yes–the lack of cohesiveness was something i remember not liking the first time i toured. i kind of applied as more of a “why not” thing than a “this is a school i’d really like to go to” thing, and am now seeing the consequences of that play out lol
my folks and i had a long talk a few days ago and i think they are trying to be more supportive of my interest in exploring other options. i will probably try to drive up during a halfday or weekend and walk around mt holyoke and smith (can’t tomorrow because of ap homework over break ) as well as check out whatever i can in driving distance. i need to keep going through my spreadsheet as well–was feeling overwhelmed and it took a back burner for a bit.
the extracurricular phenomenon is not something i’m super familiar with and does make me a little nervous. i’m friendly with some folks in the MA department of ed so feel like i could leverage a lot of those connections for summer internships if i ended up going to another school. the career connections is definitely something i’m keeping in mind, especially if i decided to go to law school or something like that. i think part of it is so many people telling me that i’d be stupid not to take the opportunity to go to harvard makes me really not want to go to harvard, haha.
i guess when i saw brown i was like WOW, i’d love to go here. and washu was like “i think i’d like it here,” but it wasn’t the same strength of conviction i guess. (do not get me started on vandy. they made me get my PCP to fill out all the medication stuff (what it is, what it was used for, what the dosage was, etc) despite the fact that she’s a) really busy and b) doesn’t actually prescribe any of my four primary medications. also made my mom sign stuff when i’m 18 and she doesn’t actually do any of my medical stuff anymore (i checked for a 18 year old or parent/guardian option and there was no option for legal adult). then they kept sending me emails saying that something was wrong with my forms but not saying what specifically (mass-sent, formulaic emails). surprise surprise, my PCP messed something up, and it was too late to get it fixed (they sent a me a lot of scary-sounding emails but there were no actual consequences for that once i explained the situation). had to check in specifically with someone at registration and they had to lay eyes on all my medication before i was allowed to go with my stuff. not sure what they would have done if it didn’t match up (there’s no way they legally can confiscate that, right?) but i kept thinking “if you thought i was gonna show up and deal drugs or something, why did you admit me?”)
i really like the other ervin kids (we all have a groupchat) but i didn’t really get to meet a lot of other ed majors at vanderbilt–we all got pulled into a thing for CV scholars when we’d normally have the major info session. i think part of the reason i got nervous about HOD was that everyone seemed to have it–we all had different colored lanyards based on the school, and all the peabody kids seemed to have HOD, at least at MOSAIC and within the CV scholars. it felt like there weren’t nearly as many kids within the ed major as i was expecting given that it’s such a strong program for there. i might see who i can connect with on zeemee or social media, though.
head to head, i think vanderbilt falls off and maybe harvard does too? the idea of turning down harvard makes me antsy, but i don’t know if that’s a good reason to attend a school. the other schools i don’t think i know about to do a head to head based off more than vibes. i haven’t officially turned down anything and likely won’t until closer to may 1 as i’m someone who likes to have the concept of options open, even if they aren’t likely options at that point. there’s something about firmly shutting that door, i guess? the “indecisive” part of this post heading is definitely coming through.
The name is not a reason to attend a school. Some people do turn down Harvard. You’re not sacrificing anything by being one of them - you’re just finding your place and your people. And if they’re not at Harvard, that’s okay. It takes a lot of maturity to have that perspective, actually.
You can’t make a “wrong” decision in the sense that you will do well at any of these great schools. For what it’s worth, hundreds of students turn down Harvard every year. You would not be unique.
You might find it interesting that a prominent respondent to the Proust Questionnaire associated his choice of Harvard with his “greatest regret”:
As a personal opinion, however, I believe you should strongly consider Harvard. You simply do not seem sufficiently excited about any one of your alternative choices.
To the extent that it matters, I should say that I wasn’t fully current on your topic when I posted a few days ago. To categorize somewhat, it seems that you will be choosing from among schools that would be particularly well-suited to your career goals, such as Northwestern and Vanderbilt, as well as from among schools at which the undergraduate experience generally might suit you better, such as Wesleyan University, Vassar and Kenyon. Smith College, perhaps, might cross these groupings. Then you have funding considerations and parental preferences. You also have expressed many personal impressions from your visits, as well as disappointment that you have not visited all schools of potential interest.
