<p>I agree, Mary, that the violence in the Stieg Larsson books (particularly the second one, as I recall) is orders of magnitude worse than the violence in this one. </p>
<p>Re Dr Nash…I realized as soon as Chris was first shown photos of a little boy during the MRI that she must have a son – and, until she started getting the hots for Nash, I thought that Nash might turn out to BE her son!</p>
<p>Re Chris’s infidelity, it was implied that she suffered from postpartum depression at first - at least to some degree - and then writer’s block, although neither are very good excuses!</p>
<p>I was wondering why the author decided to have Chris’s feelings towards the doctor turn increasingly erotic. Perhpas this was an allusion to the infidelity? Also, I was confused by the Dr. Nash character’s giving Chris a cell phone. That seemed implausible to me, yet it was “real.”</p>
<p>Nash was like a therapist to Chris, in that she confided things to him that she could not tell “Ben,” and he was helping her. I think it’s pretty common for people to fall in love with therapists – it’s a form of “transference,” right?</p>
<p>In addition, she felt like a young woman in an older woman’s body…</p>
<p>BUandBC82: The cell phone bothered me too, though I never even thought of the recharging issue. Dr. Nash mainly made calls during the day when “Ben” worked. Still it seems likely that Ben would have stumbled across the extra phone … perhaps when he recharged the cell phone he himself gave her. I agree with your comment: “To me, it was rape. He wasn’t her husband. He was a liar and took advantage of her.” However, I would add that he carried it even further with a “date rape” drug.</p>
<p>excerpts from Friday, November 16 (Ben had taken her out for his “birthday”):
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<p>Occasionally Christine’s actions/emotions did not quite ring right for me. For me, the male author S.J. Watson stumbled just a bit here and there, though he claims to have had more problems with authenticity as an amnesiac than as a middle age woman. Still it seems to be a source of pride that most don’t recognize the male behind the middle-age woman’s narration.</p>
<p>^ great link Ignatius- "Many early readers of the novel found the female narrator so convincing that they assumed Mr. Watson (S stands for Steve) was a woman, says Clare Conville, Mr. Watson’s literary agent.** Some foreign publishers even demanded photographic proof once** they learned his identity, Mr. Watson says.</p>
<p>“Ninety percent of the publishers and 90% of the people who read it think he’s a woman,” Ms. Conville says.</p>
<p>And then this- perhaps even more astounding from Ignatius’s link: </p>
<p>Initially, Mr. Watson planned a more meditative novel exploring themes of “memory and identity and love,” he says.</p>
<p>"I hadn’t realized it was a thriller until my agent read it," he says.</p>
<p>I did not care too much for this book-it was a quick and easy read-but I did not feel the charactors were developed. I very much like the reading guide questions posted above though! It’s interesting to think of how animals might think, and how amnesia might affect the brain.</p>
<p>Things that bothered me - the cell phone. It was just too easy for “Ben” to notice.
As i mentioned before, the way things were wrapped up at the end. Real husband left her because he thought it was best for her. Son doesn’t bother to even check where on her. Really? He never check and had facility say, “Oh, she left with your dad?”</p>
<p>That was just a little too convoluted to me. </p>
<p>I thought the best of the novel was in the beginning. Christine examining herself and being shocked at being a much older woman. Gosh - I have that same feeling each morning and I don’t have amnesia.</p>
<p>I agree that the author had the ultimate tool to manipulate the main character and the reader: the use of amnesia. As a mother, I was bothered how Chris was fooled into thinking her son died.</p>
<p>Here is something a woman never would have written:</p>
<p>“I held my breath as I found panties in silk and lace at the back of the drawer, items bought to be seen as well as worn. Rearranging the unused ones exactly as I had found the, I chose a pale blue pair that seemed to have a matching bra and slipped them both on…”</p>
<p>Nobody “slips” a BRA on, S.J. Watson…nobody!!</p>
<p>Ignatius, regarding the possibility of a “date rape drug” on Nov 19…I, too, thought about how what Chris remembered might not have been a dream. </p>
<p>One thing led me to believe it was a dream and not an actual violation of some kind, and that was the fact that Chris apparently had no bodily sensation of having been made love to, much less raped.</p>
<p>The author was not particularly shy about describing physical details and sensations, so if something like that had really happened, I think he would have described how Chris felt it in her body.</p>
<p>One thing the sex dream did was give her a vision of her real husband’s face, though she did not yet understand whose face it was. It’s interesting that the author chose that way to introduce the memory.</p>
<p>I think that Christine’s dilemma taps into a common, deep-seated fear, especially for “women of a certain age.” We near age 50 and begin to forget car keys and phone numbers and dates and names of friends from the past. We watch our parents succumb to dementia or Alzheimers and we wonder if we’re next. Watson saddled his protagonist with an affliction that hits a little too close to home for the middle-aged audience. So kudos to him—it’s a smart move for a novel of psychological suspense.</p>
