<p>I’m the oldest of five. I cherish the ability to close the door on the world and have privacy. I ALWAYS knock on my kids’ doors first and wait for them to say I can come in.</p>
<p>As for the bathroom door – if someone’s in there, it’s closed. Noone else comes in (including the spouse). </p>
<p>DH usually goes to bed first, and he closes the bedroom door, esp. since I am often still in the kitchen and may have the TV on. I will do the same thing. We try to keep the door closed so the dog doesn’t come into our room unsupervised (though she sleeps in our room when S1 is not home).</p>
<p>If the door is closed, but the light is on, I’ll tap the door with one or two fingertips (a very soft knock) and then come in. If the lights are off, I’ll come in quietly and not turn on the lights. </p>
<p>We have both been known to go upstairs and close the door for a phone conversation. Sometimes it’s for work, sometimes it’s legal advice, sometimes it’s getting away from the noise so I can talk to my folks. </p>
<p>Question for you all: do you lock the bedroom door if you are angry with your spouse and want to be alone?</p>
<p>I grew up in a closed door home and I have the same environment now.</p>
<p>I don’t want the dogs in my room (actually, I don’t want the dogs at all but I was outvoted) so it’s always closed whether occupied or not. I also don’t want the dogs in the kids’ rooms so they are always kept closed.</p>
<p>I don’t knock on my door when I walk in, neither does my H. However, everyone in my family has been trained from an early age to knock before walking in to someone else’s room. I consider it the height of rudeness to enter another’s room if they are in it without permission. The only time I don’t knock is if it’s night and I think my child is asleep and I just want to check on them.</p>
<p>In the OP’s situation, can you just move the chair? Or make a little sign that you could velcro to the door when you’re in the chair that says “Please knock, I’m sitting in the chair by the door.”</p>
<p>Gee, I have to think if i knock. When I enter our bedroom, there’s a 10’ hall, so there’s very little chance of hitting someone when we open the door (unless someone’s coming out of the master bath at that moment). But, I don’t like to intrude, so I think I tap-as-I-open.</p>
<p>Counting Down, If anything, it’s just the reverse around here. DH would never notice I’m crying. But generally, it’s never been bad enough to want to lock a door. Couldn’t anyway.</p>
<p>We don’t have bedroom locks and except for the bathroom rarely close doors all of the way so if a door is shut I knock or call before opening it. My husband does as well. Our daughter trained us when she was in middle school. :o</p>
<p>Just asked H. He said no because it is his bedroom too, why should he need to knock before he enters. I agree. If my kid’s door is closed, I knock before I enter.</p>
<p>Closing the bedroom door is so rare for us (no kids in the house) that if one of us were to do that, the other would definitely stand at the door and say, “Spouse?” I wouldn’t want to interrupt him wrapping a present for me! (The only reasonable explanation for him to close the door!) However, if I’m in the bathroom, even just taking a bath, I insist that he knock. I would always knock too.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t expect my husband to knock, but I would expect my kids to. And I would knock before entering their rooms too.</p>
<p>As for JHS’ question about whether it’s ok to turn on a light - we have a double standard, but I’m ok with it. H gets middle of the night phone calls and has to leave in a hurry, so it’s just part and parcel of our lives that he needs to answer the phone and talk in a normal voice, and he gets “dispensation” for turning on the light if needed. I’m so used to this that I will typically sleep through this disruption. OTOH, if I were getting up super early for a flight, I wouldn’t turn on a light in the bedroom - I’d go into the bathroom.</p>
<p>I knock on the kids’ doors (unless the light is out & I’m just checking on them before I go to sleep). For H, he generally would have closed the door because I’m making too much noise & he’s trying to nap/sleep, so like others said, I wouldn’t compound it by knocking to wake him when I come in–open slowly & quietly & try not to trip or turn on any lights. :)</p>
<p>In your situation, OP, since you were surprised & hurt, I’d apologize if I were the one who accidentally injured you and try to open more slowly & gently in the future. As self protection, I might get a wedge doorstop that I could put in to prevent the door from opening on me when I wanted to be just in front of it & it might injure me if abrupty opened on me. Making up a new rule to emphasize that you were hurt might not work too well or be remembered. Self preservation step of a doorstop or something else to slow the door might be a safer course of action for YOU.</p>
<p>Our bedroom is the only place in our house for an adult to have privacy. No lock on the door. The door is generally open, unless someone is taking a nap or needs privacy. So we do what Doug said in his post - knock first, but enter without waiting for an answer.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t want to walk in on my husband if he was, well, you know. At least give him a second to drop… the magazine…</p>
<p>Sometimes when I am ill o have a headache I want to be in a dark room ALONE. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my partner. Everyone needs privacy at times. Or if I am writing something and need concentration. I would understand if my partner wanted the same courtesy, its not like a dorm room you have to share. A house or apt has several rooms.</p>