Buying your kid a car

Parent Cafe
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Similar to what others have said on here, we differentiate between “fun stuff” and “tools”. When our children need tools for their safety, health, or education, we find a way to get them. When it comes to fun stuff, that is dependent on the situation and on finances.</p>

<p>As an example, our oldest daughter wanted a cell phone for about a year before she got one - we got it for her when she began walking home from school, but because it was a tool and not a toy it lacked some of the features she was looking for. Not malevolently, but because they were substantially more expensive and not really necessary. She knows that for her next phone she can either spend some of her own money or ask for birthday/Christmas contributions toward it. I expect the same rules will apply when they turn 16 - if a car is a needed tool for their work or education, then we will get them a car, but any “fun” car expenditures will be dependent upon our resources and the timing, or otherwise up to them.</p>

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The world is a tremendously unfair place, so you might as well get used to this. My wife is a wonderful woman, her parents could barely afford to send her to college much less buy a car. Paris Hilton is a horrible human being, can have anything she wants. Not fair.</p>

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<p>At the age of 21 I’m still yet to pass my driving test. The idea that my parents would buy me a car is laughable - not that I would actually want one right now as I find cycling far more convenient</p>

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<p>The kiddos inherited our 2002 Saturn when DH traded up 4 years ago. I think the trade in offer was $750, which wasn’t worth it when we knew we had two drivers coming up the pike. In a parking lot of Mercedes & brand new trucks, it’s certainly not sexy but it’s reliable and safe which is more than I can say for the first car I bought myself (a 1973 Cutlass S.) I remember pulling over on the side of 280 in East Orange so I could fully remove my muffler which was dragging. I don’t want my girls to have those kinds of stories to tell.</p>

<p>Like many have said, we have no public transportation options here in town. With both DH & I working full time, it’s a big help to ME for the kids to be able to get themselves where they need to be. This summer will be the first time that they’re both home AND driving. They’re going to have to figure out a car schedule.</p>

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<p>And some kids will not have to pay a cent for their college education, will live in fancy dorms or apartments, will have beautiful clothes they didn’t have to pay for, etc. And when you grow up, you will know other people who don’t work any harder than you do living in bigger houses, taking fabulous vacations, etc., etc., etc.</p>

<p>If you are “frustrated” at what other kids have been given, you are going to spend a great deal of time being frustrated in life. It doesn’t really matter what any of us do, it doesn’t really change your situation a bit. I’m glad to read you are not putting too much stock into this, but imo, any time spent thinking about the inequities in life regarding material goods is just wasted energy.</p>

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<p>My oldest played premier level baseball and had games and practices 5 days/week during the spring, often 50 miles away. We couldn’t wait to get another car so one of us would not have to drive him around.</p>

<p>1999 Saturn, standard transmission, no horsepower, no AC, purple with girly stickers all over it, $825 - son was not happy. Around here, some kids get a new car for their 15th birthday because that is when they can get a permit.</p>

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<p>My kids have access to a car when at home, but have to share it with others in the household. I have not bought, nor do I think I would buy, a car specifically for their use. However, we do plan to buy them cars when they graduate college – most likely a Prius or something similar. But til then - they will have to just share with the rest of the family as appropriate.</p>

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<p>Basic cell phones and prepaid service are not very expensive, so buying a cell phone as a tool rather than a toy should not cost very much.</p>

<p>Similarly, cars range all over the place in price, although the minimum cost for a car (and new teenage driver insurance) is a lot higher than for a cell phone.</p>

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<p>My sons would never have asked for a car, not in a million years. We have gotten by with the two we have. We have carpooled and finagled and negotiated in order to have everyone where they need to be, and if nothing else we are really good communicators! Our usual approach to purchases is to save the money, do the research, pay in cash; we all understand that if someone wants to buy A, someone else is going without B. </p>

<p>But if we’d had the money? No way I’m buying a 16 y.o. a car. Not even an old one. Life is not like that, and it’s a good place to start learning to earn what we own. Not to mention 16 y.o. are pretty much the definition of risk-takers, and giving them a car only exacerbates that tendancy. ymmv</p>

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<p>No one else has mentioned this, really, but we didn’t encourage out kids to get their licenses until they were 17. Would it have been more convenient for us as parents if they did? Sure. But even the difference between 16 & 17 is big in terms of safety in driving. Our kids both took driver’s ed at 17, and got their licenses near the start of their senior year. As greenbutton said, “16 y.o. are pretty much the definition of risk takers”. We decided it was better to wait until they had matured a bit more before adding cars into the mix. Neither one complained, and it worked well for us. I did want them to learn to drive and have a year or so of experience with it before leaving for college. But it didn’t seem worth the risk to start them at 16. Maybe because I remember what kind of driver I was at 16 :eek:. And also because the girl next door to me in high school was killed in an accident with her 16 year old friend driving… I know what can happen all too well.</p>

