<p>Its a good lesson- while I would be po-ed at my son & if it was my yard that was trashed I would be furious- it is a relief that no one was hurt.</p>
<p>My kids don’t own cars & I don’t loan mine out ( I don’t even like my H to drive it- because he thinks every thing is a hot rod)</p>
<p>But I agree, while it might be tempting to blame the friend-
when my child abdicated their responsibility - that they accepted when they accepted the use of the car-
that they again let themselves down- ( and me) when they chose to get themselves in a condition that left them unable to be responsible for my property
and again when their solution was to hand over responsibilty to a third party-unknown and unapproved to me.</p>
<p>I know it is a PITA when ins companies raise rates.
Our insurance company - wants all liscensed drivers to be covered on all cars- which makes it more expensive- even though I never drive H’s car & he rarely drives mine
But perhaps when he goes off to college you could take him off?</p>
<p>Anytime you loan your car to ANYone, you are taking on the responsibility of their driving habits and of any damages they may cause while driving it. It is your car which is insured, not the individual who happens to be driving it. Your son chose to allow his friend, who he obviously knew had been drinking, to drive the car. He had permission. Thus, you and your insurer are responsible for any damage caused by this driver. Be thankful that it was only someone’s yard that was damaged.</p>
<p>Well…here is the “house rule” here. When our kids are using OUR cars…we have told them that their friends can NOT drive the cars. I have told my kids repeatedly that if they can’t drive themselves, they should call a taxi…and pay for that. It’s sure a lot cheaper than having an accident of any kind. It’s a hard lesson learned, but if YOU give your car keys to someone else, then YOU bear the responsibility for dealing with an accident with that car.</p>
<p>My son is over 21 and is in college. He doesn’t have the money to pay for his own insurance so we are stuck with the rates if they go up. </p>
<p>We have always preached about not drinking and driving. He did what we said. We never told him not to let anyone else drive his car if that should happen. Didn’t think about it, actually. Lesson learned. </p>
<p>I don’t know how he feels about this. My husband just got a call from the friend’s insurance company yesterday and my son is still away at school. The day after it happened my son told us not to worry about it because his friend was fully insured. His friend was very upset about making the choice to drink and drive and wouldn’t go out at all for several weeks. He is a good kid. I’m thankful no one was hurt. Yes, that is the most important thing, I know. </p>
<p>I know it’s not a huge thing, but it’s just one more thing in a list of others that have been going wrong lately. :(</p>
<p>Even if it hadn’t been your car, your son got into a car driven by someone who had been drinking. I think you should be very happy that nothing worse happened.</p>
<p>With four children, we historically have just paid for minor damages outright rather than use our insurance to cover the costs. In our state, the insurance rates are very high to begin with, so we avoided years of surcharges this way. Obviously, if the damage was excessive, this would not be an option, but if the damages were not too bad, we probably came out ahead. Based upon the various infractions, I have asked for and eventually received repayment from the child(ren) at fault.</p>
<p>If you have any substantial assets to protect (home, college savings, retirement) you should carry an umbrella policy which supplements your auto and homeowners liability insurance. My $1 M Umbrella policy costs me about $150 per year and is well worth it.</p>
<p>Got that umbrella policy the day our daughter got her license. And until then we had a rider on our car insurance that no one under 25 could drive our cars. It gave us a small discount and since we never allowed anyone else to drive our cars anyway there was no reason not to have it.</p>
<p>Just to be clear, I was not advocating that the OP sue the friend; I was just pointing out that it is an option. And I’m sorry to disagree with so many, but I don’t think that the driver should be absolved of all responsibility just because he was doing a “favor.” He was also doing himself a favor, and should have been as adult as the son and said no. </p>
<p>Some posters have indicated that the insurer may raise rates because the son was also drunk. My question is, how will they know that? As far as I am aware, no one breathalyzes a passenger!</p>
<p>We had an umbrella policy - and then my H was in an accident one year and my D the next. No one ever sued us, but the ins co refused to renew the umbrella. I was in an accident this year, so I am waiting to see if we get dropped altogether by our ins co! It’s been a rough couple of years around here.</p>
<p>I agree with Chedva that the friend bears some responsibility. However, that is between the son and the friend. As far as the insurance company is concerned, the owner is the one responsible for the damage, having allowed her son to use the car in the first place.</p>
<p>"My son is over 21 and is in college. He doesn’t have the money to pay for his own insurance so we are stuck with the rates if they go up. "</p>
<p>Does he not have a job in school and/or over the summer? The money could go to help pay for his insurance.</p>
<p>A car also isn’t an entitlement for college students. I would bet that most parents here didn’t have cars when we were in h.s. and college. Your S has demonstrated extreme irresponsibiity with the car, and a natural consequence could be for him to forfit the car. It’s lucky that neither he nor his passenger were injured.</p>
<p>Yes, my son has a job. The money from the job pays for school and living expenses. </p>
<p>I don’t agree that he demonstrated extreme irresponsibility with the car; he demonstrated impaired judgment. Extreme irresponsibility would have been to drive himself and his friend home while he was drunk. Impaired judgment is not being able to reason that the person that was out with you that night may not be able to drive home safely even though he says he is fine. </p>
<p>No. Your son allowed an intoxicated individual to drive the car. That decision put their own lives and the lives of many innocent people in danger. I would say that’s acting “extremely irresponsible” with an automobile. Thank God they hit an object and not a person. That decision is not made less irresponsible because his own judgment at the time was impaired by the fact that he was intoxicated himself. That’s not a defense. </p>
<p>If he drove the car there then he should have not started drinking. If the plan was for him to drink then he should have chosen a designated driver well in advance… one that agreed ahead of time not to consume any alcohol. Also, he didn’t have “impaired judgment” when he made the decision to start consuming alcohol whilst still in possession of the car keys. </p>
<p>I’ve seen cases all the time in court where an individual tries to make similar arguments and suggest that some incident (which was the result of poor decisions on their part) was not really their responsibility because the decisions were made while the defendant was drunk and thus they weren’t thinking clearly. It doesn’t work like that… intoxicated or not you’re still fully responsible for your actions and decisions.</p>