y’know as the only other mom who had responded to the OP when you posted your warning not to put too much weight on parent’s opinions, I am finding it hard not to take your comment personally, momcinco. The OP asked for ways to differentiate the two schools. Most enrolled students, and most enrolled parents, will be either very very happy or seriously unhappy. I tried to respond factually to the OP’s specific queries and to add some other possible areas of difference between them, without in anyway suggesting that one was better or worse than the other. The two schools are more alike than not- especially the great academics and smart, engaged students- so it will really be nuances that tip it for the OP.
I really agree with your comment that “the feeling of different campuses are very different and some just “fit” with some people more than others” (that was CodyChesnutt’s D’s experience, and has been the experience with my D’s, as well as those students that I have worked with on the college process). I think that is particularly true of Vassar- that it is a ‘fit’ school. That’s why I was trying to give the OP areas to think what might fit her/him.
I also agree that s/he really can’t go wrong: they are two great choices, and we will be interested to her what the final decision is.