I always ask my S. He’s taken my old vacuum when I replaced it and the rug that was in his room before I redid it.
I’m certainly not ready to give him and not known at the moment future wife my china, crystal or silver and I still use them on occasion.
anything I want to get rid of I will give him first dibs on else it’s getting donated or tossed.
His stuff that he left behind when he went to college I tossed without asking.
Also before you toss stuff, take pictures. My husband didn’t really want all the little knick knacks that my FIL had kept on his desk, but they were sentimental. So I convinced him to take pictures to keep the memories - that worked for him.
I’m still mind boggled by the amount of stuff DH did bring back to our house (rented an SUV three times to bring stuff from Connecticut to Illinois) but fortunately not the china. When we were sitting shiva for MIL at the house, her gerontologist (who had a close relationship with her) started enthusing over a huge antique baroque style mirror in the dining room. “You have to take it - it was her mother’s”. I politely said we had no place for it and it didn’t go with our house." She then tried to talk DH into it. I was so mad. If we had taken everything that was from prior generations, it would have been a disaster.
Fortunately my mother put her money into mutual funds instead of collectibles. Much of her decor was cruise trip souvenirs so they were easy to toss. My brother and I were able to amicably divide up the family mementos and heirlooms. He lived nearby so chose to take some stuff that neither of us really wanted but he didn’t want to see leave the family just yet. (He had to find room to store it - his house was full of stuff SIL had taken when her mother died and father moved). Then we gave the grandchildren the chance to take what they wanted.
We used a service to help clear out Mom’s condo and very little was worth any money. We did take the silver and unwanted gold jewelry to a reputable place and got a very nice check based on weight.
“I am sure my married kid would have turned down the china if they had had any everyday dishes at the time, but they didn’t. I agreed to keep my mouth shut about the china going into the dishwasher. Thus far, it has survived. (No gold or silver band on this particular pattern.) I figure that if gets used, my mom would be happy.”
My china has a large gold band. Use it 4-5 times a year for 22 years and has gone thru dishwasher each time. No issue whatsoever. I refuse to make life hard.
Just don’t put the Thanksgiving leftovers on a plate with that gold band in the microwave. Makes quite the noise.
I put my china with a gold band in the dishwasher.
My mom gave her granddaughter her china and she loves to use it on occasion. They also have an every day plain white set as her H is a chef and chef only like to serve their food on white plates.
To me the problem will come when my mom gives me all her “pretties” and then expects these items to be displayed and/or used when she comes to visit.
My Lenox China goes in the dishwasher. Really, I don’t care if the gold wears off because it’s not like anyone is going to want it anyway.
I also have Franciscan Apple…and I put it in the dishwasher too.
My everyday dishes were my mom’s “good” Royal Doulton porcelain dinnerwear. It’s plain white…and seemingly indestructible! We were using pzaltzgraft that had chips on every piece. Tossed it on the trash and started using the Royal Doulton about 12 years ago. Good stuff!
I want to sell the orrefors crystal we have on eBay, but my husband says we need to wait until his mother (whomgave it to us) dies. It’s 36 years old and most of it has never been used.
I have orrefors and use it frequently. Just used it Tuesday at my election eve dinner party. The only problem is it’s so fragile.
I’ll send you mine. Mine is a very plain Danish modern pattern. I really don’t like it. Neither of my kids like it. If I had wanted crystal, I would have chosen a cut glass pattern. My husband no I really didn’t want it…but we got it anyway.
Thank you but I have enough! Mine is very modern also but has verticals ridges. I let DH picked the crystal so he wouldn’t feel so left out. The other choice was a much sturdier cut glass Waterford, which was my preference. But, par for the course, he picked the other one.
They are very pretty, but so fragile. I am always afraid when washing then I’m going to knock then on the faucet - and I have a tall faucet and deep sink.
I want the address of that thrift shop with the Tiffany, Spode and Wedgwood going for a song!
It’s not only boomer parents who pass on a lot of stuff or have hoarding tendencies. It affects other generations as well such as an older college classmate’s mom who was of the silent generation(one before the boomers).
When I went down to assist an older college friend in wrapping up his late mother’s affairs and clean out their 4 story house, it was an ordeal as there was a hoarding issue and entire rooms/floors were filled from floor to ceiling with assorted stuff…including broken stuff most of us would toss out.
Was a struggle to complete the cleanout in 6 weeks…and that’s with me making 2 trips down with a friend’s wedding in the PNW in between. And that’s despite the fact the older college classmate and another classmate of ours already cleaned out 50% of the stuff before I arrived on my first trip there to pitch in.
Another friend from my Boston working days is still dealing with sorting out and selling/giving away/tossing stuff from his silent generation mother’s large Western Mass apartment nearly 3 years after she passed as his Boston apartment is barely a third of the size of her’s despite the fact she wasn’t a hoarder and everything was in order.
I tell you I had really good responses when I listed things for free on Craig’s List or offered them on Freecycle. People would come to YOU and pick the things up, even if they were heavy and just seemed like junk. Of course, there are always a few people who don’t show up but it generally works.
My kids want my jewelry and handbags. I have already started to give them some to wear, but not quite ready to part with my bags yet.
I have lots of jewelry. My grandfather and uncle were jewelers. My aunt (who had jewelry) died with no descendants so my sister and I each got half her stuff, plus half my mother’s stuff. (My mother had lots of jewelry.) And I got all my MIL’s stuff. (My MIL had lots of jewelry.) I have lots of jewelry.
I have a future DIL who says she doesn’t like jewelry. 
My jewelry tend to be very simple, without a lot of design - rings with few simple stones, stud earrings, pearl/diamond necklace/bracelet. If they ever become dated, my kids could just re-set the stones. I like simplicity of good quality stones rather than a lot of recognizable designs.
VeryHappy - I am sure my Ds would be very happy to be your surrogate DILs when it comes to jewelry.
When my parents sold their house and moved cross-country to retire, they stopped here on their road trip and deposited a fair number of “treasures,” the most memorable of which was about a dozen mismatched coffee mugs from the 1970s that were some of the most hideous things you’ve ever seen. I threw them out. My parents were really upset when they next visited…they actually wanted to “visit” and see their old coffee mugs and were astonished as to why I’d get rid of them. That’s just one example of many. Sorry, but my home is not meant to be a museum to your old life.
My mother in law has a house full of “treasures.” DH and I are kind of dreading having to go through it whenever she passes away. Some of MIL’s ‘valuables’ include items such as:
We’re going to have one epic garage sale when she passes away.
I have an older brother who is unmarried and without children. He owns just about every tool known to mankind.
When it comes time for him to downsize, or when he passes, there is going to be a mountain of things to go through.
He cannot throw anything “valuable” away. Or something that “he might use or need” one day.
It motivates me to keep our possessions lean and mean. I’ve already done a lot of purging now that both kids are away at college.
@VeryHappy I like jewelry! Let’s talk!
Well, heck, @oldfort, after reading your posts the last few years I want your jewelry and handbags!