@cappex – hang in there! I understand about CAL not being your thing. In answer to a few of your questions, when my child was looking at schools with really open curricula–Pomona and Brown were uncovered, but they are uber competitive as you know.
Regarding the athletic coaches for XC, you should do a some research first. First, focus on Div III schools (slower times) then look for their meet results. You can see how your times fared with the teams. Especially check out Championship times. If you could have placed in the first three or so spots for the team, you might be a great fit. So, make a little Excel spreadsheet with the team/championship times/league/regular times, etc. If your times would fit for the team, next put together an athletic resume. This is a one pager with your pic, best time(s) athletic awards, scholastic stats, etc, your name, address and phone number. After you get it together, you can email to the coaches with a personal letter and attach the resume. Then follow-up with the coaches via an email or call (can you call from Europe?). NESCAC coaches, for instance, have some pull on recruiting. If they are seriously interested, they can have Admissions do a pre-read on your file. Please feel free to reach out with any more questions. You are on the right track (bad pun). Keep up the good work. Your hard work will reap rewards and character.