<p>Calmom…I agree it is a matter of attitude and it is also a matter of circumstance. D has the option of moving home for a while to save $ and earn some more in terms of salary while still living in a nearby suburb. I would rather she see this as a temporary situation and for her to know that when she moves out that she can truly support herself.</p>
<p>D has been to many of her friends apartments throughout the city and frankly has found some of them to be in truly unsafe neighborhoods. Many require long subway rides which her unescorted girl friends take at all hours of the night. Statistics aside, I know the city and would not want her in those circumstances. I would rather have her live at home and skip to the next step…living in a safe area that is well located. I am not talking about her emulating an upperclass lifestyle…just living a safe and comfortable lifestyle with money for a cabride home if necessary.</p>
<p>Luckily we are able to offer this option because we are New Yorkers. Most of her friends from home are planning to do the same and move back in with their parents. The others are having parents help out with rent or end up buying their children apartments. Most of the kids D knows who are living in fringe neighborhoods (in terms of safety and location) are from out of state and don’t have any other option if they want to pursue living in NYC. And their parents aren’t as familiar with the city and don’t quite understand the downside of their living arrangements. I grew up in Brooklyn and lived there when I was single. I am not adverse to her living in the boroughs as long as they are safe and offer a good commute. My husband and I know the city very well–not just Manhattan. There are “downscale” neighborhoods that are safe, and others that are not. My issue is that many kids are making unsafe decisions and their parents don’t know the difference. I have no problem with her living “modestly”…as a matter of fact I see no other option as it is my goal for her to support herself!</p>