<p>intparent–I guess I see it as more tactless for kids that can’t be happy for someone else. One of the kids’ friends got into Yale last year and the kids threw a huge “party” for him in the lunch room–brought in cupcakes and had a grand old time. Other kids applied but didn’t get in. They knew that this kid had a better shot of getting in though. No hard feelings. He ended up going elsewhere because he got a full ride offer. Other kids have gotten into pretty high profile schools, again, the school celebrates that, and all admissions. They have a tradition on hanging the pennants from the schools the outgoing senior class is attending outside the library. It’s really fun to see the variety of schools kids are attending. Part of this though is that the kids here really are not focused on the prestige of the school more looking at which schools are the best fit.</p>
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<p>My daughter’s school had a similar tradition, where college logos were on the wall and kids put their own names under the logo of the college they were attending.</p>
<p>I thought at the time that this must have been painful for some, such as the girl who got into Brown, a college she truly loved, but had to attend our state university for financial reasons.</p>
<p>Just because students shouldn’t feel jealous or hurt because of someone else’s good fortune doesn’t mean they don’t… and in many cases they have put a lot of time and energy into the applications (heck, into their lives) in preparation for this. Obviously a public display of bad sportsmanship is inappropriate, but I don’t begrudge students who feel bad when someone else gets into a school and they don’t. And sometimes it IS inexplicable to those watching (why one kid gets in vs. another). We debate this ad-nauseum on CC, and know that sometimes the ad-coms know things we don’t, but that does not make it less painful. Then if the admitted kid turns down the chance – that stings even more (yes, we all know that that doesn’t make it more likely that the non-admitted kid would have gotten in – but it still can hurt).</p>
<p>So we have tried to keep it low key… our celebration of good admissions fortune will be internal to our family for the most part. Obviously everyone will know where our kids end up attending in the end, but flaunting admissions to other schools just seems kind of rude and tacky to me.</p>
<p>inpatient,
it largely depends on a region. At D’s private prep. with 100% acceptance to 4 year colleges every single year, nobody cared a bit. This school had primarily kids with MD and lawers parents (sometime 2 in the same family). Nobody cared and many MDs send their kids to local college to have easier/cheaper path to Med. School. Do not know much about law side. When I was asking my own D. who had very wide group of friends about academics in regard to her friends, her normal reply was that they never cared to discuss it among themselves, they just wanted to enjoy their time together, nobody cared. Very many from her crowd are in Med. Schools now, including the younger year and most ended up graduating from public UGs, including our local no-rank college. It really depends on a region. Do not get me wrong, we had kids in Ivy’s, but it did not matter who went where, nobody expressed any happinees / sadness, no celbrations, not much discussion about it even at HS private graduation parties, we went to few…</p>
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<p>In 8th grade I applied to Science, Stuy and Tech (one test for all 3, as you probably know), Performing Arts (drama, so audition), Music and Art (voice, so audition), and 5 privates - Brooklyn Friends, Trinity, Dalton, Columbia Prep and Brearley, all of which involved an app, essays, interviews and financial aid apps. I can still rattle those names off like it was yesterday.</p>
<p>Applying to college was easy-peasy four years later. Had been there, done that. I think I actually applied to fewer colleges than I did high schools.</p>
<p>MiamiDAP, I am not an “inpatient” at the moment. 
Glad, too.</p>
<p>There are always some threads out here annually about kids who didn’t get into dream schools and are crushed, and dismayed at who did get in. And some of those kids in your D’s private prep may have been privately unhappy, but being good sports about it. Just saying, being sensitive to one’s own good fortune without making a racket about it can be the kind thing to do.</p>
<p>For me, choosing which college to go to was just as hard, if not worse, than the application process. It determined many things for us, and right now I’m not sure I made the right choice, but have to stick it out for at least a semester and see, might just be due to usual freshmen nerves.</p>
<p>April was not a fun time in our household three years ago, and I’m not sure it will be any better this time around, but I do agree that it’s great to have the applications out of the way. Three years ago we had disappointment and tears, but in retrospect, the results were just right for our daughter. She just couldn’t see it at the time. It took until the second day of freshman year for her to realize her good fortune. A semester later when she switched her major, she was even more grateful she ended up where she was. Out of all the schools she applied to, this university has the best program. Things just work out.</p>
<p>We had it easy with D1. She applies EA to our state school and was accepted 4 days later. One and she was done. It was an anti-climax, but she it was her 1st choice and a few years later, she is very happy there. </p>
<p>I somehow know there will be payback with S1.</p>
<p>S2 kept things very low key when he got into one of his top two choices in December and there was a bloodbath among his classmates, a large number of whom applied to Yale SCEA. He was thrilled his strategy worked, but felt badly for his friends, who then spent the holidays putting together apps. (But when 28 people from one school apply to Yale, what does one expect?!?)</p>
<p>April was not a fun time. S2 didn’t decide til 8 pm on May 1st and still was back-and-forth. Even now, the jury is still out. External events have made things challenging, though it may have been even more so at the other school.</p>
<p>S1’s HS program had a Wall of Rejection. Many of these kids had been together since 6th grade (and in some cases, 4th), so they all had a pretty good idea of where each other stood. I am sure there were kids who didn’t feel so badly about rejections when they saw that not even Intel STS finalists got in everywhere.</p>
<p>I think sr. year is extremely stressful. S1 got in SCEA, but it wasn’t his #1 choice. That school must be the only school in the county still to use snail mail only, and it was the last of 10 ap results he rec’d…so 12/15 to 4/1 was painful. Then, and I realize it was/is a good problem, but still, it’s difficult in that position, he had some good acceptances from which to choose. May might be the only good month of sr. year. :)</p>
<p>It’s not exactly a panacea when spring comes. If you can find some of the parents’ thread from this past spring you can get some idea. Making up ones mind, the waiting list game, the financial aid negotiations really make it tough. And some of us are such saps that it hurts when our kids have to turn down some of these schools!</p>
<p>Agreed ^ April was NOT a fun time, but taking the necessary time to choose the best fit/financial package is definitely worth it to save all the stress freshmen year of college</p>
<p>Last April was the worst month of senior year for my daughter. It was a nightmare. Never want to go through that again.</p>
<p>Hoping my next daughter will be easier.</p>
<p>Senior year was delightful, many trips to interviews, some in our home town, sleeping in a car in some strange downtown in between interviews at couple schools, meeting with lots of parents in the same situation, learning a lot, gaining experience in interviews (absolutely invaluable, huge advantage for events later on in life), lots of college visits, openning packages with Merit awards, taking very easy on rejections and be happy about acceptances, having a bit of hard time writing to the ones that were not chosen, explaining why (this probably was one of the hardest)…and graduation parties… Overall, great fun and more of our participation than it was 4 years later applying to Med. Schools. So, I would say, try to enjoy as much as possible, you will not be given the same opportunites later on, when they are pretty much on thier own. Enjoy while it lasts, that is what kids are for, they are our entertainment and the biggest of them all, nothing else will measure as high in our lives. When they are not in our care any more, everything else become so boring all of a sudden, you are just left wondering what has happened with your perception.</p>
<p>May 1st was the great day that everything fell into place for us. We had to wait for FA packages and that made for a tense April. Others had to fly around the country attending Admitted Student days, and here on CC you can read about wait lists, buyer’s remorse, unexpected FA packages, flip flopping teens, and general stress. A year later we are all happier but dealing with homesick students, empty nest parents, overwhelmed tears on occasion. Still I am glad to be on the other side of it all. Good luck to all those as you smile and nod through comments, try not to nag about essays and sift through piles of mail.</p>