Chance Me (for top schools, oof)

Prep School Admissions Prep School Chances
21

Listen to @Calliemomofgirls ! Her advice is spot on!

As another mom here, can I make a suggestion? If you are in the habit of comparing yourself to others and then feeling like you didn’t measure up, you may be very unhappy at those schools. You need to ask yourself how you will feel if you are in the bottom half of the class (because half the students will be.)

There are schools that offer a superb education and environment but which may be better suited to build you up - they may have a wider range of students and be a bit more deliberate in making sure everyone gets a place to shine…

At the very least, add a couple of those to your list. There are amazing kids at every BS – you don’t need to worry that you will be a stand-out high-achiever.

22

@gardenstategal Could you list some of those schools that are better suited to build you up? I think it might be helpful for a lot of us to look into.

23

Well, you know that I am a fan of the Quaker schools. It is in their DNA to see each student as an individual with unique gifts and to want them to recognize those and figure out who they want to be in the world. In other words, not to compare themselves with others or conform to some ideal but to find their own paths. Westtown and George School are two of these.

Mercersburg is another that is very welcoming, and they really see their community as family. It’s hard to do that if part of the family is “less”

I have seen very different kinds of kids coming out of NMH feeling great about their experience.

My sense is that many of the girls schools embody the idea that women should lift each other up. I don’t have a daughter so haven’t gotten to look at these as closely. Some are clique_ier than others, but I get the sense that they are more genuinely interested in helping emerge “whole”.

You need to think about what will allow you to be the best version of yourself. That is one of the great “gifts” of applying to BS. You can actually think about what kind of experience you want/need to thrive. My kid was turned off by schools that fostered community by dorm v dorm competition (even though he loved competing for his school and eventually college). When I was his age, I would have loved that. On all of this, there is no right answer for everyone- just for you!

1 Like
24

@ameridad For piano, I’m not quite at the level of playing concertos, but I’m on the level of sonatas and nocturnes by classical composers. My focus on music is much more on the level of beginner-intermediate for cello, as it was not my main insturment. I have not been to international music camps, I didn’t even know they existed until now.

@Calliemomofgirls I’ve been trying to think about positivity over the past day, and I’m trying to find a way for a positive outlook in the future <3 I will take a look at your history (lol that sounds stalker-y) and try to find myself some advice there, thank you! Also, what does “make clear” mean? (Sorry)

@gardenstategal I know that if I get in, I probably won’t be the top of the top, I’ve had that thought in my head for a while, but even knowing that I got in and that I am worthy of a school like these will boost my confidence a lot lol. I’ll try to find some of the schools you’re talking about and add them to my list, maybe :slight_smile:

not directed to anyone: Also, regarding All-girl schools, Is it very different from a co-ed school? I’m not sure if I would enjoy myself at a school with only one gender, and honestly I just find it easier to make friends with boys because they’re more accepting and don’t get mad and start drama at random little stuff all the time. If I’m not sure if it’s something for me, should I still apply to some?

25

Hello @pearlescentrose, as you are from NJ, please give some thought to taking a look at some well regarded schools close to you such as Peddie, Blair, Mercersburg, Hill, George and St. Andrew’s (DE). Best of luck!

26

@Mumof3Boyz I actually want to get out of state, which is why I’m not really applying to a lot of nearby schools (Lville is my only nearby school lol) also I’m looking into Peddie but I’m not sure yet, I’ll definitely look into the other schools as well!

27

SCHOOL STUFF

[QUOTE=pearlescentrose;d-2196424]

Math Olympians Club for 4 Years
Stock Market Event for 2 Years

[/quote=“pearlescentrose;d-2196424”]

**Are you still doing both of these?

MUSIC

[QUOTE=pearlescentrose;d-2196424]

Played piano for 8 (to be 9) years:

  • 5 awards:
  • 5 state awards
  • 1 national award
  • Currently going into an international contest and aiming for top (practice a lot good luck to me lol)
  • ABRSM Level 5 Pianist
  • ABRSM Level 5 Music Theorist(?)
    Played cello for 4.5 (to be 5) years
  • Solo performance at School concert
  • First chair for 2 years in School Orchestra
  • Small Group/Chamber Ensemble Cellist, performance at local Church

[/quote=“pearlescentrose;d-2196424”]

**Music stuff all good and relevant - are you planning to continue this in BS?

ART PORTFOLIO

[QUOTE=pearlescentrose;d-2196424]

