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<p>One time in HS some us went to see the uncut Hamlet at a local college…it was so long that instead of an intermission there was a dinner break. Maybe you could find something like that.</p>
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And ask a kid to go with her as YOUR holiday gift.</p>
<p>If you’re going to use the dogs as an LD, you’ll need documentation.</p>
<p>Do you have a vet bill?</p>
<p>Yes, something long. I use to take my mom to a movie after eating at Thanksgiving or Christmas. I didn’t have to talk to her for 2 hours and enjoyed every minute. (My MIL, who I really, really liked, passed away 20 years ago.)</p>
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<p>My grandmother always used to say that fish and guests go bad after three days. When I was a child, I always hated that she never stayed for longer than three days. As an adult, I understand her thinking. 
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<p>My in-laws never stayed for that long even when they were still healthy enough to visit, and my MIL’s health has been too fragile to travel for several years now so no visits here anymore. I kind of miss those visits, to tell you the truth, and I never thought I’d say that. </p>
<p>I think a week and a half is a long time for ANYone to visit and I’m not sure how well I’d do with my own parents for that long! I do, however, really try to enjoy each and every visit with them now, and make every effort to get all of the kids to be here when they visit, because, honestly, even as healthy as they are, you just never know how many more visits there will be.</p>
<p>Oh, and my dogs don’t stay off the couch for anyone! :)</p>
<p>p.s. Garland, I love your legacy post!</p>
<p>I don’t believe you’ve mentioned any Positions of Leadership. Are your leadership skills strong enough to give her a job to do (making 12 dozen cookies, knitting an afghan, putting together a 1000 piece puzzle?) and to make her work on it every day through completion?</p>
<p>Missypie has a great point there. Leadership. Totally necessary.</p>
<p>Have you considered any areas for which you could make her responsible? Would she wrap gifts? Address holiday card envelopes? Do some shopping by herself?</p>
<p>ROFL, you are too funny.</p>
<p>Those overnight visits to mother-in-law university (MIL- U) can be problematic since they are unpredictable and you never know what you are going to encounter. Unfortunately, MIL-U is not that close to you geographically and logistics are such that it’s the only option for a visit. A week and a half course of study is on the long side relative to other MIL-U calendars, so you might want to consider studying “abroad” for part of that time, persuing your own interests, without feeling the need to spend all your time “on campus.” In that respect, your ECs are a little weak on independent and self-directed projects - and those can certainly show leadership. You might consider beefing up on those.</p>
<p>As far as the low grade in Keeping One’s Mouth Shut 101, I strongly suggest going to H’s office hours to discuss strategies for how you might raise this grade. Any chance he could give you some support or provide resources there? He might even be willing to discuss things with the rep at MIL-U on your behalf well before this issue arises. </p>
<p>The F in Dogs on Furniture is unfortunate, but perhaps if MIL-U sees an upward trend or that you are making an effort on her behalf, its impact on your chances can be minimized. In my home it is the H who has an F in this subject, and I eventually ended up just dropping the course. However, we are ordering some new furniture soon, so I am definitely going to reenroll. But would a bath or a throw blanket underneath said dog help mitigate in your case ? I completely disagree with your district’s grading policy, however. Mother of the grandchildren should be a core subject as compared to Dogs on Furniture. Perhaps this subject is weighted more than it seems to appear. </p>
<p>I agree that the other factors (letters of recommendation, hooks, legacy) can be important, but what it will really come down to is fit. If you ask yourself what MIL-U is looking for and remind MIL-U of what you have to contribute, I predict that this could be a solid match! </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>There’s a radio psychologist that airs here, Dr Joy Brown who always recommends “stupid and cheerful!”<br>
Re: the dog hair, can you toss a throw over their favorite couch so all anyone has to do is pick it up and voila! the seating surface underneath is hairfree!</p>
<p>As an aside, I always wonder what people who plan to visit someone for a week and a half *think *they are going to do all that time. </p>
<p>My friend is a divorced empty nester who has an adorable but small house filled with antiques. Her mom, sisters and their little kids wanted to visit for two weeks in the middle of the Texas summer. My friend had to work most of the time. It was way too hot for the mom to be out most days. The house was definitely not child proofed for the little kids and not really child proof-able. Since she’s an empty nester who has never had kids in her post-divorce house, no video games or toys or anything like that. She finally talked them into only one week.</p>
<p>I’d call it a reach, but you never know with some of these MILs; depends on the mood at the time. Work on that 2.1 as in my experience this is the biggest consideration. I envy your A in grandchild production - while I produced 3 solid youngsters myself, they only get me a B- at best. No one trumps DH, her golden child, and I mean NO ONE! DH is now like an only since his sister “withdrew” many years ago, never to return.</p>
