<p>S–Rural school, no car. must’ve spent $50 his entire freshman year. Not having a credit/debit card was also a factor. . .
D–Big city school with a car. Spent $100+ a MONTH first semester (lives in dorm, has meal plan). It is her $$ from working during high school, but I think that is excessive. Even though she has to pay for gas and sports fees–she doesn’t need to eat out, buy clothes, etc. Too easy to drain the checking account with a debit card. (I think hanging out with “wealthier” kids who think nothing of dropping $20+ is a factor, too.)</p>
<p>I was a poor dining hall worker at a rural school back in the day. I didn’t spend a cent when I was on campus, and signed my checks over to the college to pay tuition. I can’t believe that my D is so “free spending!” (H says I’m just jealous. . .)</p>
<p>IMO $200/mo is generous, and if that is what you want to do, that is reasonable. I’d want some sort of proof that she “needs” more than that.</p>
<p>I have NEVER given my daughter any sort of allowance and she is in NYC. One advantage of life on an urban campus is that there are more opportunities for employment than with a rural campus.</p>
<p>Our son gets room and board and cell phone family plan from us. The rest comes from his earnings. He makes enough in the summer that he doesn’t need to work during the year. $200 a month sounds like plenty to me, though I can imagine it would be easy to spend more than that. (Clubs, nice restaurants…)</p>
<p>I am another one who didn’t have much money when in college (same with my DW).</p>
<p>Looking back on it, I know that I missed alot of things. If a band was coming to campus and it was a few biucks (back in the day), I wouldn’t go. Little did I realize that the school was subsidizing all these activities heavily and once I got out of school these concerts would cost 5 or 10 times as much.</p>
<p>When we were visiting our S’s school, we saw that they were having a formal spring dinner coming up (the pictures of last year’s looked like a wedding reception - it was real nice). It was $35 a person. I knew that I would have never gone to something like this when I was at school.</p>
<p>My DW and I discussed it and decided to give my son a monthly allowance, so he could do things that we could not do. We discussed it with him to. Luckily, he is good with money and I do not have to worry about him being reckless with it.</p>
<p>(When I mentioned it to my parents in the course of conversation, they said, “But we never gave you an allowance in college.” - which they couldn’t have afforded anyway. I think they felt bad. Oops.)</p>
<p>Not saying what we are doing is right - just what we decided to do.</p>
<p>I give NYC D a semester allowance which has to cover many essentials (clothes, toiletries, miscellaneous) extra meals since she’s on a limited plan, yoga and other pleasure money. She has found a part-time to expand to her budget. I do it this was so that she is making the choices on how to spend between pleasure/necessity and hopefully developing responsible habits. She actually is trying to save some of this money to use on travel in the summer.</p>
<p>~$300 a month goes nowhere in NYC. I probably shop at the same Trader Joe’s that your son shops at and I spend $50-$60 on an average shopping trip (it’ll easily become that or a lot more if he buys a lot of meat-and if he has groceries delivered to Chinatown or elsewhere, that’s another $15. Thankfully I live in Union Square so delivery is not necessary). And that doesn’t include all the little things I pick up at Whole Paycheck or elsewhere. I didn’t feel like standing in line for an hour to pick up cereal, so I went to a gristedes to pick up rice krispies. BIG mistake. I paid $6.20 for it. And that’s for one of those regular size boxes.</p>
<p>I can tell you with certainty that he’s not eating beluga caviar and filet mignon every day unless there’s a secret Trader Joe’s where things cost half as much as they do at TJs in Union Square. I can also tell you with certainty that most of my friends spend more than that on food-there’s one that doesn’t but she just learned how to boil water at 20 years old.</p>
<p>We do not give our S an allowance. We can’t afford it, but I’m not sure I would even if we could. He has money that he was given by family and others, and a very modest amount that we put in trust for him. From those funds, he has to contribute to his tuition/R&B and provide his own spending money. If he doesn’t work to supplement it and it runs out, he’ll have to take our loans. </p>
<p>He never had a job in HS for various–mostly good-- reasons, and did not get one freshman year. He did manage to get some work during the summer, and now has an on-campus job. He is not a big spender, and has never asked for much. I am pleased that he is now working and that he seems to be gradually developing and maturing in that area.</p>
