Sorry, if this sounds like I’m putting words in your mouth, but it does sound as if you are equating self-esteem with getting accepted into an Ivy - any Ivy. This is what leads to drive-by applications via the Common app; this is what leads to generations of bad feelings on the part of so-called “tiger parents” who are convinced the system is stacked against Asian and Asian American applicants. I think the jury is out as to who is doing more damage to their morale.