You need to figure out what your budget is. I do understand that this can be very difficult to do in some cases. It is at least somewhat difficult to do in most cases.
Loans are risky. They will significantly constrain what you can do after you graduate from university. As one example, my older daughter got a great job right after graduating university that was a great fit for her and that she loved. It also was a very good step towards getting the experience to get her where she is in fact right now (studying in a DVM program). However, the pay was lousy. The only reason that she could afford to take that first job was because she had no debt.
Hopefully at the time that you graduate high school you will be in-state somewhere. Hopefully it will be a state that has a university as good as Rutgers.
If in fact you will be able to become in-state in California, then you can ignore what I said earlier about being full pay at the various universities of California. California has many great in-state public universities and I do see them on your list. You have some other very good public universities on your list that might again become more affordable if you were in-state for them.
One thing that worries me a bit is that a very complicated family situation can make the NPCs less accurate. Other people here on CC will be far more knowledgeable than I about the impact of complicated family situations on financial aid (my situation is relatively simple).