I suggest you read the Double Degree Dilemma essay in the Read me thread on the music major forum; the essay covers different ways to study music using hypothetical individuals.
For some of your schools, are you interested in a double degree, or a double major? Double degrees are generally 5 years. A double major of music and chemistry is tough to work out, due to conflicts between music commitments and labs (among other reasons).
For BM programs, have you submitted prescreens? For BA schools, are you submitting a music supplement (recording, resume, letters of recommendation if accepted)?
If you ended up at Yale, you might study with a grad student at the School of Music for lessons. IT is not a performance degree, as others have said, and music classes would be about 1/4 of your total classes if you were to major in music.
One option you have, given your goals, is to major in something else (chemistry? whatever you want…) and do music lessons and extracurricular performance (often for credit).
You can also major in music and get into a health care career, as long as your prerequisites are covered, either during college or in a post-bacc prgram (which costs!).
I think you will do fine. Make sure you don’t have loans if you can help it. A school with great financial aid would seem to be a good way to go.
You could add Wiliams or Vassar or other LAC’s that interest you. Tufts is another one: I don’t think they have loans anymore but not sure how the financial aid picture is there. Great music dept. there as well as double degree with NEC. The Colleges that Change Lives website might be helpful. Obelrin has a Musical Studies BA that might interest you and it is very supportive of double degrees, as are Bard and Lawrence.
It seems, from what you have written, that you could have a satisfying musical life at school and for life without majoring in music, unless that is what you want. You can continue lessons and performance regardless.