California Couple Shackled and Malnourished Their 13 Children

Parent Cafe
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“They have been led to believe that escape is difficult or impossible, that attempts to escape will result in greater abuse, and that living independently of the abuser is impossible, whether or not these things are true or not.”

That keeps most but not all people captive–history is full of people escaping their oppressors.
In this case one kid went for help after years. She appeared 10 although she was 17. She was malnourished, just as abused as the rest (I assume). She didn’t know a different life–maybe she figured that out through friends.

Another sibling refused to accompany her (from what I read).
What personality streak made her follow through?
Totally a rhetorical question of course–but it’s the same one that I wonder when one person grows up to repeat the effects of a dysfunctional family and another in similar circustances vows to never repeat the cycle

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People hesitate to interfere in families. People recognize the right to raise your children your own way. There is nothing illegal about being eccentric or weird. I think that for most people it takes something pretty egregious to call in CPS or the police. People recognize the havoc that such an investigation can wreak on innocent families, or even slightly odd families where no real harm is being done.

I don’t think that it is a case of people realizing that harm was being done and “not wanting to get involved.” (And that whole myth surrounding the death of Kitty Genovese has been blown, btw.)

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News released reports Louise Turpin wanted more kids, racking up the numbers so they could have a family show like the Duggars.
Lunacy.

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One striking observation in discussions about this family is the absence of judging their values in context of their faith. If this were a Muslim or Sikh family, there would likely be raging debates about how “they” and “their values” are a threat to our way of life. By that logic, this Christian family’s values are also a threat to the American way of life. Should the Turpins be deported back to their family’s country of origin? Why is extreme Christianity given a pass (and - as is the case with the Duggars -
rewarded a reality show)?

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i whole-heartedly condemn their beliefs and think they’re vile, disgusting people. I think the Duggars are too and what they are doing is child abuse pure and simple.

But when I point out that this is condoned and encouraged by many Christian leaders (not necessarily mainstream ones, but since when do Americans care about whether something is fringe or mainstream as long as it involves non-Christians or Brown/Black people?), I get called anti-Christian on these boards. When I point out that what they’re doing is often Biblically condoned and even ordered, I get called anti-Christian.

I’m not anti-Christian. I’m anti-abuse. If abuse is part of your beliefs, then I’m anti-your beliefs. Religion and culture is NEVER EVER an excuse for abuse and/or neglect.

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There is a family on my street with a bunch of kids, maybe six, in which dad works from home, the family home schools and no one is ever seen outside—at least not during the daytime. They have been in their backyard late at night on a few occasions. The yard is neglected and an eye sore, much different from the other yards in my upscale neighborhood. The family belongs to some fundamentalist Christian group. The kids are pale and very thin, the parents are pale and doughy-looking. (I have seen the parents and some of the kids.)

I have always thought they were a strange family, but not a pathological one. I went over with brownies when they first moved in and they just weren’t that welcoming. They don’t help with the small things that neighbors do here, like picking up trash in the yard or relocating wrongly delivered mail or newspapers, some of that because they never go outside. I don’t think they are abusing their kids behind closed doors. I do think they are lazy and disorganized and rude. Maybe I should be worried they are neglecting their kids, too lazy to give them good educations, but I don’t know that.

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Maybe you should be. I have no idea.

Maybe go over with brownies again? Or some other excuse?? And if you don’t get a good vibe, yeah, report them, I suppose. Better safe than sorry?

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@PragmaticMom What branch of Christianity condones starving and chaining kids to their beds? I haven’t kept up with all the latest reports. Are these parents claiming that they were following their religious beliefs when they tortured their kids?

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I’m not sure that there was a religious component in this case. One or both of the parents seem to have come from a a Pentecostal background, and may have accounted for some of their behaviors to family members by citing religion. But as far as I’ve heard, the Turpins didn’t attend church, and the parents had repeated vow renewal ceremonies in an Elvis chapel in Vegas. That doesn’t scream old-time religion to me.

I’ve been following this case on another site, and I think we have to take what some of the extended family members are saying with a grain of salt. There’s a sister who seems to be particularly prone to embellishment. The police said they haven’t seen indication of a religious motivation yet, and I’m inclined to believe them. This behavior is so whacked out and sadistic that it defies explanation.

