Classicalmama, this girl is a freshman, not an 8th grader. It is different for girl’s sports, especially lacrosse and soccer, as those teams at the most elite schools are full before junior year or in the fall of junior year (before the high school spring season, so the spots are offered off the spring sophomore season, or at least the students are a good way into the process).
Most of us aren’t talking about long conversations with the coaches, just emails saying “I’m playing at the Showcase next week, and my games are at XXX, YYY, ZZZ.” or “We won the state championship” or “I’m going to be in Mayberry next weekend and will stop by the field.” The OP’s daughter would be setting up the summer during her freshman year, which tournaments, which showcases, etc.
Girls lacrosse is trying to put a stop to this early recruiting and wants no contact, none, between students and college coaches until Sept 1 of junior year. That way, no one will be committed until a Junior. The coaches want this, but also want it to be a rule because unless everyone does it, some will still recruit early. Is there opposition? Sure, because the showcase tournaments are big money and some sophomore teams might not attend (I don’t think so, the kids love to go) and so are camps held by the coaches on campuses which might require some reorganization so that the coaches aren’t recruiting. Believe it or not, the NCAA approves these rules sport by sport, and has not made any such rules for over 5 years, so women’s lacrosse is still operating under the old system of ‘get them early.’
There has been a lot of discussion on whether the Ivies participate in this early recruiting. They do. They can’t give out the same assurances other programs can give that admissions will happen, but after doing it for years they can be pretty sure which athletes will get in and send the others on their way before the applications are even submitted. In lacrosse at least, the elite programs like Hopkins, Duke, Northwestern are recruiting sophomores. Even Army and Navy are recruiting early, long before the application, appointments, and interviews take place.