So here is one data point: one kid at one school. But I think it’s helpful and provides some context to the general topic.
S just finished his 2nd yr at Wake Forest. If you go by niche, greekrank, Princeton Review (the beer and hard liquor), and others, you’d get the impression that Wake is a southern, fratty, work hard / play hard, party central school. And in some respects it is. Meaning if that’s what you want your college experience to be, you can make that happen.
You can also be a very serious student who works around the clock, attends fascinating lectures given by many thought leaders on various subjects, develop your own start up company with funding and exposure from the university, view student led plays virtually every week, etc.
A student within each extreme, looking for their kind of fun would be equally happy. There are plenty of both at Wake and at most schools.
For most kids, certainly my S and his friends, they’ve found bliss somewhere in the middle. They are not greek but they have plenty of opportunities to party and they do. Not an extreme amount. Typically on weekends. Sometimes in small groups and others in much larger groups. They also attend tons of career focused info sessions, play intramural sports, attend Game of Thrones watch parties, go hiking, attend ACC sporting events, etc.
If we would have read and focused on the niche’s of the world, we might have not even suggested he look at Wake as he is not the frat boy, party 100 mph type, but rather fairly reserved, friendly, hardworking, etc. And that would have been a shame because he loves Wake Forest; has grown as a human, has tons of friends, will most likely get a great job, and get so much more exposure to things had he just stayed in his comfort zone (including his backyard).
It really is about finding your tribe and they’re on every campus.