<p>Researchmaven… I think we are on the same page. I do not expect my daughter to only want a prime, expensive Manhattan apartment as her only option. Hell, I work hard and my husband makes a decent living and I am still waiting for one of those. As I said, I grew up and eventually had my first apartment in a safe but thoroughly uncool neighborhood in Bklyn. The subways were good and yes, I also spent money on cabs home at certain times of the night. </p>
<p>But it is not a matter of “learning street smarts”. Sometimes “street smarts” is understanding what is a safe neighborhood and what is not. As a born and raised NYer (third generation) I do not live in fear at all. But I know how to access situations reasonably and cannot say all situations are safe because it is not cool or politically correct to not want to live or commute from certain parts of the city.</p>
<p>Since my point is that I think my D has to be making X number of dollars in order to afford a safe apartment, I will offer her a home a commutable distance from NYC until she is earning enough money. If she is lucky to make enough with her first job, then I will NOT hold her back. But I think with a salary between $30-$40K her options will be limited. I still also feel that if you need to sink every dime into rent, you are putting yourself in a precarious position and may not enjoy city life because of your inordinate rent obligation. That is a decision D will have to make for herself. It is not a matter of letting go. It is a matter of her making a wise decision based on what kind of lifestyle SHE wants. We are not talking about fear, we are talking about choice.</p>