<p>IthacaKid,
You just learned (via born2dance and megan) that not everyone who is the target of “friendly insults” enjoys receiving them. You say that “words are just words,” but they are more than that in the adult world. They become the basis for harassment lawsuits, defamation lawsuits, discrimination lawsuits, and more. It is best not to ever get into the habit of calling people names and putting people down, even if you think you are 100% sure that you know how they will take it. This is for your own protection.</p>
<p>Our son was bullied starting in fourth grade by a group of peers who moved along with him to middle school and would have moved with him to high school. The district here has an anti-bullying policy, but it was not very effective. We never got involved but tried to give DS the usual lame advice about ignoring the bullies, staying out of harms way, etc. Finally, in seventh grade, he took matters into his own hands and used his technology skills to fight back. He put many hours into a proposal that he presented to his principal on a series of videos that he would produce (he was a member of the broadcasting club and produced the schools morning show) depicting real scenarios that he and others he knew had experienced and offering suggestions to empower the victims. The principal thought it was a terrific idea and only asked to review his storyboards before production. Instead of focusing on the bullies, who he knew would never change, his videos dissected actual events and offered ways to better equip victims based on student and teacher input. He found many classmates and teachers who were willing to be actors and, once a week, he produced a segment exposing a real example of bullying that had happened at the school and what appropriate and creative responses would be with students/teachers re-enacting the original event and then role-playing alternative behaviors and discussing feelings and effects. Key was asking the student body to identify any and all examples of bullying they witnessed as fodder for an upcoming segment. He was allowed to carry a small video camera with him at all times to capture any comments, suggestions, and stories students cared to relay as they passed or approached him during the day. Pretty soon, the student-driven anti-bullying campaign was fully established, and the bullies knew that anything they did would show up on film shortlyand they knew who they were. The morale boost and sense of empowerment this program produced among the students was phenomenal. Without naming the actual victims or bullies, the segments gave victims an outlet to showcase what was happening to them almost as it was happening, and it provided a forum for exposure and discussion. And, the bullies stayed far away from the kid with the camera. ;)</p>
<p>Our son now boards at a New England prep school for high school (far from home), so he is no longer moving up in this toxic environment, but we are proud that he left a legacy for the students coming up behind him who have continued this program. Im not saying that this approach would work anywhere, would be embraced by every principal, or would address/resolve all issues, and I know that not all schools have the infrastructure to support this type of program. I simply share it as one example of a kid fighting back with the tools at hand and actually making some progress.</p>
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<p>ChoatieMom, that’s a really wonderful thing your DS did, and you should be very proud of him. </p>
<p>And OP, read ChoatieMom’s post carefully – how her DS decided to do something about it, how he worked with school administration, got lots of people involved, and focused on empowering victims. In fact, this is a fantastic example of what I mentioned upthread: changing the culture. That’s exactly what he did – he made bullying uncool.</p>
<p>IthacaKid - you’re an insensitive idiot. My S is 11 years old and very sensitive. He doesn’t know who he is yet, and he isn’t sure enough of himself yet to fight back or know that these kids are “just kidding”. So being put down in school everyday is very detrimental to his self-esteem. He’s not a wimp. He’s a sensitive, kind little boy who takes every insult personally. I always tell him that their behavior says more about them than it does about him, but it’s still hard to listen to put-downs everyday, especially when you’re unsure about how you feel about yourself yet. He knows that they’re not just picking on him - they do the same thing to everyone, but it doesn’t hurt any less.</p>
<p>LasMa - it’s a private school, so there’s no district to go to. Luckily he only has a few more months there before he graduates.</p>