<p>Can you say what school you graduated from or give some hints?</p>
<p>^ I went to Caltech</p>
<p>"I really do not like to program. Every time I write code it’s like dragging my feet. "
-why to continue in CS at all. I have over 30 years in IT all of which I have enjoyed writing software on various platforms in various languages, and I never met anybody around me (in huge over 200 persons departments as well as in time 2 person - my manager and me, departments) who did not enjoy it. It is such a game, it is the best entertainment. I have swithced from engineering after working for about 11 years, I hated it. It is NOT a good idea to do what you do no emjoy doing, not at all. And being a prof. in this field would feel so out of place if you do not like coding, I do not see any reason to continue with the CS, drop it all together, find something else. it will not get better, talking from experience.</p>
<p>Did you look into getting a year deferral? You could have burn-out after 4 years of Caltech.
Hopefully, you can work for a year, exploring branches of CS, prior to starting grad program. You could be sick of coding and yet open to other fields which utilize CS skills. My son shifted between CS and lab work, worked in labs at Caltech after graduating, and finally found his sea legs after a few years of grad school.</p>
<p>Some people are lucky that they have a passion for a certain kind of work. Others are content for many years, and then shift gears.</p>
<p>Have you talked to career services at Caltech? They might have some ideas for you too.</p>
<p>You mentioned that math research was depressing, interviews made you depressed, and you’d get depressed when your programming code wasn’t working instead of trying to fix it. It sounds like the root of the problem may be depression. I expect that on some level you already know this, considering how often you used the word “depressed” instead of listing corresponding symptoms. Have you talked to a psych counselor on campus to get their opinion? Some people who are depressed find they have a completely different personality after treating their depression and suddenly feel motivated and interested in many activities (both school and work) that they felt lethargic about in the past.</p>
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<p>I haven’t talked to them about this, I probably should. I’m not sure if they offer services to alumni but I can check.</p>
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<p>I used to be depressed a few years ago and I went on medical leave for that. Now I’m kind of miserable but not that miserable. It’s kind of like having a slow computer. Life is not as great as when I was happy, but I can still function and it feels normal.</p>
<p>Anyway I think I was upset when I wrote this post and now I’m not as worried anymore. I started liking programming again but maybe I’ll hate it again in a few days or weeks. I don’t know.</p>
<p>No offense intended but I’m surprised that a CalTech CS grad would think the only future ahead for them is ‘programming’. It sounds as if you don’t really know what the CS field is, the opportunities available in the CS field, what software product development entails, or the opportunities for CS grads in other fields. And pursuing a PHD in CS would be quite far from doing rote ‘programming’. It’s surprising you wouldn’t know this.</p>
<p>On top of that, no one would typically hire a PHD to do ‘programming’ in that simple context. They’d hire them to design and architect a software application or system or software solutions to problems and this might entail some programming but they wouldn’t spend all day writing simple code as you may be inferring with your use of the term ‘programming’ - or maybe that’s just my perception from what you wrote.</p>
<p>I’m not as surprised a CalTech CS ‘grad’, and especially one considering a PHD (if that comes out in the interview) would get rejected from an internship at 6 companies since many/most of them are looking to end up hiring the person after they get the BS (or MS). Typically one doesn’t ‘intern’ after they already graduated. Some companies have a policy against hiring as an intern someone who already graduated. Ideally a CS major would have already interned between 3rd/4th year or even 2nd/3rd year to get some practical experience as well as explore what the field is really like at least at one or two businesses/areas.</p>
<p>I think you need to go talk to career services to find out more about what the possibilities are. Also speak to some profs and lecturers to get their take on various opportunities.</p>
<p>You survived CalTech… including 3 simulaneous CS class. You liked Data Structures. You scored a PhD slot. You may have more talents than you think;) Yes,do solicit help from the campus career center - they may have some great leads and ideas.</p>
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You implied that the degree of your depression varies, and you how you feel about programming changes from week to week. I wouldn’t recommend choosing a career based on what may be a temporary feeling and condition. You should hope to do better than just “kind of miserable, but not that miserable.” A change in treatment might help achieve that.</p>
<p>In any case, going back to your original question, I was a also a tech grad from a selective California school. Now that I have graduated and am working, I spend much of my week working with simulations in C++. Work is very different from programming classes in college. I wouldn’t assume that if you don’t like school assignments, you won’t like work. One may enjoy one and dislike the other; or be very successful at one and do poorly at the other.</p>
<p>For example, one difference is my workload on the job was much lighter than in college (I’d expect this to be even more true for Caltech), with different hours. My college work was spread out in brief periods throughout the day and night on both weekdays and weekends, while my job was limited to specific hours on M-F. </p>
<p>The types of problems solved are very different. In college, I knew that the problem was set up in such a way that it could be solved quickly using information from the class. At my job, problems were more likely to be a part of a large project that takes months to complete. Solving some problems may require background knowledge that you, as a new grad, are not expected to have. It’s more of a team effort with lots of people assisting others, like your partner who bailed you out of the Netflix assignment. It’s usually perfectly okay to get assistance from someone else on your project. On many days I spend more of my time assisting and supporting others than working on my own stuff .</p>
<p>Have you considered getting an MBA? You have an impressive undergrad tech degree, and the world of business needs people like you.</p>
<p>But there’s a slight catch. To be admitted to most MBA programs, you need several years of work experience. Therefore, you need a job. But it doesn’t have to be a job that you’re planning to commit your life to. Chances are, after getting the MBA, you would change to a different type of work anyhow. So all you’re doing, when you get a job, is making a 3 to 4 year commitment. And if you absolutely hate the job, you can go get a different job doing something else for part of those 3 or 4 years. Having two different types of experience could even be an advantage.</p>
<p>And if it happens that you actually like the job, you can forget about the MBA. But if you go in thinking that you’re going to leave in 3 or 4 years to go into an MBA program, it takes a lot of pressure off of you.</p>