<p>Also, as an aside—and feel free to psychoanalyze me—a recurring bad dream that I’ve always had is one where I lose time. In my dream, I suddenly “wake up” in the middle of an important event and have no recollection of what has come before: I’ve lost a day, a week, a month, a year—the amount of time varies, but the feeling of panic is the same. Has anyone else ever experienced this (other than in the context of being abducted by aliens)? </p>
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<p>I agree that was utterly absurd. I don’t know which was less believable—the fact that neither Real Ben nor Adam would check on Christine, or the idea that the personnel at Waring House would let Christine check herself out of the institution in her condition. In the “let’s wrap this up” conclusion, Christine absolves the facility with the words, “I had discharged myself, signed all the paperwork. I had left voluntarily. They couldn’t have stopped me, even if they’d believed there was a reason for them to try.” Hmmm. I’ll bet a good malpractice attorney would argue differently.</p>
<p>^^I was also very skeptical that Dr. Nash would pursue Christine without the permission of her husband. He always told her that she agreed to meet with him, she agreed to have the tests…really? Again, this wouldn’t happen in real life. </p>
<p>Mary, some of us have been nearing age 50 for a while now. :)</p>
<p>I’m just catching up here since I was out of town yesterday. I enjoyed the book in a “beach read” sort of way. I agree with Mary13 that coming on the heels of “State of Wonder,” it was a real let down in the writing skills department. </p>
<p>That said, when I realized the plot line was of Christine not remembering anything when she woke up each morning, the first thing I thought of was that movie with Adam Sandler & Drew Barrymore; “50 First Dates.” The movie story line was all “feel good,” though, and in this book it was clear from the get-go that something wasn’t right.</p>
<p>I agree that parts of the plot were way too convoluted, just to get to the end result. All those years of the real Ben coming to visit Christine and then he just divorces her and takes off? Adam not visiting or even calling about his mom for all those months after Mike took her out of the home? The woman/worker at the home conveniently having just returned to work there when Dr. Nash starts asking questions about Christine’s time there? Claire not being in touch? Hadn’t thought about the issue of charging the phone Dr. Nash gave her, but what about his calling every day, including weekends, to remind Christine where her journal is and to write in it? Fake Ben (FB) is never there? What about all the time it would take Christine to write so much in her journal every day? IMO it would take larger chunks of time alone than she could reasonably have, especially at the end of the day. And, again, IMO, what on earth attracted Christine to FB in the first place? Doesn’t ring true to me. I guess with this sort of book, it’s clearly better not to analyze things too much.</p>
<p>For me, one of the big clues that FB was, in fact fake, was when Dr. Nash took Christine to her old house and the woman there said the previous owner had been an architect. And there was no mention by the previous owner that there had been a fire, like FB had told her. For a while I thought Dr. Nash was her attacker – which I guess is what the author intended. She did know him from earlier on, though, didn’t she? At the end, in the hospital, doesn’t she have a memory of a younger Dr. Nash?</p>
<p>Overall, I think that the problem with the book is that the “true” parts don’t make sense. As such, it becomes an inauthentic read (because we are on the search for the truth).</p>
<p>Another sticky point: How does Christine have the ability to consent to treatment with Dr. Nash? CCB, you are right…I guess you just have to go with the flow. Mary, I would say the same thing is true with your dream; dreams are spotty regarding time elements, and the fact that you panic shows your analytic nature. Are you able to enjoy yourself once the panic dissolves (in your dream)?</p>
<p>It’s funny how several of us were bothered by the cell phone issues!</p>
<p>No, the anxiety of not remembering where I’ve been or what I’ve done usually just wakes me up. I attribute it to being the mom of five. I’m trying to track (and yes, control ;)) several lives, so the thought of missing crucial pieces is bad dream-producing. Or maybe it means that my own life is a blank because I’ve thrown all my good years away on child-rearing. (Just kidding, kids! Love you! :)) </p>
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<p>It’s not just the cell phone issue that bothered me. Other strange thoughts kept running through my head, like: Does Ben remember to buy tampons? What about birth control? You can bet he’s not a condom kind of guy and Christine could probably still conceive at 47. And how does Christine stay healthy? She can’t start an exercise regimen or plan a week of nutritious meals or schedule a mammogram or make a dentist appointment…</p>
