<p>FYI, the parents are on the Today show this morning …</p>
<p>I think and hope that as a society we are becoming less inclined to look the other way when bullying occurs. NYT also had an article this week on workplace bullying- now we know what happens to these kids when they aren’t stopped. Nice piece on GMA as well on workplace bullying. I have the good fortune of working in that type of environment (ha) and if we as adults feel powerless to stand up to bullies for whatever reason, what can we do to encourage our kids to stand up and defend themselves and others?</p>
<p>This story made me sick. No one should have to tolerate such abuse in school, or anywhere for that matter. Think of all the kids who are bullied and then face lifelong struggles with PTSD and/or clinical depression. And then have to face workplace bullying. Something is very, very wrong with American culture.</p>
<p>Our local paper (Fayetteville) had a story about this yesterday. It actually is an excellent school district–one of the best in the state (I’m not in this district, BTW). The school district claims it has taken appropriate action after each incident, the parents say nothing was done. So far the parents have filed suit against particular bullies, not the district. The kid’s lawyer said the bullying has stopped as a result of local publicity.</p>
<p>There is a small charter school in this district, as well as a couple private schools and homeschool co-ops. I don’t know why the parents didn’t change schools or homeschool years ago if they really wanted to protect their son. There’s no excuse for bullies, but if there is a gang of them, and your kid has become a “target”–it is going to be pretty hard to get rid of the whole gang or “un-target” your kid. Sometimes the best answer is to move your kid to a new situation where he can start over. I wouldn’t want my kid living in fear and anxiety.</p>
<p>^ Agree -will say it again, the mom struck me as lusting a bit too much for the pubicity on all this. Something was off.</p>
<p>I have to agree a bit with that sentiment. I mean, really, who documents her son’s injuries to the tune of binders and binders of material and doesn’t take the simpler and more effective step of changing schools?</p>
<p>And the next kid these people target? Should he/she change schools as well?</p>
<p>Oh don’t get all sanctimonious on me. This is pragmatism. The woman’s got BINDERS of documentation and still little has changed. There’s a point at which you cut your losses, say “we’re not getting the help we need” and leave. Or, you could stay on the high horse and stay for principle. Tell me which one works for you.</p>
<p>i’ve only been bullied a little bit–it was more like a couple older seniors decided to pick on a little sophomore by making unwanted sexual advances (we’re all straight guys). it’s appalling that the administration did nothing to help the kid or stop the bullies, since violence was obviously involved. </p>
<p>i could understand if there had been no violence, because there’s really nothing you can do if it’s just taunting. at most the teacher will go ‘quit harassing him’ or ‘sit back in your own seat’, etc., then turn away and forget it ever happened. the kid himself also can’t do anything till it turns to violence either, because you’re a wimp if you don’t report it, but you’re a narc if you do. you don’t gain any social relief, which is why kids don’t report bullying. of course, as noted by many others, violence gets you suspended unless the parents get involved. there’s really no way out of bullying until it turns violent. that’s what schools should address. i’ll get down from my soapbox now.</p>
<p>1in42–I might not agree with their path, but I don’t begin to know I that I can subscribe it to base motives. They may really believe they need to teach their kid that they need to stand and fight; they may really believe that changing the status quo for all kids is a fight that he will benefit from, that they have a duty to take on.</p>
<p>I might do differently–I think I would have. But I know, I know, that I don’t know their motives and have no moral basis for ascribing them to selfish ones.</p>
<p>Wow. Just wow. I suppose you’ll have a description for that too.</p>
<p>my stepdaughter suffers from what I would describe as psychological bullying
she is intentionally excluded from social events that are planned by her classmates and teammates of the various sports she participates in. She has some learning difficulties and issues, but she is very good at sports.
She lives with her mother , who is a socially awkward person that tries to force her daughter to be with the " popular kids ’
Those kids don’t usually want to be with her and in the middle school yrs, their parents sort of forced them to attend her birthday parties…when they are not being monitered by their parents, they can be cruel to her.
It is a very uncomfortable situation for us, as the non-custodial parents
( who the mother has animosity towards )… she tries to take cues from her step sisters, but that is not often well received by her mother, even though they are well rounded and have had no such problems. They want to help her and so do we, but it is hard to do.
Sometimes, even if there are no physical blows and punches being thrown, the pain is just as intense being excluded and teased.</p>
<p>garland: I agree, I don’t think this woman is doing anything for any motives other than care for her son. My take on this is that this woman is suffering from the “foot-in-the-door” effect. What I mean by that is each incrementally worse bullying is treated as less remarkable by her because it is incremental. I suspect if you told her 5 years ago that her son would be beaten 50 times, some seriously, and constantly treated horrible over the next 5 years, she would immediately balk and leave. But because the bullying gets steadily and incrementally worse, she probably isn’t psychologically as taken aback. (This effect was shown in the Stanford prison experiment, the Milgram experiment, and so forth)</p>
<p>I think she’s trying to do what’s best for her son. I’m not sure she’s succeeding.</p>