<p>I’ve tried to do a little internet research on this and there really is no reliable version of this story out there. One of the ‘outed’ boys has been very vocal and has made several claims about what was said and done by the principal. However, these claims seem not to be verifiable at this time. </p>
<p>But, according the boy’s own mother, the list was simply a piece of paper with phone numbers on the principal’s desk that the parent noticed while in a private meeting with that principal. Frankly, this seems to be a story that is growing wildly courtesy of internet bloggers intent on embellishing facts and filling in gaps with opinions.</p>
<p>I did find this little tidbit in a Memphis papers re: ACLU’s demands:</p>
<p>"The complaint makes a list of demands to the city school board in order for the district to avoid legal action:</p>
<ul>
<li>an apology to Andrew and Nicholas
<ul>
<li>reprimand the principal </li>
<li>put new policies in place to prevent it from happening again </li>
<li>and give money to the two students for their suffering."</li>
</ul></li>
</ul>
<p>The ACLU is saying the principal wanted to cut down on public displays of affection. Generally that’s asumed to be kissing & hugging. Yet the school states, “Unfortunately, in fall 2007, we received numerous complaints from LeMoyne-Owen College faculty and staff that some of our student couples were involved in explicit sexual behavior in public view on the college campus.” That’s a HUGE difference. This is also a unique situation where college and h.s. kids are mixed & this presents greater challenges for administrative discipline and safety measures. </p>
<p>And now someone is seeing dollar signs. Surprise…</p>
<p>I have to say…lol…one policy that could be put into place that might ‘prevent this from happening again’ is a workshop for parents to teach them that reading papers on a principal’s desk is snooping and very inappropriate.</p>
<p>Sorry, ldmom, but private documents should NOT be in plain sight when the public enters an administrator’s office. What if your child’s individual education plan was laying out for all to see? It’s the responsibility of an administrator (and any school personnel, for that matter) to guard the privacy of students by ensuring that sensitive information is kept away from prying eyes. It is not the responsibility of the public to avoid looking … that would certainly be the “right” thing to do, but the onus still lies with the one entrusted to protect privacy. </p>
<p>I am not saying that I know whether or not anything private was actually on that desk. I am just saying that if it was … unless that mom broke into the office & peeked without permission, your argument is not valid.</p>
<p>Sorry kelsmom, but you are missing the point. I realize what I’m describing is essentially an ‘honor’ system of sorts. I think it is safe to presume the parent did NOT have permission to peek at the items on the principal’s desk and she should have kept her eyes to herself. And, frankly, it’s sad argument to say we can lecture our children on the importance of not cheating, honor codes and on the pitfalls of plagiarism, but as adults we have an excuse conveniently handy for our own moral weakness. Where is the validity in that argument?</p>
<p>Also,the presumption that a principal’s office and desk are public domain is wrong. Personally, I would not dream of looking at any papers lying on any person’s desk. In fact, ironically, one recent afternoon, I spoke with our high school principal in the hall regarding a publication she was to approve. She told me she had signed off on it and gave me permission to go into her office and retrieve it from her desk. I went to her office, but just could not make myself comfortable looking through the things on her desk…so I waited outside until she returned. </p>
<p>Perhaps, in THIS case, the only thing the principal did wrong was hold the parent in higher regard than she deserved.</p>
<p>Just so I’m clear: if your child’s entire confidential school file were spread out on the principal’s desk and visible to anyone entering the office (staff, students, parents, maintenance workers) who didn’t make a point of averting their eyes-- you would not hold the principal responsible if that information became public knowledge?</p>
<p>But…that is not what happened alh. What happened was a principal had a list of first names and phone numbers on her desk. While meeting with the complaining parent, that parent claims to have seen the list without the principal being aware of it. (From there, the ACLU and practically the entire internet blogging community has made the HUGE leap that the principal ‘published’ a list of romantically involved students with the intent of targeting and outing gay students…but I digress.) </p>
<p>Now…regarding your EXTREME and hypothetical scenario re: my child’s files. At our school, our principal’s office is not open to the public. There is a waiting room, a secretary’s office and a small meeting room in the suite. I assume there is quite a bit of highly confidential information in the principal’s private work space. If a dishonest person were to gain access to my child’s personal information in a dishonest way, I would hold that person accountable. I certainly would not focus my anger on the principal while (disingenuously) ignoring the conduct of the dishonest person.</p>