One thing that is heartening is the outpouring of donations that have come in for the children – last I heard, it was 60000K plus clothing, books, games, etc. I hope that they’ll be able to recover enough to develop some kind of normal life.

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@Lizardly, in the wake of this revelation I actually think a call to CPS or whatever they call it where you are is in order. It sounds like the same kind of scene.

Honestly, to me the fact that they are never seen outdoors during daylight is the thing that would worry me. If the family had a big bunch of home-schooled kids and was standoffish but the kids were regularly seen playing outdoors, I wouldn’t worry. Much.

@shuttlebus , as we all know, all kinds of whack jobs and cruel perverts have used their religion as a reason to control, torture, and abuse children and others. Alas.

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@Lizardly I would also ask CPS to do a welfare check. See if you can do it anonymously in your area. You would feel terrible if the kids are in the same situation and you did nothing for a few more years.

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All CPS agencies allow anonymous reports. If anyone suspects abuse or significant neglect issues, a report should be filed.

If these kids were in public schools, the staff there would be mandatory reporters in ALL states even for suspicion not proven abuse or neglect.

These kids don’t have that umbrella looking over them.

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Yes, when they first moved in I thought this is great: they have a big family and a big yard with a pool, sport court, pool house, big porch. I thought there would be all kinds of activity. Homeschoolers could be outside catching insects, climbing trees, doing experiments.

Nada.

And then to not even come outside and walk to the end of the driveway to pick up the newspaper…weird.

Cars do come and go, however, and lately there have been painters’ trucks. (I do wonder why one of those people doesn’t pick up the newspapers on the way to the door.)

I am going to ask around. Another neighbor once mentioned her daughter had played with a mystery family daughter. I’ll ask if that relationship continued. Maybe this mom has been in the house. Maybe she knows what’s up. This is the dilemma: these people are odd and keep to themselves, but are they abusers?

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The grandparents have said that the parents felt God called on them to keep having kids.

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@Lizardly, I think it would be a good idea to call your local equivalent of CPS. You could even say something like the following: “I wasn’t concerned about this before, but now that I’ve heard about the case in California, I am a little worried. Can you check on this family?”

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@3scoutsmom asks me

I’m not suggesting anything. I have no idea how well you treat your children. How could I? But here are my answers to some of your questions.

I don’t think homeschooling “causes” abuse. I do think abuse “causes” homeschooling. When people who abuse their children want to avoid discovery they “homeschool” them. And sometimes “homeschooling” in that situation means giving them no education and/or one limited to learning to read the bible. It is fact that among children who have been severely abused-- especially for a long period of time— a disproportionate percentage of cases involved “homeschoolers.” I put that in quotes because in some of these cases, the parents have taught the kids absolutely nothing. They aren’t really “homeschooling.” They are just claiming they are to avoid detection.

That’s one reason I was surprised that one of the boys took at least one course at a local college. If the boy showered only twice a year, he must have stunk to high heaven and been very dirty. If he was severely emaciated, you’d think someone would notice. His mom took him and waited outside the classroom. Kind of odd, but not extremely so. Still, all things considered, I’m shocked that neither the professor nor any of the kids in the class contacted anyone.

I have a distant relative who “homeschools” his kids. I’m not a fan, but in this case, the kids in their homeschooling community get together one day a week to discuss their lessons in various subjects and they have various ECs for their group. For example, his D is a cheerleader for a football team made up of homeschoolers. This is not something I personally approve of, but I sincerely doubt that any of the kids involved in their circle are abused. If your kids didn’t cover the curriculum they were supposed to learn week after week, that would soon become apparent. And, while I think this sort of cheerleading is a waste of time–it’s not the least bit athletic–I’m sure if one of the girls looked extremely emaciated, someone would report it.

