Two schools that are supportive as you say, offer excellent academics, and are decidedly NOT cutthroat are Bryn Mawr and Mt. Holyoke.
Of the two, Bryn Mawr might be closer to what you’re looking for. It seems to check all of your boxes of –
- Separate in feel, but has access to Ivy-level classes (it’s in a consortium with Swarthmore, Haverford and UPenn in Philly)
- Cares deeply about academics but has several things in place to ensure that the students are NOT competitive with each other; rather they care that they personally are achieving their best and it doesn’t matter how your neighbor did on the exam. Students report that it’s genuinely caring environment. Low on the stress spectrum. Way low.
- For example of how stress is purposefully lowered, exams are self-scheduled and the honor system means that you can leave stuff out on campus and it will be there when you return.
- Deeply intellectual environment.
- Ambitious, strong women but who are also interested in caring for each other and themselves and the world.
- Gorgeous campus besides
- Access to socializing with men, in that Haverford is a brother school traditionally although now Haverford is coed. Men will be in some of the BMC classes and BMC women will be in Haverford classes. The campuses are a mile apart. Buses run regularly to Haverford and Swarthmore – a relatively more competitive environment but also 30 minutes away by the special bus. UPenn is about 20 minutes away by (free cost – paid for by BMC) train line.
Perhaps look at the website NICHE to see how the students discuss their experiences at the campuses you’re considering.
Mt. H is also way, way low on the stress spectrum.
Best of luck to you.