<p>I love post #13 by Eastcoascrazy - spot on!</p>
<p>Also, to add to the topic - “There is no I in Team!” Sounds corny but the best varsity team experience my child had was on a team where the players (the kids - not parents or coaches) decided to spend the season living by this rule.</p>
<p>Great advice on here.</p>
<p>My advice (I hope this wasn’t already said, I skimmed quickly): Do not over celebrate when you win or make a great play. Some celebration is appropriate. On and on and on is not.</p>
<p>“There is no I in TEAM” is the team motto at our kids’ private school. </p>
<p>One thing I really liked about my S’s team was that they honestly cheered solid effort by the other team. It shocked the other team and the officials and the kids were being honest. His team won the championship, but that was secondary to them being REALLY nice guys. They really played as a team and honestly congratulated the other team on good plays, even when the other team scored on them. </p>
<p>The other thing I admired about S’s team, they NEVER ran up the score on any team. If their team was ahead in the game (as they often were), and had a small lead, they would deliberately start dribbling the ball with their non-dominant foot and aim for a particular spot about 10 or 20 feet distant from the goal.</p>
<p>We had a coach that made sure he found at least one thing to honestly praise about each team member. He’d write a newsletter periodically and write something good about each of the boys. That year, we had all the “leftovers,” and no stars but that team won the championship because the kids pulled together and were great at spotting and making plays.</p>
<p>cause it’s his birthday</p>
<p>-Be Buster Posey</p>
<p>^^^
<a href=“Posey Is the Heart of San Francisco - The New York Times”>Posey Is the Heart of San Francisco - The New York Times;
<p>When my kids were little, I often told them that they did not need to tell people if they were good at something. Cal Ripken is from our county, so I used him as the example and said that Cal Ripken did not need to tell anyone he was a good baseball player; people could see it.</p>
<p>My son’s soccer team travelled all over the country for tournaments. Many talented players–almost no problems with egos.</p>
<p>The coaches demanded respect from players and parents–and got it. Players from a young age were responsible for their own equipment/uniforms (no "my mom forgot my alternate jersey/socks/cleat wrench). …and diet. Don’t expect the coaches or team mates to be supportive if you slurp down a large milkshake before a practice or a game.</p>
<p>Players were expected to be ready for practice (gear on, and warmed up) on time–the coach didn’t want to waste valuable time watching players take a leisurely lap around the park. Players were expected to be respectful at all times–to coaches, refs, team mates, opponents, parents. Coaches were excellent role models in this respect.</p>
<p>Players and parents learned that the time to discuss things with the coach was not right before or after a game. Our coach also had a rule that he would not discuss things with a parent as far as playing time/position unless the player participated in the discussion.</p>
<p>Also, realize that the coach is coaching a team, and not just individual players, and that the talent pool available to him dictates some decisions. </p>
<p>My son was lucky enough to be a versatile player who could be effective just about anywhere on the field–which meant he often played where the coach needed him, rather then where he preferred to play. On his varsity team, he anchored the defense, alternating between defensive mid and sweeper, depending on the day’s strategy or opponent. On his club team, he generally played center or offensive mid–unless the coach moved him up to striker, or back on defense…He learned quite early that to complain about his position on the field generally meant that he was given an opportunity to complain about his position on the bench.</p>
<p>Make sure your player understands that team sports is about more than just winning (although winning can be a lot more fun than losing, obviously). My son has talked about all the life lessons he learned through sports–like Showing Up–even when it is 33 degrees and sleeting and you need to be at the field at 6:30 am to card in for an 8 am game. This lesson carries over to life. So does the ability to work as a team member, to lead or follow or support as necessary. And the lesson that while he is mom’s very special snowflake, there are a lot of very special snowflakes out there and on any given day a lot of them are going to be better or luckier than him. That sometimes you are the star, and sometimes the goat, and sometimes not favored by those in authority over you (coaches, refs). How to work hard at something difficult, or not a natural talent, and how to win graciously and lose graciously too.</p>
<p>Perhaps the most important thing to being a good teammate is to go in with a good attitude–that you are in it to enjoy it, to work hard, to work together, and to learn to measure improvement even when success isn’t frequent.</p>
<p>Players play.
Coaches coach.
Referees officiate.
Spectators watch and cheer.</p>
<p>Stick to your part of the game.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Was the “small lead” one that they considered safe from a comeback by the other team?</p>
<p>Actually I think it was when they were just maybe one or two goals ahead. Their approach to soccer was more intellectual than athletic. They generally could assess when their team could control the game pretty accurately and got pretty good at dribbling with non-favored foot and hitting exact spots they aimed for. </p>
<p>The funny thing was that the boys decided this on their own with no input from the parents or coach. They were a very cheerful team. I think it was the only year the same team got both the first place trophy and best sportsman award. </p>
<p>They had an end of season party at a beach house. They found two chess sets and had a chess tournament. Most of the boys weren’t all that into the water. </p>
<p>For one of S’s other teams, his goal was to be firmly in the 2nd string of the team. I was puzzled because I knew he could play better than several of the first stringers. His logic was they REALLY wanted to be good. He just wanted to know he’d be able to get some playing time and little pressure because they would get their turn when we were way ahead or he’d just play a little to relieve the starters. After he said that I could see he had put great thought into his choice and was glad to understand.</p>
<p>Well, if they were controlling the game completely against a much worse team, even one or two goals ahead would be a safe lead. (Did the opposing team ever see it as an insult when they started using the rest of the game as “practice”?)</p>
<p>That stands in sharp contrast to college football teams, most of whom will run up the score as much as possible. However, most college football teams have weaker defenses than offenses, so even a 30 point lead might not be considered a safe lead in a college football game.</p>
<p>Actually most of the teams in the league were considered better than them. They somehow clicked well together and did well in spite of it. They only had a figurehead coach. It was a unique season.</p>
<p>As a parent who had kids in organized sports for more than 20 years (and some of them still play but I no longer am involved!), the two most important factors that I can identify are commitment and good sportsmanship. If you commit to play for a team, then that means that you need to be available for all practices and games. Now if it’s a summer sport, everyone realizes that people go on summer vacations so missing one or two weeks is understandable. Other than that, though, it’s a commitment and if you aren’t able or willing to make it, then find an individual sport to play. Being a good sport is important in every type of activity but in sports, it is sometimes even more important simply because kids often take sports so seriously. We always taught our teams to be both gracious winners and gracious losers. At those end of game handshakes with the other team, be a good sport regardless of who won the game.</p>