I did not say that all this had anything to do with the fact they lived in Texas. I simply said that the man who bought the property they owned in Texas described the horrific condition the property was in. The prosecutor has said the abuse began in Texas and asked anyone who knows anything to come forward. I don’t “blame” Texas for the abuse. I don’t “blame” NYC–where I live–for the abuse of the “Wolfpack” either. And as a resident of NYC, I probably have more sympathy with the father than most. The Wolfpack lived in a public housing project and some of those projects are really scary, high crime areas. Lots of perfectly sane loving parents who live in them restrict their kids’ movement The Wolfpack kids were never starved. They were never physically restrained. They had free access to the toilet. They were allowed to watch television. Hey, is the way they were raised healthy? Heck no. But it’s nowhere near what the Turpin kids endured.

As for the name thing…they were all named with names beginning with J to honor Jesus. In and of itself worrisome? Probably not…but one more thing that seems “off.” And dressing your kids alike? You said you did this when the kids were young. The older Turpin kids were in their mid-20s. Yes, I think it’s sick to dress young women in their 20s in the outfits pictured on the Turpins’ social media accounts.

I shall now admit that part of your message makes me worry about your kids. You claim.

It isn’t against Massachusetts law to teach young children Latin. In fact, a quick google search indicates that there are elementary schools in Massachusetts where Latin is part of the curriculum. So, I suspect there is more to the story than you’ve said. Were you teaching them Latin INSTEAD OF other subjects the town felt they should learn?

Again, obviously…I don’t know. but you say that by 9th grade, you let them go to a school. So,as teenagers they were allowed to see other teenagers. The Turpin kids weren’t.

I suspect your kids also know what medication is, what pills are, who a police officer is, etc. The Turpin kids didn’t.

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I wish people wouldn’t conflate “God told me to do it” with actual faith. Crazy people blame God for a lot of things, but it doesn’t mean that religion causes people to do crazy things. I think it’s the other way around. I don’t think the 9/11 perpetrators were actual devout Muslims any more than I think these people were serious Christians. They just confused their own crazy with the voice of God.

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Both the parents were raised at Pentecostal Christians. They met at their church.But there is NO indication that this family has attended any church since the parents married. Renewing their marriage vows in front ot an Elvia impersonator isn’t something that ANY church I’m aware of would approve of.

Nor am I aware of any faith in which it is right to starve your kids or tie them up or chain them or keep them up all night, etc.

@Lizardly I would recommend AGAINST visiting the family or asking questions of the neighbors before you call CPS/ Doing this will suggest that you are the ones who called CPS. That might lead to some backlash. Just go ahead and make an anonymous call. If you’re wrong…so what? The police aren’t going to think that in the current atmosphere you have to be a whackadoodle to call them. If something IS going on…your call might save the kids.

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@jonri MA is an “approval” state for home school, meaning that the local school district has to approve your curriculum, our local school district did not teach Latin and refused to approve our home school curriculum even though we hired a MA certified teacher to provide additional tutoring weekly and used the age appropriate Minimus curriculum from the UK.

Home school approval in MA is done by district not at the state level also all homeschooling regulations in MA are based on case law and I was informed the only way to challenge it was to take it to court. It was much cheaper to move than to mount a legal battle. My kids were well past what the local school was teaching, that’s why we needed to home school them. We also felt it was better to provide and an ‘enriching’ curriculum as opposed to an accelerating one. The school wanted us to teach my son initial consonant sounds even though he had already taught himself to read and was reading Harry Potter books by K.

btw, my 15 and 17 year old boys wore matching shirts and bow ties to church on Easter Sunday and all 3 of my kids wear matching co-coordinating PJ’s for Christmas eve - I thought this would stop when the started high school but they all complained that it was ‘tradition’ and want to continue.

We certainly didn’t name our kids with J names to honor Jesus. We have a domain name base on our initials that was registered well before we even thought of kids (1995) and we wanted their initials to fit the domain name. I guess that’s sick too…

I am not defining what the Turpin family did just pointing out there are many families that name their kids with the same letter, dress their kids the same, and homeschool and none of these things have anything thing to do with starving and torturing children.

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I agree that calling CPS about concerns anonymously would place the case where it needs to go—with authorities so they can follow up and be sure the children are safe and being properly cared for.

Being a concerned neighbor CAN really help the kids if there’s a problem and they feel helpless and that no one cares or knows.