I promise that I’m not trying to pick on you :), but I have to disagree on the budget issue. As someone supporting a family of 5 on an income slightly higher than OP’s family, I can tell you that it’s very difficult to envision carving out 20k for a new annual expense, much less significantly larger amounts. Our budget for D22 is 30k/yr, but that’s only because of prior savings and additional funds that we borrowed against home equity with interest rates historically low. If I had to suddenly budget in an extra 25k or 30k strictly from income, we would need to sell our house and move to a much lower-cost area (likely a far distant exurb).
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