<p>I think the OP mom’s boundaries make sense (except I would probably expect to include a kid’s bf/gf on a dinner invitation, if I were visiting the college for the day, and I do expect to treat my kids’ friends when they are invited to accompany us on outings). I think the idea of not paying for kids to cohabit with bf/gf as undergrads is valid in all situations. The learning and the transcript are of primary concern those few years. Kids who are away at school will spend as much time with bf/gf as they see fit, but I think they should always have a room or apartment they can go back to, where relationships among the occupants are only platonic. If there should be a romantic disaster and they are officially cohabiting, it can wreak havoc with at least one semester’s worth of work. (Even greater havoc than a breakup otherwise might.) Somebody has to move, a lease may have to be broken, new accommodations found in the middle of the year, somebody may be left in the lurch financially, etc. Who needs that? As a parent, I don’t want to sponsor that possibility. Even if I like and approve of the bf/gf.</p>