  • Anime Art
  • Pencil Sketches
  • Acrylic Paintings
  • Renders & Photoshop
  • Digital art
  • Currently working on a mural in my house (bamboo, river, and mountains)

[/quote=“pearlescentrose;d-2196424”]

**Ok, you do art. You will send them a portfolio, you don’t need as many pieces as you think you do. If you have 5 great pencil sketches (which you say is your best art) send those along with two or three examples picked out of everything else. Those 2-3 pieces should be your favorites of the rest of your art - so 8 pieces TOTAL. A mural in your house is absolutely not volunteering, don’t try to stretch that. It is enough for it to be art.

VOLUNTEERING

[QUOTE=pearlescentrose;d-2196424]

  • Taught children art at an International School over the summer (12 weeks)
  • Tutor for children in China, taught English (~60ish hours a year)

[/quote=“pearlescentrose;d-2196424”]

**Are these things that you did recently, or still doing?

Do you see how these things condensed make a better, more clear picture of you? If you organizer and group you are presenting your best self.

[QUOTE=pearlescentrose;d-2196424]

Essays - I’m working on, also should I make them more eccentric (and like me, who plays video games and finds education in Minecraft) or more organized and formal?
Interview - I plan on focusing on the fact that I’m going to these schools not to spit out information to a test, but to learn from others (not just teachers) and improve myself (personality, doing more for the community, stopping procrastination, etc.) as well as opportunities in these schools I won’t have at home, and how a school is unique. I’m not sure how I’m going to tie in how I’ll fit in though…

Interests (Not Yet Explored): Fashion Design, Architecture, Game Design & Web Dev, YouTube (It’s my dream and my passion but I’m not sure how helpful it is to the application process, I want to start a history channel, like Oversimplified or something)
Interests (Explored a bit): Computer Science (Python, Java, C++, I made some simple games in python and I’m currently working on Minecraft Server Plugins, but haven’t started anything on C++), Animation (I make 2d animations and I’m currently working on making advertisements for a small company), World History & Culture
Interests(Explored): Piano, Cello, Art

[/quote=“pearlescentrose;d-2196424”]

*Whatever interests you want to highlight should be highlighted in your essays. What I see above under interests is spaghetti on the wall - you have enough stuff that you have *actually done that you can talk about in essays and then if you want to explore one “new” or “wish” interest in an essay go ahead. As long as you can do it well.

Things you have never done but are interested in are for asking about in an interview, those don’t go on your resume. The only exception could be that one thing that the BS offers that you are so passionate about exploring that you can talk about in an essay and show the BS how you would help make that thing at their school better with your interest and passion.

28

@one1ofeach

SCHOOL STUFF:
I’m not doing stock market anymore, but I am continuing Math Olympiads. I am still invested in the stock market and try to predict what would be a good time to buy/sell stocks. So, I probably shouldn’t add that.

MUSIC:
I’m planning to continue piano in BS, but I’m not very sure about cello. If I can get into an orchestra I will definitely continue cello.

ART:
Okay, thanks for the advice. I’ll cherry pick some of my best pieces :slight_smile: Also, I’m not saying that the mural is volunteering, just the tutoring art for children, sorry if that wasn’t very clear.

VOLUNTEERING:
Due to COVID situation, I’m not able to teach in China and most of my “students” I haven’t really kept in touch. I am planning to teach English and Art again next summer, if possible. (These are summer events) I kinda want something like volunteering though, so I’m not sure if I should get rid of that.

ESSAYS & THINGS I’M INTERESTED IN:
Alright, I’ll keep that in mind for the essays, thank you. I’ll do some more research on the different ways I can incorporate unexplored interests into my essays and ask some questions about them in the interview.

OVERALL:
Thank you so much for taking your time to help me! I really appreciate it and will take everything into heavy consideration <3

29

@pearlescentrose – It sounds like you may be finding your answer to how you would feel as a little fish in a big pond. That’s great! Imho, one of the best parts of applying to BS is that you get a chance to think deeply and deliberately about what you want your high school experience to be. What is soul-crushing for one person is energizing for another. What matters is that you think about what is best for you.