<p>Good strategy on the late addition ECs. When aspiring to MIL acceptance I think it’s always best to have a stockpile of talents and support. I know I always stockpile a lot of cheap white wine (her favorite) and offer to take her to various malls. I’ll smuggly give myself a 4.0 in keeping my mouth shut; my own mother rarely let me get a word in edgewise so I know no other way.</p>
<p>Do you have an in state “safety” to go to just in case?</p>
<p>How are your research/library skills? </p>
<p>Early in the recent visit, FIL found a copy of Andy Rooney’s book about his WWII experiences on my shelves and spent almost every waking hour reading it. </p>
<p>As a pre-visit research project, find out what your MIL likes to read…romance novels, history, religious fiction, tabloids…then place the lastest and greatest around the house. If it’s meant to be a match, she will pick up the bait and stay blissfully quiet for hours on end.</p>
<p>A more up to date alternative is to expose her to the most addictive computer game you can find. I know that my own mother can spend hours palying Ma Jong (sp?) on the computer and my MIL goes for one of the versions of solitaire. Extra points if you have a laptop you can show her how to use…Maybe the kids can show her how to work google earth and she can look up all her old haunts online.</p>
<p>Another computer project: find the old relatives in the Ellis Island or US census web sites. Maybe if the kid could be plants to ask questions, she’d develop an interest.</p>
<p>As for that F in keeping the dogs off the couch, I think you should just go with the throw over the couch thing. I mean putting a throw on the couch not actually throwing the couch (esp. with MIL sitting on it). We all have our weaker subjects, mine was physics and yours is dogs on couch. Just don’t plan on being a dog training major and you will be fine. Remind MIL how well you are doing as a child raising major.</p>
<p>Love the “field trip” idea and yes your TA should conduct it.</p>
<p>As for community service perhaps you could volunteer to spend some time at a local day spa.</p>
<p>Picking up on the community service idea, maybe you could actually do some. I know the tendency is to clear the calendar when company comes, but if you do regular volunteer work, it would do you a lot of good to keep the commitment (and get yourself out of the house for a while!!!) Gosh, maybe you could volunteer to pick up everyone else’s shift that week for Meals on Wheels…How could MIL criticize you for being gone when it’s for a worthy cause?</p>
<p>Since my MIL had thoroughly spoiled her three sons by doing everything for them, the first few times she visited, I had her sort his socks…after that she decided it was OK if they were all thrown in a drawer for him to sort himself as he needed them.</p>
<p>The only meals on wheels at MIL-U are to be delivered to H, apparently.</p>
<p>To be fair, this is a regional MIL from the south and I am a regional northern admit. </p>
<p>As for leadership skills, I was thinking about an oral history project which I did for my safety…very cool outcome for kids about what it was like for own mother growing up…</p>
<p>Also, thank you for the advice about throwing my mother in law over the couch. I’m afraid it might cause the dogs to chase her. But I’ll give it a try. ;)</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>Well, you know what they say about desperate times calling for desperate measures…</p>
<p>As the (previously hated because now she needs us) JEWISH DIL I can say…you’ll make it. We too have goldens who snuggle on people’s laps. Solution? I put my MIL in a chair. When she questioned the behavior of our beloved dogs…just said we had a choice: well behaved children or dogs…We chose children. Things to do: take her on errands. (reasoning: she’ll see how busy you are). Let her do things that she likes to do…cook, clean (yeah, my MIL followed the housekeeper complaining what a poor job she does…just gave the housekeeper a bonus for the days that she was here)</p>
<p>My personal favorite? My MIL (FIL died last year. He was the major anti semite) eating brisket at our seder. Why did she come? Because she was lonely and wanted to have dinner out. She sat politely during the service…even when her son led the service.</p>
<p>Movies are always a good solution: two hours of silence followed by 45 minutes to dissect the “art” of the film. (Oh, and make sure that she has popcorn and candy…against doctor’s orders…because that will keep her quiet before the movie). And in my case I smuggle in the candy because the concession stand is a “conspiracy of Jewish theater owners to make more money.” She likes the “free” candy and the soda I bring in…</p>
<p>And when she stayed with us for four days…My favorite part? She argued with me on the proper making of matzoh balls. (Her request not my laying down the gauntlet). She went out to lunch and waited for me to pick up the check (which I would have done anyway) and then told the waitress that lunch was too expensive.</p>
<p>I have learned how not to be a MIL. Just do everything the opposite way the inlaws did it.</p>
<p>My father-in-law is coming to visit this year and I’m looking forward to it about as much as everyone else in this thread is looking forward to visits from their own in-laws. I don’t know how long he is planning to stay. What difference would it make if I did know? He never leaves when he says he will anyway, none of my in-laws do. Like everyone else in the family he talks all the time. I used to think that I’d let him go for awhile and eventually he’s run out of gas. No, like the energizer bunny he just keeps on going and going and going, one topic leads right into the next. I used to make an effort to be polite and listen, not anymore, I just walk out of the room. If he has noticed he hasn’t said anything.</p>
<p>Ellebud, I believe you have earned the Lifetime Achievement in In Law Tolerance award.</p>