<p>When we considered schools in NYC, I pointed out to him that it would be VERY expensive to live there. Those of you who live in Greenwich Village might want to look into taking the PATH to NJ and shopping for food there. People used to do that, back in the day. If you are living in an apartment and buying most or all of your own food, you might want to get a grocery cart with wheels, or a “baggler.” The baggler is a neat little device that enables one to easily carry multiple grocer bags in one hand. Get two.</p>
<p>$50 per week in the city might not go very far if you consider cab rides and clubbing (if she does that). I would want my D taking a cab at night if she was out and about. OTOH, should the parent be footing the bill for cabs and clubbing (if that is what she is doing?)</p>
<p>I pay my kid’s tuition, room, and board. (Almost $50,000.) He can pay for everything else. That’s why they invented part-time jobs! IMHO, they can’t grow up if they are dependent on you for everything.</p>
<p>I live in NYC as well, but I think $300/month for groceries for a student is unnecessary. It is possible to save in Manhattan, if you’re interested in doing so. I don’t think Trader Joes or Whole Foods is a necessity – everything is marked up there compared to the ‘regular’ grocery stores because there is such demand for them in NYC. Even if someone wants to go to TJs for fresh food, it is possible to save on things like cereal, snacks etc. by ordering from freshdirect or buying from some of the CVS or Duane Reades which have a significant food section and sell at prices that are comparable nationally for things like cereal, snacks, soda etc. It takes effort but I don’t think everyone liking in NYC is paying $7 for a box of cereal.</p>
<p>I’ve seen the students from NYU, New School, etc who use Whole Foods as their “cafeteria”, and I’m always amazed. It is EXPENSIVE to eat there regularly! They pile it on at the buffet tables, and it easily comes to $10+ per “salad”. My H and I make our own lunches because we can’t see spending that kind of lunch money every day. There is no reason a college student should have that kind of luxury!!</p>
<p>I think the decision as to whether or not to give a kid an allowance is a personal choice, but I do want to note that my d., who attends school in NYC, has done all sorts of things, including many that are quite expensive. (She went to a concert with some sort of after-party on a boat with very pricey tickets earlier this year, for example). She has also traveled extensively throughout Europe, asia & the middle east while in school, and she has taken unfunded internships during summers. </p>
<p>She seems to have a habit of working very hard in order to meet personal fundraising goals and then spending her money on nice adventures or events for herself. That’s somewhat different than my son who has built himself up a nice nest egg and has always been careful about how he spends his money – but the point is that it is very possible for a kid on a tight budget in an urban area to participate in expensive activities. </p>
<p>One thing my daughter gains from all of this is freedom. I would see a lot of her spending as extravagant and I can imagine all sorts of tension between us if she was living off of what I sent her – but as it is, it is her money. So I’m envious of her travels, but not angry. She does have a credit card, so sometimes she is working off her debt at the tail end rather than working to raise money up front – but there’s a lesson in that to be learned as well. </p>
<p>The other thing she and my son gained was a strong record of work experience and skills, which I think will serve her well as she looks for post-college employment – and which I know enabled my son to get a good paying job immediately on finishing college. My d. recently commented that she was applying for a job which seemed to be outside her field of experience, but was surprised when preparing the resume for the application to realize how many of her previous jobs had required the development of skills that fit the job she was applying for. </p>
<p>I look at college as a time when the student can be transitioning gradually from being totally dependent on parental support toward being totally independent. I think that my d. is fortunate that she had my support for the tuition & housing part of college bill – and I can see how it would be very tough for a kid paying their own way for everything to have much of a chance to explore and experience while in college. But I don’t think its an undue burden to expect the kid to carry some weight along the way.</p>