<p>Being the caregiver for Christine could be very taxing. I’m surprised Fake Ben lasted as long as he did before going in for the kill. And had he been successful, it would have been the perfect crime. When Real Ben and Adam finally decided to check in on Christine, they would have found that she discharged herself from Waring House, never to be seen again.</p>
<p>I do agree about the plot elements and details that don’t make sense. Here’s another one: although I can buy that Chris had time to write in and read her journal…after all, she did almost nothing else!..fake Ben (“FB” - love it, CBBBlinker!) was apparently reading her journal quite a bit, over an unknown period of time. How in the world could he have managed that, when Chris was in the house whenever he was, except for perhaps one single occasion?</p>
<p>However, in defense of the book, I think that its strengths were in the way the author described Chris’s thoughts and daily struggles during most of the story. I felt that the interweaving of past and present tenses, the domestic details, the memories fading in and out, and the interplay between incident and reflection…were masterful, and a real treat. I read many parts relatively slowly, thinking about things and looking for clues, rather than being in a huge rush to find answers.</p>
<p>I also liked the character of Claire. She seemed real, as Nash did not. The most emotionally true parts of the book - to my mind - were the fading in and out…and the agonizing over…the memories of the lost child and friend. I think that these are two things we can all relate to on some level, even if our losses have been much, much less serious (maybe only a kid away a college who is seldom present and is changing so fast), or a friend we’ve simply become estranged from.</p>
<p>Yes and no. Christine realizes she has no clothes on. Other journal entries mention putting her nightie on. I think the author means to imply that Fake Ben (thanks CBBB) drugged Christine. Perhaps a male author not understanding the female “bodily sensation of having been made love to” … ?</p>
<p>Another case of not quite hitting it right shows up with the reasoning behind the affair between Christine and Mike. Most of us can’t grasp why Christine starts up with Mike. Postpartum depression seems to be a weak reason for a woman who admittedly adores her baby and has a solid support system in her husband and friend. Maybe we don’t understand Chrissy for good reason.</p>
<p>Okay … remember I knew before starting the book that Ben was fake Ben … in actuality, the evil one. So I imagine I read the book from a different perspective than those of you who had no clue. I sensed immediately that one of the pictures shown during the MRI - “a man, attractive, his hair black and slightly longish, with a pair of dark-rimmed glasses framing narrowed eyes and a scar running down the side of his face” - would turn out to be Real Ben … and that Claire introduced them the night of the fireworks (though Chrissy never made it to the introduction in her flashback). </p>
<p>In any case, I’m not so bothered by Ben and Adam not checking on Christine at Waring House. Fake Ben had Christine only four months; with Real Ben gone to Italy and Adam living and working in a different town, it could happen. After all, Christine had not been a viable part of their lives for years. Bet Christmas would have been a touchpoint … and a shocker when they realized she checked out. I excuse Waring House less, but if one and all thought Fake Ben to be her husband, then legally he could sign her out. I’m still bothered by Dr. Nash though … he knows Christine can’t be considered legally competent to make the decisions he asks of her.</p>
<p>^^^ Waking naked beside Fake Ben can’t be a good thing that day either. That occurs on Nov. 30, the day Dr. Nash hands her journal back to her and suggests they no longer need to meet. Fake Ben already knows everything … has beat her. Christine tells Dr. Nash that same day that she and “Ben” plan to go to the coast that evening.</p>
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<p>I think that Fake Ben only becomes aware of the journal after Claire tells him on Friday the 23rd. She has that entry and then one written on Monday the 26 - both torn from the journal before she hands it over to Dr. Nash on Tuesday the 27. The last words Dr. Nash reads express love for Ben: </p>
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<p>Dr. Nash asks about Christine’s bruised face that Friday when he returns her journal, but Christine makes light of it because she has no memory of how it happened. (Though come to think of it, surely the bruised face looked even worse the day she handed over the journal to Dr. Nash.) Only later, in the hotel room that night, does Christine realize that Fake Ben got his hands on the journal and removed the last two entries: “Ben had found the journal, removed the pages, …” </p>
<p>If you think about it, the overall time frame in Before I Go to Sleep lasts such a short period. Fake Ben lives with Christine four months. Christine starts the journal on Nov. 9, last entry on Nov. 26, to the hotel on the Nov. 30 - three weeks total. </p>
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<p>Well said!</p>
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<p>Love it! And perhaps as the mom to five you have been abducted by aliens - beloved aliens, of course.</p>
I agree with your comment: “To me, it was rape. He wasn’t her husband. He was a liar and took advantage of her.” However, I would add that he carried it even further with a “date rape” drug.</p>