<p>Better to be safe than sorry. This kid is scary. Most benevolent comment I could make is that he figured out way to have a single room. I hope the college does something strong, even expelling him for a semester.</p>
<p>sad that the son had to move out and creepy guy got to stay, as there are others on that campus</p>
<p>bring a knife to school like that is obviouslly against some major rules, and hopefully, they have someone in there right know talking to him, and not just doing a “wait and see”</p>
<p>Wow! I came to this thread late, and agree with all others–getting out of the room was paramount, and glad he could do that. Now they need to find him another ASAP.</p>
<p>I had a psychotic roommate–the day she told me she “thought she could trust me, but now she knew she was wrong and I was just like the others” was the last minute I spent in that room. </p>
<p>Glad to hear you and son acted on your instincts.</p>
<p>OP-
Please tell us what happens. Does another, unsuspecting student move in with roommate? Does he remain in the dorm?</p>
<p>So, where is the marine knife now?</p>
<p>My son went back to his room during the daytime hours and the hall director came up to their room with the excuse that my son had to sign some papers.
The knife was in plain sight. Public safety came and cofiscated the knife.
The roomates response was " they think I could kill someone with a knife, I could kill someone with a plastic bag if I wanted to"
My son is getting a new room today after spending the weekend at his brother’s apartment.
Without telling me what they were going to do because of confidentiality reasons, the hall director did tell me that they were “following up with this kid”
Just glad my son is out.</p>
<p>keymom:</p>
<p>Late to this thread. I’m glad that the admin was responsive and your son is safe. But I also hope that the roommate, who sounds like he has homicidal tendencies, is being “followed up.” As the VA Tech massacre showed, you don’t have to room with a psychopath to become his target.</p>
<p>if the roommate made a statement like that with the Hall Director present, I don’t think you have to worry about that person living in that dorm for long.</p>
<p>
That’s what V Tech said, too. “Following up” is so vague, it is a meaningless reassurance. I’m glad your son is out of this nut’s room, but I’d be worried about retaliation. Have you considered speaking with the local police or district attorney? I’d really push on this. Confidentaility be damned. You need to know this kid can’t get to your son, or act out his weird death fantasies on another student. Maybe if you make it crystal clear to the administration that you have documented all the incidents & conversations with the roommate, public safety, hall director, and anyone else you dealt with, they will realize this paper trail will be very incriminating if the roommate is allowed to stay & something awful happens. This is one time when you NEED to be a helicopter parent/royal pain in the butt.</p>
<p>I agree with StickerShock. You need more reassurances than the sociopath is being “followed up,” whatever that means in actuality. It could mean just opening a file and sticking it in a drawer; or it could mean actually getting off the campus (and its general vicinity). A reminder that the VTech killer was “followed up” over months and years will come in useful.</p>
<p>I agree with the others that while it is good that your son was removed and given another room, there is concern of the potential for retaliation given the comments the boy has made and he could also be mad that the school was alerted and also took his knife, etc. and he could retaliate against others or even your son for this intervention. So, while there has to be some confidentiality here about the boy, you can assert that you need to know what measures will be taken to assure that your son feels safe from what could be a potential threat of retaliation. While they allowed the boy to stay and also there is his confidentiality, your son’s needs also must be addressed (as well as any possible danger this boy could be to others at the school…or even a new roomie if he is given one…though it clearly is an issue beyond a roomie).</p>
<p>A lot of times when a young person has committed a crime, people realize after the fact about some “signs” which were not as clear at the time. While the fact that this kid has said or done these things doesn’t then mean he will commit any crimes or is a threat, the reverse is true that often those who do commit crimes, say things or act in these ways that are sort of “clues” as to their way of thinking/behaving.</p>
<p>Yeesh. Glad your S is safe and sorry for the upsetting disruption to the start of his year. He will recover with your good support.</p>
<p>Have you planned a way to move his stuff out of the room without him being alone? Can the brother go in to help the move? More people around, the better, I think. Can the Hall Supervisor, who did respond well, oversee the entire move to ensure no incident or verbal exchange occurs, or witness it if it does occur? Can you call upon the college to move his boxes out so he doesn’t have to ever return to the room?</p>
<p>I could kill someone with a plastic bag if I wanted to"</p>
<p>Is this kid some kind of Rambo wanna-be? Sounds like he had a little too much “Outward Bound/ROTC/Martial Arts/Boy Scouts-on-steriods” survival training.</p>
<p>Does he trap, skin, and eat small animals he captures in the forest?</p>
<p>You all sound like very fine people: you, your son who knew to speak up appropriately to you, the helpful brother. When all the dust settles, congratulate each other on your excellent family communication and trust. </p>
<p>Looking at your original title, I guess this crowd here at CC would not consider you “overprotective” at all, but appropriate and wise. your son managed himself excdeptionally well under stress, not to reply but to report this, starting with you, since he trusted you.</p>
<p>I am planning to follow up with the hall director when my son is moved out.