<p>Question for you. If you left your purse in your car in your garage, who are you going to hold accountable if that purse is stolen? Is the primary person of blame the thief, or do you let the thief off the hook and take responsibility for leaving your purse in your car in your garage?</p>
<p>I am really not sure I am following you. I pretty much believe that leaving my purse in the car is an invitation to have it stolen. It would be extremely careless of me to do so. Maybe where you live things are different? Am I the principal in your analogy? Really confused here.</p>
<p>One of the things that a lot of you are missing here is that, reading the school district’s own press release carefully, there is no claim that the principal tied her calls to any actual observed inappropriate behavior. She developed a list of couples, and called their parents, not a list of students who had been seen doing anything offensive.</p>
<p>Also, I’m sorry, the school district’s claim that it was just a list on the principal’s desk strains credulity. If there were just a list of students on the principal’s desk, how would anyone other than the principal and the admin who compiled it know what it was? It seems clear that something about the list immediately identified what its purpose was and who on it was whom, and that it was presented in a way that invited attention.</p>
<p>JHS: Thank you! And back on track. The young men say they did not violate school policy and no school official is contradicting this statement. The mother reports an extremely offensive phone call. Is the school denying it?And the more I consider the story, it is just not very plausible to me that two gay public high school students in TN (thinking about college admissions) were observed holding hands, much less engaged in explicit sexual behaviour and that when “caught” they and their parents decided this was a great money making opportunity. Having never considered the issue until the last few days, frankly I am wondering whether public displays of affection among gay public high school students really exist, or just that concern over the possibility creates this kind of situation?</p>
<p>From what I understood, the principal asked teachers to give names of couples…To me that is an invasion of privacy. In HS kids break up every other day. DS is going to the prom tonight with his ex who he dated 9 mos (the fact that they are still going amazes me in itself) They only broke up last week, his best friend is going with his ex too. When I was in hs I was friends with a lot of guys, hugged and kissed them, but nothing in a sexual way, however, in this scenario where teachers are reporting names I would have had at least 3 boyfriends. Also my DH was very good friends with a couple of gay guys…when I first met him and our mutual frind who was openly gay came running up to him and hugged him, I was about to run to the hills thinking he was gay (this is not meant slanderous about homosexuality, but only that I thought he was gay and obviously just not that into me ;)) It is wrong for teachers to get involved in a child’s love life at the age. Yes, they should stand in the hallways to make sure that kids aren’t groping each other, but to go out and say this person is datingthis person is nothing more than an assumption.</p>
<p>In the end MHO is that we have lost sight of common sense. The principal has taken this to a level it never needed to be on. She should have had at her weekly staff meetings a directive to the teachers, that she expected them to be outside their door watching the students during passing time. At our school which is a spread out campus (@4-5 buildings plus trailers)…the GC’s , VP and security walk the campus ground constantly, it would be hard for any kid to be sexually explicit without being caught. Plus, she stated that a university could see them., that means she knows the location…just keep showing up there every few minutes (15-30) for a while and the kids will figure out that you will not get away with it. I understand she is busy, but lets be real, she also has office administration that she could say go and walk around XXXX, every 30 mins. if the principal was too busy. Our front staff has 4 assistants, 3 GC’s 2 VPs, and 2 security guards. The grad class is 300. on a 5 acre campus. Basically that means without using the security guard, the other 9 people could do a check every 30 minutes, with the theory it will take 15 minutes to do it. I would much rather see that then teachers having to hand in lists of who is dating who…afterall going back to my DS, he is going to the prom with his ex and is talking to a new girl"…are these teachers now responsible for a daily update!</p>
<p>It’s very simple. When a teacher or administrator sees inappropriate behavior in the hall, AT THAT VERY MOMENT they take the students into the office, tell them their behavior was inappropriate, and administer the appropriate punishment (detention, suspension for severe/repeat offenders, etc). I still do NOT understand the need for any sort of list. </p>
<p>At our high school, 5 years ago 2 students decided to have oral sex in a stairwell. It was caught on the video cameras. Both students were expelled. It hasn’t happened since (at least, not in a public area). </p>