@ucbalumnus I don’t want to get too personal on this issue, but let’s just say, it’s been a hot area of contention for years now. We have fought about this frequently for years, and really, the only weapons I have on the table left at this point are either claiming all of my income is mine only and she can’t have a say, or, divorce. I can only ridicule, or plead, or yell so much, at some point, she has to be willing to do it. I have told her a few times, not really joking, that she will get her act together - but only after I die. Right now she is very comfortable letting me pull the plow alone, and has zero confidence in herself (liberal arts degree and no work experience), and is afraid of trying. To someone like me, I can’t understand it - and I am presuming most people who take the initiative to be on this forum also wont understand someone who can’t seem to take any initiative. What irks me is that she works hard, where she works, for peanuts, not realizing with a little ambition, she can make much more for the same level of effort (or less).
And to be fair, she vetoed the college because she is convinced that #1, who has diagnosed SAD, is going to have a breakdown/panic attack (or 5) and she didn’t want her to be a full day of travel away. My wife actually doesn’t mind road trips, and has claimed that #2 and #3 she would be fine with them being further away, but not #1.