The roomie doesn’t actually know that my son ratted him out about the knife
and he seemed to buy the ruse that the hall director came into the room for another reason.
He is telling the kid that there was an opening on the same floor as his friends. My son had let his displeasure about being not being on the same floor as his friends from the beginning. My husband is going to move out his stuff with my son tonight.
I really think this kid has some mental health issues. Self-reported substance abuse and depression. Even if he isn’t a violent psycopath he obviously needs help.
Thanks for all the advice. Sometimes you just need the perspective of other parents!</p>
<p>I think you have handled it well as has your son. I think it is very good that the hall director entered the room on a ruse and happened to discover the knife while there. I also think it is good that your son made it known that he wanted to be on the same floor as his friends all along and that he was able to get an opening from housing as he had wanted. That is better than it coming across that he moved out over this kid or told anyone about the roomie. So, that helps.</p>
<p>I agree that the boy/roomie may not be violent but ya never know, and yes, you are right that he needs help and perhaps your alerting higher ups at school will allow that to happen, hopefully.</p>
<p>Whew! Glad to know he is outta there, keymom. You are one up on me since you extricated him without a hotel bill! </p>
<p>As my son has learned, your son now knows: When it comes to violence, where there is smoke, there is fire. Get out.</p>
<p>Kudos to you for raising a son who was willing to tell his parents when he was uncomfortable. I always wondered about the boys who roomed with Cho at VTech. did they try to gut it out out of a misplaced sense of ‘tolerance’?</p>
<p>You know my son said to me a number of times that he didn’t want to make trouble for this guy and he “would like to give him a chance”. It is hard to not just accept people as “different” and even harder to tell someone your fears esp for boys.
I am very glad that he came home that day to pick up some stuff he left behind. I can usually tell when he isn’t his usual happy self.
We have a very good relationship and it has certainly paid off throughout the years.
This last weekend his younger brother was going to a friend’s house and had that same worried look. I asked what was wrong and he told me he was afraid there was going to be drinking and he didn’t want to miss out on the fun but didn’t want to be in a bad situation (sophomore in HS). I am very blessed to have boys who confide in their mom.</p>
<p>Since most 15 year old boys aren’t ‘afraid’ of drinking, you can be sure that your younger son probably knew the ‘party’ would be too dark for him. Smart boy.</p>
<p>Keymom, sounds like so far things are being handled correctly - especially the hall director coming in with an excuse and being able to confiscate the knife, and your son having already set the excuse for moving to another dorm.</p>
<p>What a nightmare - my worst fears. Thank heavens your son followed his gut and got out. Now I fear for the rest of the dorm floor, and maybe the campus. Hopefully after the Va Tech tragedy these types of incidents are being handled differently.</p>
<p>Is the roommate still in the room? It’s not your responsibility, but is the RA aware of the situation to monitor it and report to the school? Have the other students on the floor been warned?</p>