"Dear UCAS,
I am an American in my first year at a top 10-15 U.S. university applying for admission to Oxford’s PPE program for the fall of 2016, in order to maximize my Wall Street recruitment chances and earning potential. I have a stellar record, except for a 1 on the AP calculus BC exam a long time ago that I took before I had taken calculus, so I have had that score deleted from my CollegeBoard transcript. It no longer exists. I would like written assurance that you will not request me to submit that no-longer-existent score, as that would pose an ethical and metaphysical quandary, and I am not applying in Philosophy.
Sincerely,
Anonymous226"