30

@gardenstategal yes! One thing from the BS application is that I’ve had time to think about who I am and who I want to be. <3

31

1000% what @gardenstategal said! And @pearlescentrose your reply makes my heart so very happy! YES. By the time you finish the application process, you will know yourself so much more deeply, and you will also have the gift of owning the best parts about you and knowing how to share that with others.

32

Sorry - late to the mom-party here. I don’t usually read the chance me threads, But this isn’t a chance me thread at all!

I agree with everyone. You are awesome, and any school would be lucky to have you. Yet you are applying to big name schools that are fiercely competitive. Students often apply to these schools and get shut out - not because they aren’t worthy, but because of the odds. And because they haven’t done the work to convince the school that YOU know it is a fit.

I can’t tell from your post why you like the ones you listed, or your reasons for choosing them. You will write better essays if you do the hard work of figuring out what makes each school on your list uniquely right for you.

Conventional wisdom is apply to at least 8 schools. Some say 15 (!) or more if you need financial aid. Every year there are stories here of deserving kids not getting into the schools on their lists. The gentle suggestions above for you to expand your list are because it pains us parents when kids we like don’t get in anywhere. Not saying that will happen to you, but applying to more schools that you have thoroughly researched for fit will help your odds tremendously.

I wouldn’t worry about not being sporty. You have music and art. You seem like a nice, decent, thoughtful, authentic person- which goes a long way with AOs.

I am a fan of the smaller, nurturing style of schools, many of which have been listed above. I don’t know which schools are especially art-friendly. I can sense from your other thread that co-ed might be a fit for you, but don’t discount the all-girl schools. Have fun figuring it out!

33

@CateCAParent Thank you! The thing is, I’m currently managing a (decently?) rigorous middle school taking all honors classes, as well as preparing for the SSAT, writing essays, getting recommendations, and preparing an international piano contest. I’m already getting overwhelmed by the 4 schools I’m applying to, but I am looking into some other schools and will probably choose some schools from recommended lists. I don’t know anything about any art-friendly schools, as most seem to favor sports over the arts.

I’m trying to look into smaller schools and single-sex schools, but I (still and stubbornly) think I will prefer bigger schools to smaller ones and co-ed over single sex. Also, my (not the best) mindset is “if you can’t get into the best, why even go at all” (because to me, going to BS isn’t the most important thing and personally I would be fine with staying at my local public high school if I don’t make it in, even though I do want to) so I’m really just staring at the GLADCHEMMS right now :sweat_smile:

I’ve looked into the types of students at each school and I’m sure that I am not applying for just the name, as much as applying for the opportunities, academics, community, experience, etc, but I feel that a lot of AO’s would think that would be a stereotypical lie that students tell to get in, even if I’m not really there for the name, so I’m not sure how I’ll handle it. I am kind of iffy on Lawrenceville though, because I know a lot of students in my area are applying to Lawrenceville as a day student and they don’t seem to have a strong STEM program or appreciate the arts very much.

Sorry if that was a mess to read :sweat_smile:

Overall, thank you for all the support, I will take everyone’s advice into consideration : )

34

Ok, I get it, and I don’t want to stress you out more. Great if you are applying for fit. If bigger schools are it for you, awesome.

But just know that plenty of wiser folks than me here cringe at the notion that GLADCHEMS have the corner on “best”. There is no such thing. Popular does not equal best, nor does large endowment, nor does great marketing, nor does reputation. Back 3 years ago we started with a short list like yours - most people do. That’s the problem. It is a rookie mistake, IMO, imbuing these gladchems schools with some superiority.

Kiddo applied to some of those big name schools, and a few others. He got into the others on his list, not those remaining from the original list. In retrospect, those big name schools were not the fit we thought they were at the beginning and it was the correct decision for the schools not to accept him. And his lack of fit isn’t a question of his academic prowess. Kid’s got game. It was a culture thing.

At the end of the day, applying to only four fiercely competitive schools is a risky “go big or go home” approach. If you know that going in, ok. But I promise you it is worth your time to research and apply to 2-4 more. Just the soul searching it brings is valuable.

BSs aren’t “lesser-than” schools if they are in the top 50-ish. I just haven’t gotten the sense from you that you know what distinguishes one of your listed schools from another. I fear that will come across in your application.

I have heard that Lawrenceville is great at STEM, for example.

For the arts, look at the handbooks to see what the course requirements are. Different schools have them as more serious courses and some more as ECs.

