discriminatory perceptions than others. And I do agree with you folks who are saying that we need to stop all truly bossy and bullying behaviors. </p>
<p>The confidence I see in the girls of my daughters’ generation is breathtaking, compared to my own pathetic sense of self as a young girl. I’m not seeing a problem where I live, but that could be because I live in a high SES area, where most of the mothers I know are educated professionals or former professionals or equivalent. No one is putting down the girls around here. (Except the bullies).</p>
<p>How is that relevant? Since no one in this discussion has claimed that no girls have leadership positions, a girl holding a leadership position would demonstrate nothing.</p>
<p>It will prove that girls in fact do not stop leading because they are “taught that exercising leadership the ways the boys exercise leadership will lead them to be judged and shut down”.</p>
<p>i agree with hayden. Sometimes as a girl, surrounded by guys, it can be a little bit hard to be heard. I don’t know if they honestly just don’t hear you, or what it is. I don’t think they are meaning to ignore or be disrespectful.</p>
<p>I run into this a lot because I work from home… so i attend about 97 percent of all meetings virtually… so not only do you have to speak up, but you have to speak up loud enough that the poly com picks you up and gets their attention to stop. People always forget about you on the phone.</p>
<p>Don’t be naive. A man looking around the room at his “competition” sees the women as easy to dismiss, and he does so the way you mention. It’s not conscious, but that’s what he does. He also evaluates the men in the room to determine if he can ride roughshod over them or if he needs to tread more gently. But IME, to men, it is all about who’s on top.</p>
<p>I think our children’s generation is getting better, but I don’t work with folks in their 20s so I don’t have first-hand experience. All I know is my direct experience with men in their 40s, 50s and older. And I myself have tire tracks down my back from my encounters.</p>
<p>I don’t doubt this. As a pioneer in my own profession (and probably an affirmative action hire), I’ll never forget the day during a meeting our client looked at me, as the only (young) woman in the room, and told me to go make them some dinner reservations.</p>
<p>But I don’t think what happens with the older generation is much applicable to what is happening to girls in school nowadays, at least in my own experience.</p>