More generally, I’d say that conflicting aspects such as those you are encountering are not uncommon in choosing a college. In this sense, you are fairly typical. Your decision may only seem more challenging than that of most students because of your abundance of choices. Nonetheless, I suggest you view this abundance as a decidedly good thing.
Btw, I see that I suggested three schools for you back in August of 2022: Wesleyan University, Vassar and Kenyon. You may have had an interest in these colleges prior to my suggestions. Regardless, it’s nice to see that you applied to them.
wesleyan is the one my dad keeps using as an example and upenn is the one that sparked the whole argument. i plan on sitting down with him today and showing him my spreadsheet with the COA for each school and seeing what he wouldn’t pay for. i got the impression that if i could make an argument for something about the academic experience at some of them (e.g. open curriculum + LAC small classes at vassar) he would be open to negotiation, though, so i’m going to try to prep beforehand with reasons for each school that “differentiates” them (he feels that harvard is a tier above/worth paying more for but the rest are basically interchangeable, which is probably true in terms of prestige, but neglects to consider other factors). one of the things he was looking for for me was to go somewhere that’s a different environment/community to get out of the “bubble” of our rich suburban MA town. so he felt chicago (northwestern), for example, would be different enough to be worth potentially paying for, but philadelphia (upenn/haverford) wouldn’t necessarily be. he wasn’t thrilled when he found out i applied to women’s colleges for a similar reason so i’m not sure i’d be able to convince him on wellesley.
i don’t think my mom cares about the money but i think she is hoping for me to go somewhere with a “brand name” if i don’t take the scholarships. for her, from what i understand, that’s harvard, maybe upenn, northwestern, and i think wellesley. she’s been more open to non-harvard schools lately which is good haha.
Sounds like your parents prefer Harvard. Would your father be open to taking a quick trip to Philadelphia for comparison? Isn’t Wellesley also located in a rich suburban MA town? He may veto it for that reason alone. So many kids would love to have the options you have. Hugs.
Yeah, I would just chime in to say, I went to Penn for grad school and it’s far from being my favorite campus in the world - but I still like it better than Harvard’s.
my dad prefers washu actually–he’s the lone anti-harvard voice. he just also doesn’t think upenn would be enough of a boost for grad school admissions/job placement compared to harvard to justify full pay (which he isn’t particularly excited about doing for harvard anyway). we were planning to go to philly this weekend but there’s some sort of game or something so all the hotels are booked, plane tickets are expensive, and the drive would be crazy long.
i’m not sure i could sell him on wellesley, but i think i could maybe actually get my mom to back me up, which would potentially make a difference. it’s also one of the three schools (harvard, northwestern, wellesley) that my grandmother recognizes (as she went to a comparable all-girls university in korea) and would be happy about. this isn’t a huge factor, but it would be a plus.
two of my teachers (one who went to harvard and one who went to dartmouth) who wrote my letters of rec both encouraged me to check out upenn specifically–both have college-aged kids–and they know me well so it’s definitely more on my radar!
yes, or potentially something with higher ed? the siren song of no parents, no standardized testing, and getting to teach about a very specific set of interests is appealing to me, but it would probably mean not going into policy. still undecided in that respect.
i honestly have no real idea which specific schools, not because i didn’t ask many follow-up questions, because i did, but because my dad got defensive + started kind of talking around the question instead of answering. when i say “my parents” aren’t necessarily willing to pay, i mostly mean him.
First of all, UPenn would give you every bit of the boost for graduate school admissions that Harvard would (noting that the most important thing for grad school admissions is how you do in college, more than where you go). Every school you’re considering would offer the same kind of name recognition and advantage, assuming you do well in college.
This comment makes me think that wherever you choose to go, you should start with a fully open mind, not with a specific career direction. You are batting around possibilities, which is great - it’s what you are supposed to do! But at this point, you don’t know what’s really involved with the career paths you are considering. And that’s fine! Study widely, and explore possible areas of interest early on. If you decide you want to teach secondary school, you can get certified later. If you want to go into policy, you’d probably benefit from a graduate degree, anyway. Look into internships. Make contact with the career center on whatever campus you choose. Seek out mentoring so you can learn more.
But for the moment, focusing on choosing the right college, not the specific career path, because all of the colleges you’re considering will get you where you want to go.
) as well as check out whatever i can in driving distance. i need to keep going through my spreadsheet as well–was feeling overwhelmed and it took a back burner for a bit.