<p>Besides help with tutition and necessities, I receive $0. I think $200 is very, very generous. I think $50 is very generous. Since high school, I have been paying for all the things that I wanted. If I didn’t have the money, I didn’t get it. I would love to go on vacations every summer and spring break like a lot of people I know and read on here, but I financially can’t afford it. Do I wish my parents would give me $2,400 every year? Sure, that would certaintly help me out and I would be able to do more things. But in the end, I guess the things that I buy for myself and the events that I attend mean more to me because I work for my own money.</p>
<p>You guys give your kids allowances in college?! My parents gave me $100 for Christmas and my birthday (close together so one present) and said happy trails! </p>
<p>I also pay what little my scholarship doesn’t cover (basically books and personal expenses- gas, food, etc). I also work three jobs so that I can have my own money. </p>
<p>No one needs to spend $50 a week on personal expenses in college. No one. You need to go shopping? Jeans at Kohl’s cost $10 and they can last you years (I have three pairs of pants since sophomore year that still work splendidly and I have shorts and shirts from 7th grade). Realistically, someone needs around 5 pairs of jeans at the most, maybe 10 shirts, and a few sweatshirts. Buying clothes all the time is not necessary. Eating out all the time is not necessary. Going to movies, clubs, concerts, etc- completely unnecessary especially on your parent’s dime!</p>
<p>I would cry for joy if my parents gave me $50 a month let alone a week. NO college student needs that much money, sorry. There are plenty of FREE things to do around/off campus and if your D wants that money then she is more than welcome to get a job. Sorry to sound harsh, but that’s the truth.</p>
<p>ETA: I should say that in the no one needs more than $50 I am of course not referring to people with medical conditions, etc that require necessary money. (I say this because I just had a thought about one of my dormmates who is diabetic and requires special diets and medical equipment and I didn’t want anyone to be offended if this was like their child.)</p>
<p>I couldn’t agree more. I still wear a lot of clothes that I wore in high school. I can’t remember the last time I bought a pair of pants. I wouldn’t even know what to spend $50 a week on. I spend money here and there and splurge on concert tickets a couple of times a year. Maybe a DVD or CD here and there, but that is it.</p>
<p>I’d note that I DO give my kids cash gifts from time to time. Sometimes for appropriate occasions, like birthdays – sometimes just to be nice. And I sometimes buy them gifts, particularly things like small household appliances that will help save money on food (such as a rice cooker or coffee press). </p>
<p>As the posts by red963 and romanigypsyeyes indicate, my kids have been very appreciative of every such gift, no matter how small. So in the end, my kids DO get some money from me – just not on a regular basis. The result is that THEY are happier because the money is a pleasant and much-appreciated surprise each time, and I am happier because I feel that my gifts are valued. Instead of feeling frustrated or resentful, I feel good when I can give little gifts here and there, or bigger ones when the situation warrants it, such as a 21st birthday, or a housewarming gift when the student moves into a new apartment.</p>
<p>^ I agree with you calmom. If a parent can give random gifts then that is wonderful and I’m sure your kids love the welcome surprises :D. However, to expect more than $50 a week is wrong IMO.</p>
<p>I live in NYC. I still wear some clothes that I had from 7th grade (a good hat or jacket won’t undergo a drastic transformation over a couple of years). Food IS expensive, especially if you’re coming back home after a long day and don’t feel like cooking… But many grocery stores (like Associated) have good sales every week. You just have to pick up one of those little newspapers they print for your convenience. If pasta/cereal/butter/etc are on sale, it’s a good idea to stock up. I never buy napkins. I usually just take a whole bunch at some fast food joint when I do go there. I’ve used to shop in Brooklyn and drag all the bags back home, but that’s a 3 hour Saturday trip that I’m no longer willing to take… Entertainment doesn’t have to be expensive. Some off-Broadway theatres have very good student seat discounts. The Met Opera has “standing seats.” Even some movie theatres give you student discounts, but they’re usually the artsy types (yay!). The suggested student fee at the Met is $10 (unless you’re at Barnard, Columbia/a few others), but you can easily pick up a “lost” pin somewhere near the museum building. ;)</p>
<p>What sucks is that others seem to have the money and appearance matters a lot in New York…</p>
If pasta/cereal/butter/etc are on sale, it’s a good idea to stock up. I never buy napkins. I usually just take a whole bunch at some fast food joint when I do go there.