I’d suggest that you opt for RD instead. If you opt for any college where admission is highly competitive, you are likely to find it filled with highly competitive students You may find that you would be more comfortable at a college that might be a match or even safety for you.
It’s been a decade since my daughter graduated from Barnard but my impression was that it was filled with highly driven, independent-minded, ambitious women. Barnard offers many benefits to its students over Columbia, but I wouldn’t describe it as “laid back”.