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<p>For us it’s not so much for convenience as the fact that D’s schedule often has us literally needing to be in two or more places at the same time. H dropped his PTO board position because he ended up missing so many meetings he felt it was unfair to continue. They were on the same night as one of D’s choirs. I am enrolled in a yoga class right now that meets on a night I am instead picking D up from her volunteer work.Some Saturday we spend the entire day driving her from one place to the next, while also needing to be somewhere for our own “to-do’s”. Next year when she will have to add a sports activity to satisfy the school’s PE requirement it will get even worse.</p>

<p>Right now she’s very responsible and I would have less of a problem with her driving that I would have if my two older kids drove at 16 (they did not). If she gave us any reason to be concerned with her being irresponsible, we’d reevaluate our plans to have her driving at 16. </p>

<p>At that age I was a good driver. My brother was not. My sister was fine unless it was a standard shift car. So the answer, as with everything is, “it depends”.</p>

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<p>We bought a third car when our oldest was a senior and taking all her classes at the community college. The next year, she went off to college and middle DD drove it to school/activities. When she went to college, the youngest drove it her last two years of high school. Then she went to the same college as middle DD and they had it there for a year. My oldest had it at grad school for a semester. Two are now overseas and the youngest has it at college; she will be a senior. It belongs to none of them; it is OUR car that we let them use.</p>

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<p>When I got my license at 16, my parents bought a second car, and I could use the previous car (4 years old at the time). It was still my parents’ car, but only one of them drives, so I was the only one that used it. I kept driving that car until a few months ago when I finally got a new one (certified pre-owned) in 2012.</p>

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<p>When D1 was in high school, we lived 10+ miles from her school. We used to drive her to and from school, so we knew we were going to get a third car as soon as she could drive. We also didn’t want her to drive an old car with possible mechanical problem. I was never one to give things away for free, so I worked out a deal with D1. If she could stay out of trouble (no alcohol, drugs, trouble with the law), then we would get a new car for her when she turned 17 (driving age). Once she got the car, she was to have us drive her to and from a party if she was going to drink. If she ever violated the agreement then she would lose her car. Our arrangement worked out very well for us, she loved her car and would do anything to keep it. D1 also then took the car to college with her. We paid for the insurance, repairs, and D1 paid for gas when she went off to college.</p>

<p>We moved overseas when D2 was in high school. She never really learned how to drive, even though she has an US driver’s license (long story). We have since moved back to the states, but we no longer need a car where we live. D2 probably won’t drive until she is a lot older.</p>

<p>D1 lives in the same city as now, and she has no desire to own a car. She is perfectly happy taking cabs and subway.</p>

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<p>I am a commuter, and I run through cars rapidly. We have 4 cars. One good, fairly new one that I commute in. Two old ones with over 125,000 miles on them, and another with 70,000 miles that I bought cheap from a family member. All the cars BELONG to me, but D2 and D3 have the privilege of the use of 2 of them. D1 has not been responsible, so she never got that privilege.</p>

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<p>CE527M: I think it depends far more on a family’s own finances than it does upon my own opinion. My parents could afford to give me the second-hand car (rather than driving it into the ground on their own or trading it in); other families simply cannot afford it.</p>

<p>As far as my opinion goes, I will say that I am a better driver for having driven an old, old car for many years. I seem to remember reading a study that confirmed this: many drivers use extra safety features (e.g. anti-lock brakes, traction control, four-wheel drive, etc.) to drive more recklessly, which basically means that more safety features = the same number of accidents. Drive a clunker, and you will learn how to drive, rather than learn how to let the car keep you safe from your own silliness.</p>

<p>I will also emphasise that most kids simply lack an understanding of how expensive cars are to own and maintain. They see the cost of a car and sort of assume that it’s the big part of it - “Oh, mom and dad can afford an extra $6k!” - but fail to understand how quickly other costs add up. A rough estimate of the yearly costs for a teenager to have a used car: $1,500 to $2,000 in insurance; $100 for excise tax; $50 in registration; $800 for one tune-up; perhaps another $100 for tires; $500 in gasoline; and $29 for inspection. You’ve yet to repair a single ding, replace a single punctured tire (I assumed that you would wear through them enough to warrant its own line item), pay a single speeding ticket and the associated insurance increases, or had to fix a muffler. Cars are huge money pits.</p>

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<p>First, I would like to say that when I was 16 I wanted a nice car and all my parents could afford to give me was an old Oldsmobile that was 20 years old and looked more like a batmobile than a car. I was so embarrassed to drive it that I got a job at 16 and made enough to pay a car payment that my parent co-signed for so I could have a modern car. That being said, I don’t think I appreciated the car more just because I had to pay for it!<br>
We bought our son a very nice car when he turned 16 because he had been a high achiever and worked hard his entire school career making good grades as well as making wise life choices. We had told him it was a reaping sowing principle and if he continued to work hard and make good choices ( which we see as his job) then he would be rewarded. We didn’t have the money and in fact he drives a much nicer car than his father.<br>
But we also told him these are the rules the car comes with…we will pay your insurance and all expenses including gas if you don’t get into any accidents that are your fault and no tickets that are your fault. If and when you do, then you get to pay for everything. Reaping sowing principle again. We also told him we would only buy him one car and if he chose to get the nice car in high school then it would need to last him until he gets out of graduate school. He is now 19 and just finished his third year of college and has had no tickets. He continues to work very hard in college and make great life choices so his reward continues. Financially, buying him a nice car was a huge sacrifice for us but well worth it for a great son!</p>