Milton and Deerfield come to mind as having amazing STEM and art facilities- and are on the larger side. And Choate, too. One thing to consider- if you go for the bs that is super competitive on things like music, you may not get the chance to play your instrument as much. All of these schools kick butt at STEM enough to meet your needs. Unless you are already 3 grades ahead in math. Compare and contrast the course catalogs if you haven’t already. You’ll see.

Do yourself a favor and talk to @mondaydevil about this.

35

@pearlescentrose You are getting some great advice here. The “go big or go home” approach is fine, I suppose, as long as you TRULY are prepared to stay home. And that you STAY prepared to go home through the rest of the year.

Here is the risk – Imagine this possible scenario: as you go through the process, spending months on the application components, you will start to imagine yourself at boarding school. And then you will slowly start to realize that while you love the 4 schools, there are probably 30 more that would offer you the same amount of joy and opportunities. And then, what if on M10, you have no options, so you say to yourself, OK it’s “stay home” time. BUT suddenly you are faced with the reality that you actually wanted this far more than you were willing to admit. And now you, wise you, six months into this process, after reading and learning and hearing more – you now realize that your dreams could have totally been fulfilled by a number of schools. and that even if you wanted to stay in the “top 20” (or whatever), you easily could have done that and been headed to revisits to choose from among a few acceptances.

Except it will be March 11th.

And now the only thing you can do is 1. scramble to find a school who will take a late application (they exist! and there are great options this way! but not likely the top 20, just so you know.) or 2. Hope for a waitlist miracle – Keep checking your emails and junkmail and phone messages and asking everyone about waitlist movement and re-reading @PhotographerMom great posts on waitlists that go up every March.

The marginal work for additional applications now is relatively low. And, if you want to add some SAO school options – you could get a bunch of applications done with one set of essays (you would have to interview, but that seems pretty workable.).

I hope you don’t have an M10 as described above. But if that rings even a tiny bit true, I would really consider widening the net now while you still can pretty easily.

36

@CateCAParent and @Calliemomofgirls Honestly, I haven’t thought much about my approach so far. I really should widen my net, and I’ll try. I don’t know how I’ll work around the interviews, but if I can do an interview once a week, I think I might be able to manage 6~8 schools. (I was thinking about Peddie, Loomis, and Deerfield, but they are all quite competitive/selective schools so I should probably also widen my net down.)

I’m definitely looking into SAO schools as well, because I know they are easier to do and I can get a lot done quickly. Any recommendations?

Thank you so much for the advice and support so far, I’m definitely reconsidering my list.

37

Hi! Just to give input based on my experiences: I was in a pretty similar situation to you regarding schools last year. I applied to seven (PEA, PA, Choate, CA, St. Marks, Groton, and St. Paul’s) with high (or average for BS standards) stats. I was told to apply to more schools in the late fall and since I was stubborn and my mom didn’t want to drive me to more interviews, I kept it at these seven. Actually, I added CA and SMS thinking they would be safeties (they are NOT safeties) because their acceptance rates were in the 30s. Fun fact, there are no safeties in boarding schools!! (If only I had listened to CC moms more carefully…)
On M10, I got waitlisted and rejected by all of them. You never really know with BS admissions.

Here’s how I’m widening my net this year:

  1. Go through tons of old CC threads to create a masterlist of some schools that are talked about that interest you. For me, I just looked at a few Hidden Gem threads, looked at the schools people had recommended me last year and wrote them all down.
  1. Figure out what you must have in a school. For me, it was that there were at least three computer science offerings of some sort (if they just had AP CSP and AP CSA, I knew they likely didn't have a strong computer science program), Latin to at least level three, and within 3.5 hours of my hometown. Those are my two favorite subjects and I know I wouldn't have been able to survive without them. The last one's just a requirement from my mom so my parents can drive to the school.

Personally, the other stuff like co-ed vs. all-girls or big vs. small weren’t entirely dealbreakers but if they are for you, you might want to add those as requirements.

Also, I accidentally fell in love with some schools that dont have CS or Latin but are within 3.5 hours of home and I kept the schools on my list (for now) so know these aren’t steadfast requirements.

