10 years ago, at the tender age of 18, I ran off to college on the east coast. Because all the “good” schools were back there. And also my perfect GPA, mix of extracurriculars, various internships, the fact that it was cousin’s alma mater, and maybe even a dose of affirmative action combined to get me into Wharton. That’s just not something you say no to.</p>
<p>So I settled in on the west side of Philadelphia. It was awful. It’s grey. I know it’s old and has a bunch of cool history (which, ironically, is the degree I ended up with), but the place is sad. Decrepit. Like having historical cache means it’s allowed to be dirty. If Philly was a person, it would be the disabled homeless Vietnam vet that sits in his wheelchair on the corner in any given ghetto that we all want to pretend doesn’t exist, who at one time was a war hero and is now just an embarrassment to society.</p>
<p>And it’s overrun with pigeons, which are the dirtiest animals. Like rats with wings. </p>
<p>I’m not the only one that thinks so. Forbes.com recently ranked it as the 5th most miserable city in the United States. From the article:</p>
<p>How miserable is Philly? The residents of the City of Brotherly Love once booed Santa Claus and pelted him with snowballs at an Eagles game. Maybe it’s the long commutes, violent crime and plethora of toxic waste sites that has people grumpy. Philadelphia scored in the top 20 in all three areas.</p>
<p>And the picture that accompanies that quote is of a crime scene. With at least 12 markers for what…bullet casings? And it’s raining. Oh the *<strong><em>ing rain! God hates Philly, so he’s always crying. That’s why it’s always *</em></strong>ing raining.</p>
<p>Coincidentally, Los Angeles ranked 6th worst. Because we have long commutes. Yeah. I’ve always been a proponent of living close to work. If you don’t, you’re just an idiot and have only yourself to blame. But at least we don’t have “violent crime and plethora of toxic waste sites” to KILL us. Jesus Christo! We also don’t have a pro football team, but no one gives a **** because our top-ranked college sports and pro basketball teams keep us pretty entertained. Oh, and that entire industry of entertainment keeps us from going ape **** on a poor guy dressed like an old fat man at a damn football game. It was probably raining then too. Or worse yet, snowing.</p>
<p>Philly is a **** hole. And I have yet to meet anyone from there that wasn’t an idiot . I don’t say that to their faces, obviously. But I do feel sorry for them. And oddly superior. Actually, I feel that way about everyone I meet, but Philadelphians bring out a special type of pity.</p>
<p>Don’t go there. It’s almost as sad as Reno…which is where your dreams go to die. Philly, on the other hand, is where they go to be brutally murdered.