<p>Jandjdad, I am so sorry for your loss. </p>
<p>As to what went wrong here - judging from the documents, the hospital tried to be extra nice to the family since they weren’t handling it well,so they gave them more days than the usual - and it just snowballed. One extra day turned into another … That’s why I say the road to hell paved with good intentions.</p>
<p>jandjdad - thank you so much for sharing your very moving story with the CC members. This must be a very difficult story for you to follow.</p>
<p>Jandjdad I am so very sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>I think what happened was that the family likely picked up on the judgment and disdain all along and got their back up. If public communication was bad, I would be surprised if private communication wasn’t the same.</p>
<p>jandjdad, my sincere condolences. Thank you for giving the gift of life to the people who desperately needed it.</p>
<p>Just so you know, Oakland is about as a diverse a community as you’re going to find, anywhere. And I don’t think the hospital PR guy is talking to patients. They are blunt now. I agree.</p>
<p>PR guys don’t speak without scripts and the hospital’s communication has been problematic since day one.</p>
<p>No, I get it, I just think it has to be a deliberate strategy to show frustration. As you say, they don’t speak without scripts and they are not stupid. I’m also curious.</p>
<p>jandjdad - I’m so sorry to hear about this, what an amazing thing to be able to do at the worst moment of your life. </p>
<p>If anything is learned by all of this - I really had no idea a tonsillectomy could be such a big deal! I had one as a baby, I think all of my sibs did. I knew they stopped doing them so routinely, I didn’t know why.</p>
<p>I felt badly for this family at first, now I feel worse for the staff and administrators of this hospital. This family seems awfully media savvy to me and something seems off about it.</p>
<p>To me, it seems like a fat, “low information” family is not doing what its betters consider appropriate and, therefore, must be put back in its place. Like I said earlier, I have seen that dynamic in terms of legal pro bono work so I don’t think it is all that uncommon. I am sure that tha the medical professionals had the best of intentions and that Jahi has been dead from day one, but think that when the family didnt act as expected, the hospital got angry, rather than understanding, and battle lines were drawn. People don’t often think of themselves as less and don’t act accordingly.</p>
<p>Well, minus the name calling I just want to point out that in Oakland they are pretty average people. Not unusual.</p>
<p>How many of the hospital personnel are actually from Oakland?</p>
<p>I have no idea. Sorry.</p>
<p>zoosersmom, I think we really don’t know exactly how the family was handled initially as the hospital can say only so much. They have said that medical personnel as well grief counselors and clergy have tried to assist the family from the beginning.</p>
<p>I didn’t expect you to know. I just think the population here is closer to the demographic of the hospital employees than the family. Judgment has been passed here on the mother for Jahi’s weight, her neglect of her other child and her ignorance. I would think that perspective wouldn’t be uncommon among other educated professionals.</p>
<p>Sevmom, as other posters have said, the communication. Was handled badly from early on. We do know that and we do know how the family reacted initially.</p>
<p>Jandjdad, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for sharing your story.</p>
<p>Dolan’s interview (in vballmom’s link in post #1057 above) left me speechless. He repeatedly referred to Jahi’s mother as a “realist” . . .</p>
<p>jandjdad - Thank you for posting . . . I am so sorry your family had to go through this.</p>
<p>Well, then , let’s just say then that “I” don’t know what was initially said by hospital staff, counselors or clergy, to the family. The PR stuff got going because of the family getting a lawyer involved.</p>
<p>I do think you are underestimating the Oakland population you seem to be talking about. Despite people’s differing education levels, I would guess that the vast majority of people do understand when numerous evaluations are telling them that their loved one is dead. This is pretty unusual for this level of disbelief to be going on for this amount of time.</p>
<p>dodgersmom this was the first time I’d actually seen and heard Chris Dolan, and I was left shaking my head as well. Also very disappointed that his interviewer didn’t press harder on the facts. Here’s the Merc’s latest report:</p>
<p>[Jahi</a> McMath: Attorney tells TV station child will be moved by deadline - San Jose Mercury News](<a href=“Jahi McMath: 13-year-old brain-dead Oakland girl moved by family from hospital – The Mercury News”>Jahi McMath: 13-year-old brain-dead Oakland girl moved by family from hospital – The Mercury News)</p>
<p>He family lawyer got involved because the family was legally entitled to have an impartial examiner appointed at that time. Exercising ones’s statutorily guaranteed rights is something that should always be respected.</p>