Holy Cross sounds like a really religious school lol. She is very much not religious but is not opposed to schools with a religious affiliation. I’ll have her take a look at those!
Today she’s enthusiastic about looking, so I’m running with it. Because tomorrow she might be burnt out from looking and we can’t talk about it for a few weeks lol
Thanks- it’s a frustrating process at times.
I always find it interesting when schools say that they meet full need but who determines what the need is?! Like of the schools that meet full need, there is a pretty wide range of how much they expect us to be able to spend. Anywhere from 20,000 to 45,000. And if they count home equity, it starts to get even wackier. Like OK, I’m not going to sell my house to put my kid through college, and I can’t afford a home equity loan in that amount at least if I expect to retire someday.
Sorry, derailing my own thread. I want to find the magical unicorn school where my daughter will be challenged and happy at a price that isn’t going to make her regret her education for the rest of her life. Is that so much to ask? 
The catholic schools do humanities/liberal arts really, really well. And take a look at the options for specific, religious courses- drawing from literature and faiths all over the world. Not for everyone, but a very solid and intellectual environment. If it had a different name and was closer to Boston its admissions rate would be half of what it is now.
Totally agree with your strategy to strike while the iron is hot! Kids interest in discussing college with parents seems to wax and wane with the moon…
She had expressed interest, we did some heavy research, and she slept on it for about a week and decided that the intensity is just not something for her. She’s got the academics and she’s physically fit, but the idea of being yelled at has her scared lol. I think it takes a special kind of personality to get through those schools successfully and she maybe just doesn’t have the grit that it takes.
To say I was disappointed is an understatement. My husband continues to hold out hope that she’ll change her mind, but I had to remind him that the kids who get into and succeed in those schools have been wanting that type of environment for years. It’s not just on a whim.
The military academies are not something to take on lightly. It is a definite commitment. So is enlisting in any part of the military. But here are some FAQs that she may want to read about joining the National Guard:
https://www.nationalguard.mil/About-the-Guard/Army-National-Guard/FAQ/
Can I go to college and be in the Guard
Absolutely. Your Guard service is only part time - typically one weekend per month, and one two-week period each year. Plus, the Guard can help you pay for college or prepare to become an officer.
Thank you! I’m going to send it to her and see her reaction. My husband was in the military and so was her grandfather and her other grandfather and a whole bunch of uncles, but none of them were women. I was she would be the first.
Yes and No.
Unfortunately, no one knows where they will be challenged - even at some “top” schools kids say they aren’t challenged while at less prestigious they are - and while we try to find the right school, there’s just no way to predict happiness. That’s why so many go through this crazy search and then in a year, they want out. Bad roomies, profs, food - whatever.
There are schools that hit the price point but then you also want to be close.
For example, the NC Promise schools - W Carolina, UNC Pembroke will all be under $20K.
Central Michigan is $27.3K but with no test score is $6K off at your GPA and have a test score, up to $8500.
But these are more rural and not close to home.
But there are options - not sure you can afford $20K or not - but there are options, as well as UMaine Farmington.
But you are right, all these schools define differently. Even a school that says - free tuition $200K or less in earnings - always puts an asset clause in there.
That you started your first thread with Wellesley costing too much - was likely emblematic of what you’ll see at others.
But I don’t doubt there are schools out there that will challenge your student and that will give her a great experience.
I note in the US system, that is supposed to be one your state’s public universities. No real magic, of course, you are just benefiting from special subsidies for state residents. And you may have to hustle a bit to get the education you really want, making good choices about majors and electives and so on. But when it works, it works pretty well.
The problem, of course, is some states are a lot more dedicated to this goal than others. So resident costs for the same type of school can vary a lot per state, some states do not have accessible universities everywhere in the state they are needed, and so on.
Reading through your posts reminds me a lot of the journey I had with my older daughter…it is a lot to figure out and the path from beginning to end is often not at all a straight line. For that matter, who they are and what they think they want can change dramatically between submitting an application in October and submitting a deposit on May 1.
The one bit of advice that you will read a million times here, but that really truly is the golden egg needed to be successful in this journey is to help your daughter find a true safety (academic + financial) she could see herself being happy at. It doesn’t mean it needs to be her first (or second or third) choice, but just having that in her pocket will make the whole process less stomach-churning come next April.