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<p>We bought both our S’s old trucks when they were in h.s. (a 1987 Ford Bronco II for S1 and a 1996 Toyota T100 for S2). They both loved their old junkers and enjoyed working on them. Both boys had afterschool jobs that required working 'til 10 p.m. some nights/played sports/took classes at the CC. They paid for their own gas, did their own oil changes and lots of other maintenance. We paid for insurance. We live in a suburb…no city buses. Having their own transportation was pretty much necessary.</p>

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<p>OP - in my family you got a job at 14 and bought your own car at 16 (or whenever you had enough money saved up). We each had to pay for gas, insurance, repairs, inspections, etc.</p>

<p>also, if you want to save some money you can learn how to do some car maintenance on your own. and keep in mind the prices for things vary from place to place. just to give you an example of what my costs were I’m copying aries note (which was great!)</p>

<p>"A rough estimate of the yearly costs for a teenager to have a used car: $700 in insurance; ; $35 in registration; $20 in oil changes every 3k miles, about $100 for one tune-up completed by self every 30k miles; another $80 per tire when they need replaced (approx 50k miles); $500 in gasoline (Varies based on your driving); and $50 ish for inspection if it takes nothing. You’ve yet to repair a single ding, replace a single punctured tire (generally speaking you can repair a punctured tire for less then 5 dollars on your own, unless the tire is completely ruined. I’ve had three nails through tires since I got my license and fixed them all.), pay a single speeding ticket and the associated insurance increases, or had to fix a muffler (my sisters fell off on the day she went to trade it in! lol!). Cars are huge money pits. I haven’t had any dings but my first car had quite a few things break on it that needed repaired by someone other then me.</p>

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<p>There is no one size fit all answer to this. I’ve seen parents buy their kids more than one car, as their kids go through them like cell phone, and yet I’ve seen kids hang onto their cell phones in a way that would make it a very cared for car. Sometimes a car is needed to carry out a goal. If you have a student who commutes to college, for instance, and also has a job, and transportation options are not so great, a car can become a necessity. Most colleges have rules against letting underclassmen even have cars on campus or they just make no stipulations or accommodations for cars at all except for commuters which can make owing a car extra work, expense and liability. </p>

<p>My alma mater basically has one lot for cars which is carefully monitored, and there is very little legal parking around the campus perimeter for several blocks. So unless you have stated and vetted business on campus, work there, commute there, you can’t park there. The closest places to stow a car are expensive if in a garage, or risky out on the streets. At some city schools, having a car is just a magnet for steel on steel bumpercars and is going to cost you that way. Or your car will inevitably be stolen or vandalized. So the school’s resources and policies, plus the neighborhood around the school are considerations to take seriously. More importantly is how responsible your kid is going to be with the danged thing. I know of many parents who had neck pains, as well as elsewhere, when their kids who they deemed were very responsible got into trouble with vehicles at school. Many times due to negligence about rules and care of the car, sometimes due to the stupidities that can be all the more dangerous when a car is involved.</p>

<p>My son was always very careful with his car at home. He paid for it himself, as well as the insurance on it, so when he wanted to take it to school, it was his call. I found out later that he let other kids borrow it. The thing now needs a couple of thousand dollars (it doesn’t take much to need that, by the way) of body work, not to mention a good tune up and care to be brought up to par for his job. He and his classmates abused that car terribly. I am ever so glad that it was not on our family insurance, something I refused to let him do, despite the fact it would have saved him a lot in costs. The way he took care of the car was not adequate at all, in my way of thinking and I was not willing to take the risks he was with that. </p>

<p>I also have one that I did not trust with a car, who has been driving everyone else’s care with no license. He’s lost his license at least 3 times that I know about, without ever getting it as he has no compunction driving other people’s cars, and he was doing that in high school . Parents who so trusted their kids with their Audis, Mercedes, BMWs, had no idea that my son was driving their cars because their stupid, oh so trusted kids, were letting him do so with full knowledge that he had no license. Yes, I actually caught him one time. So when I hear parents go on about how trustworthy and responsible their kids are, i just smile and nod. </p>

<p>Life in many ways is like a Chinese Auction, in that you put your chances in the bags out there and hope some of them are drawn and some of them are not. When you give a kid a car, you are putting a lot of tickets in some pretty nasty bags of possibilities as you give them the opportunities, conveniences that a car brings. A whole lot of tickets, so be aware that some of them are very likely to be drawn, in fact, nearly inevitable. Do go in this with your eyes wide open.</p>

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<p>We paid for half of a used car for S… we pay his insurance, and we fill up his tank every third time he needs to fill up (he negotiated that with a very well thought out and maturely presented argument). It was a great help for us for him to have his own car, as he’s a swimmer and between morning practices at school and evening practices at his club, it made MY life much easier for him to be able to transport himself. He also is expected to help me out when I need him to pick up his younger sister, run to the store, etc. He will NOT, however, be taking it for his freshman year at college which he’s fine with…</p>