<p>My point isn’t to criticize young people who choose to live at home if that is a reasonable option for them… it’s just there seems to be an “I can’t” attitude manifested by youngsters – coupled with parental ratification in the sense of branding normal and customary living arrangements for youngsters as too risky. </p>
<p>My daughter is 22 years old; I have faith in her ability to make appropriate decisions as to living arrangements. I don’t have to see or approve where she lives – and I certainly don’t have to or want to subsidize her through her adult live for my personal comfort level. There are recent college grads her age who have opted for the Peace Corps after college, or programs like Teach for America that sends young adults into inner cities to teach; and there are kids much younger who opted for the military – those are situations that are potentially far more risky. When my d. returned from Europe a year ago she needed a place to stay for several weeks before school started, and she ended up in east Harlem. She survived. She was there because in her mind it was “safer” than the place she had planned to stay originally, in Brooklyn. I put “safer” in quotes because it has nothing whatsoever to do with the quality of the neighborhood – it was a matter of the behavior of a roommate. She was uncomfortable sharing space with one particular person so she chose to move in with someone else instead. </p>
<p>The real question is… when do youngsters grow up and start taking responsibility for their own lives? And when do parents let go? </p>
<p>I know that parents who have achieved a higher, more comfortable standard of living for themselves want what they perceive as best for their kids — but my d’s observation has been that a lot of her elite college classmates are hampered by their own unreasonable fears. They have been conditioned into believing that the world is a far more dangerous place than it really is, and at the same time they haven’t accumulated the day-to-day street smarts and common sense that make them less likely to be victimized.</p>