I am also a NY suburban mom and my kids were told that I could pay a SUNY tuition and that was it. If they wanted private or OOS, they had to get the scholarships or make up the difference. Everyone of my kids attended or is attending a SUNY. I saw no point to pay a premium for an OOS school when SUNY’s offer virtually everything.
Stony Brook, H’s alma mater, was rejected by all as none is particularly STEMMY (we are a humanities family) and because it is too close to home. New Paltz was rejected for the same reason. Bing was not an option, even if any of them had the scores and grades for it, as they all thought it and Buff were too big. Two went to Plattsburgh and another Fredonia. All were very happy with their choices. The other 2 attended the local CC but didn’t finish. It was their choice, they are my homebodies.
I think that we who live in NY are lucky to have SUNY and CUNY (of which I am a grad) as options. When my S17 graduated last year, I saw kids with similar grades and scores going to OOS schools like Indiana, Maryland and Delaware and the major difference is those kids families were able to pay the freight and I won’t.