Holy Cross is not religious type school. It’s Jesuit. Lots of atheists, agnostics and every denomination imaginable. Social justice bent student body and expectation of community service/service to others. Hard admit. Might get merit with high test scores. Otherwise a pricy, highly selective north east LAC.
I’m sure she has tons of grit. I think it takes maturity to recognize that certain places would fit her and others would not. The kids I know who thrived in the academies were just able to put their heads down and focus on the end game- being an officer in the armed services. Period, full stop. That’s what got them through what was not always the most pleasant way to get an education.
If a kid is NOT 100% focused on that as a goal, I think it could be quite a miserable experience. Not the being yelled at part-- but the “learning to be an officer” part.
I’m sure you guys can find an environment where her grit serves her in finding her OWN path if military isn’t what she wants!
Farther away schools are definitely not off the table, just really hard to get out there and to her and see if it’s something she would like.
We kind of have family all up and down the east coast, so I’m exploring some of those areas because it would be pretty easy to get out and visit them and tour school or two.
I’ll take a look at some of those suggestions and pass them along! She’s made a spreadsheet so that’s pretty promising
Yes! The safety thing. I had to explain to her that safety isn’t just a school she can get into but a school that we can afford.
I’m really, really hoping that mass College of liberal arts will check some boxes for her and that she could see herself there. We tour during April break and I’m hoping the weather is perfect and that everything goes smoothly because it is the one school outside of the state of Maine that I think we could afford without any difficulty because of a tuition break for Maine students.
May I suggest putting a finger on the scale since you are already planning to visit?
Have your D spend fifteen minutes with the course catalog, find a class that seems really cool to her, and then email admissions to ask if she could sit in, have ten minutes with the professor who teaches the class, or absent that, set up coffee with one of the students in the class?
Tours can be hit or miss. Weather is- well, you live in Maine, so I don’t need to tell you about April weather. There could be tape blocking off the prettiest path on campus because the maintenance team is fixing a cracked walkway. The tour guide could be distracted by a bad breakup, a parent with a bad medical diagnosis, or any number of things.
But get your kid in front of a fantastic class that no HS can teach-- kind of sells itself.
Fingers crossed!
Great idea from @Blossom, but I would suggest that instead of looking at the course catalog, perhaps looking at the schedule of classes? That way even if the class isn’t being taught on a day that you’re in town, it will at least have students currently in the class and it would be fresh in the professor’s mind?
When my daughter was looking at schools (and dreaming) she wanted ‘kind of small’ and not in Florida (where we lived) and oh, California would be nice (where we used to live). I just said okay, here’s the budget, go find a school. Hmm, California off the list but I didn’t take it off, she did. We went to a school fair and she talked to the rep from Wyoming (because no one else was talking to him and he had some nice swag). She visited in Jan after spending Christmas with family in Colorado and didn’t like it (I mean really, it was 10 below). Okay, keep looking. She couldn’t find anything else that had her major of choice (theater) at a reasonable cost. I didn’t say anything. Okay, she’d look at Wyoming again. We traveled out west and there were big (big) floods the day we were driving up so not looking good for UWY. What usually takes 2 hours took 6 because we had to keep turning around and going another way. She had appointments with two departments, creative writing and theater, and we were late but they were soooo nice to her they let her do them out of order. She wasn’t that impressed with creative writing but LOVED the theater department. The next day was an open house with tours and a football game (student tickets are included with student fees, so lots of students, lots of energy). She loved it and the rest is history. She changed majors to history and spent 7 years in Laramie getting a BA and an MA. It is a very affordable school, very affordable town to live in. There are others like Wyo, but she has to decide if she wants 1) to get out of Maine, 2) take out student loans, or 3) find a smaller, but cheaper, school that probably won’t be in NE.
Next week is the college fair at her school, I am encouraging her to visit every table for schools she doesn’t know about. Ignore the ones that she’s already toured although I’m sure she’ll be drawn to them.
I’m hoping she’ll find her unicorn.
Smart strategy.
My son loved planes. We learned at Embry Riddle that every time a plane takes off and lands, kids all look up. And while he didn’t like it, it made the visit list.
That’s what you need. Make sure she shares her passions so they can address, if possible.
Hopefully they have passionate folks manning the tables. That’s typically hit or miss. Some collect contact info and that’s it.