To me, for kids from New Jersey, the most important ranking is that Rutgers is the #1 public college in New Jersey.
Obviously the “flagship” schools in different states vary, although that is a double-edged sword. Doesn’t do you much good if you are in a state with, say, one of the “top 5” publics if you cannot actually get admitted in-state to that public.
But in any event, looks like Rutgers is tied for #19 on the US News public list, and 6 of the 18 above are in California, 2 in Virginia, 2 in Georgia. Not that this is gospel, but taken at face value, that implies only something like 11 states have a “better” flagship than NJ. So that’s not at all bad.
And actually–I am sympathetic to families of limited means who tell their kids if they can get into a good in-state flagship, they will only pay an equivalent amount or less for an OOS or private.
What I think is less understandable is a variation of the rule here, which I have seen before, which is basically that same in-state cost sets the budget rule–except if it is an Ivy. To me that is just way overestimating the importance of those particular colleges, and generally putting unnecessary stress on such kids. But to me there is nothing wrong with having a budget, as long as you are open-minded about how that kid chooses to use that budget.