  1. Go through all of your schools' websites and quickly skim the course catalog, by numbers page or something like that to make sure your requirements are met. If you have softer requirements like tight-knit community or athletic-based, you might want to do a quick CC search to see what the people think.
  2. At this point, I had a little less than 20 schools (I originally had 30). Now figure out what kinds of things you'd like to know about the schools. I used this stage to start looking at why I might want to go to this school. Generally, all schools mentioned on this board will have stellar academics so you don't really need to go into that, but if they have unique course styles or an interesting program, you might want to note that. I usually use the website, CC, and I recently saw that Miss Porters had bad Glassdoor reviews so I've been looking at some of those too. Also Instagram pages. Especially the blackat, lgbtat, pocat, lifeat, etc. accounts really give good insight into what the bad sides of schools are like. The websites usually have virtual tours and video clips you can watch as well. And the schools might have Instagram takeovers you can watch.

For this stage I note things in the following categories:

  • Academics
  • Community
  • Offerings/Programs
  • Misc.
  • Cons

I gave myself a rule that I have to look at each category before removing it since I might miss something I like, but generally if I don’t find anything interesting, I’ll just remove it from the list.

I finish it off by giving it a general rating out of ten then moving on.

I’m still on this stage, but here are some things I’m thinking about doing next.

  1. Assuming that I don't have less than 10 schools I want to apply to, I'll probably look at the essay prompts on Gateway to see which ones I wouldn't want to write and take those off. Or if they have some weird admissions requirement that I don't want to go through with. If I really want to go to the school, I'd be willing to fill out a new medical form section on Gateway for them and more. Some other ways I'd eliminate schools:
  2. Negative reviews on websites
  3. Asking questions to current students or recent alumni through CC or an admissions event
  4. Using the initial scores out of ten

Or just apply to all of them… There can’t be that many, right?

You could also ask more questions at the interview then remove schools then.

Okay so maybe I’m doing too much but to be honest I genuinely enjoy this process hehe. I’m probably going to write a rough draft of all of the essays then finalize the list to make sure I can actually write essays for all of the schools and stuff.

Woohoo its currently 2 AM and this took me 20 minutes to write on my phone. If anything doesn’t make sense let me know. Also this is just how I’m doing it so if you don’t want to, you don’t have to!

Have a good day (:

38

It’s not so much that schools favor sports over arts, it’s more that sports lead to direct competition between schools. It is also a much clearer path since a kid who plays, say soccer, at a certain level is clearly going to fit into the team and contribute immediately. With an artist it is much harder to present a clear picture of what you are going to “do for the school.” Winning art competitions is totally subjective and just not as high profile. So athletes get an in because their contribution is more concrete. Once you are on campus you will find that art students are very supported, there are multiple cases of art and music teachers driving students to competitions and shows far away at our school.

I understand the feeling that “the best” schools are known as the best for a reason. However, those reasons are so nebulous and lacking direct impact on your actual education that it’s a poor reason to pick a school. My kids both go to “top ten” schools - they have had more bad teachers than I did at a no name, totally not top anything, small private school. I promise you my education was excellent - I went to a “top” college and breezed through. I was incredibly well prepared despite coming from a “4th tier” school. It is a combination of luck and your own input that makes your education truly outstanding.

39

Schools also like top athletes because they have an edge in college admissions (which some people look at to judge the quality of a school. )

40

@mondaydevil I truly have enjoyed learning about you via your determination and resilience! I’m very excited for you and really hope for the best for you come M10. You’ve certainly taken the experience you had last time around to heart! I do though want to point out a few things you just said that are quasi red-flaggish to me.

" I’ll probably look at the essay prompts on Gateway to see which ones I wouldn’t want to write and take those off."
I suppose if something in a prompt is truly triggering, or bizarre, or somehow reveals the school to be inherently evil, then…ok? But deciding not to apply to a school because of an essay prompt strikes me as something that would ultimately wind up in the “silly reasons I didn’t apply to a school” thread. Maybe that’s just me!

“Or if they have some weird admissions requirement that I don’t want to go through with.”
This isn’t fraternity hazing…not sure what this could be! Fun/funny to think about I suppose :slight_smile:

"Some other ways I’d eliminate schools:

  • Negative reviews on websites"
    I’d be very, very, very, leery about putting too much weight into online reviews. On any site. Maybe I’m too cynical but people very often have an axe to grind. Now, reading reviews that are consistent about a certain point that is not necessarily inherently positive or negative, e.g. high pressure academics, heavy focus on sports, whatever…that could be valuable information. When it comes to negative reviews, at the very least it’s safe to say that we don’t have all the information. So, user beware :slight_smile: