Chaos at Christmas?

Parent Cafe
21

<p>The past week has been stressful. A scholarship offered to D, then possibly revoked due to it apparently having been offered “in error”. An eternal wait for her clearance for her internship, starting to wonder if it would come through in time. And horrible weather, both here and where D has been flying from for the past two days.</p>

<p>Then… today, most of the issues were resolved. Scholarship restored, clearance arrived, and she is apparently on track to arrive home tonight. :smiley: All is good now.</p>

22

<p>With my daughter in London uncertain about getting back to the US before the 25th, I’m happy to have four Christmas dinners as long as we have our girl home.</p>

23

<p>^…what Nrdsb4 said…
except I’ll be happy to have a Christmas snack, since D is supposed to arrive at 11:23pm on the 25th…if that flight doesn’t get canceled too.</p>

24

<p>Emaheevul, what types of foods are you looking for (desserts, specific types or flavors, etc)? I might be able to offer some ideas.</p>

25

<p>lilmom, I’ll echo what Nick mentioned. My 83 year old grandfather–mom’s dad–needed an emergency quadruple bypass on Saturday. The nearest good hospital happened to be my college town. Mom and fam were stressed about it, so I let them stay at my apartment (<1mi from the hospital) and hung out with them while they were in town (which meant I got home 3 days later than expected, oh well). Even though it was a little scary, it ended up well (he’ll go home at the end of the week), and I’m pretty sure my mom was glad to have me around to help out. I think it also helped that we had some great news come about right before his surgery (I got into medical school!!) so that kept my family’s spirits up. Anyway, today she wanted to go back to visit him, so I took care of lots of cooking and chores and Christmas cards and you name it. It was a lot of work, but as a young adult kid I’m more than happy to help, and actually like doing it. And it means a lot to me that I can help my mom too.</p>

<p>Let your kiddos help you! They’ll feel great and you won’t be so stressed and anxious. Win-win.</p>

26

<p>eireann: I like fairly basic foods-- reheating well is a bonus so we could prepare it ahead of time, primarily concerned about dinner, and at this point would be pleased by anything but italian-- I have been living off of nothing but spaghetti and mostaccioli for months. As it stands my mother has given up and I am to discretely excuse myself at dinner to make frozen chicken tenders in a toaster oven in my bedroom and rejoin the party after I’ve eaten. No fun being banished for an allergy. :(</p>

<p>I discovered that pillsbury slice and bake cookies are dairy free and I have a good choco chip cookie recipe so I think I am okay for dessert, still working on an hors d’oeuvre, but I could just eat chips or something if I had a good dinner to look forward to.</p>

27

<p>Not chaos in the sense of some others, but I have my mother for the holidays and she is having something go on with her. She has turned vicious like a rabid dog. Stirring up trouble, hurting feelings. It’s going to be a very fun Christmas in my house. Not.</p>

28

<p>Kristin, what a lovely story. I bet you’ll make a fine doctor – congratulations on getting into med school.</p>

29

<p>Only child working overseas and can’t come home. First year in 23 years with nobody but H and me for Christmas. Really didn’t know how much I missed him until the Christmas season started. Few of our Christmas traditions seem worth the effort. But we are carrying on with our game faces on. Thank goodness for Skype.</p>

30

<p>^^preironic, I have an “only” too and I fear the day that she might not be with us during the holidays…(((hugs))) to you!</p>

<p>We are having an “off” Christmas this year too because MIL is in the hospital so we will have to have our Christmas with H’s side of the family in the hospital on New Year’s Day. H, D and I are traveling to my parent’s house (12 hour drive) tomorrow which we are looking forward to…just not going to be the same with H’s side…</p>

31

<p>H, 2 other kids and I are eagerly hoping for a Santa heave-ho since the Turkey drop didn’t occur. It’s going to take longer than that though and all we can do is watch and wait. She’s 20, has a baby from another man, quit her job, has a major entitlement attitude, and moved in with S in a house he is renting from us. She wants to know when the new kitchen is getting installed and she is getting a dishwasher :)</p>

<p>He’s going to school, working 50 hrs a week, and she complains he doesn’t take out the trash? I had a toddler and a newborn and worked full-time with a long commute. I truly can’t figure out what she does with her time. Obviously not take out the trash, or replace the outlet covers when I painted 6 weeks ago, etc. I’m trying to bite my tongue, but I was never really good at that.</p>

<p>Other than that, I am good to go with everything else Christmas! Can’t wait to see other relatives. My sister is coming home for 3 days, but she’ll be at my mom’s and that’s her problem!</p>

32

<p>I’m probably going to be the buzzkill, but I’m probably going to win for “Most Chaotic Christmas”. Monday morning I got a call from my brother on my office phone, and the first thing he said was, “What do you know so far?” (Never a good sign.) They’d found our mom unconscious and unresponsive on the floor of her apartment, her blood pressure was 60 systolic over couldn’t-get-a-reading diastolic… No blood circulating, really. Ambulance to the ER, put her on a ventilator and took her to the ICU. Kidney levels were crap, liver levels were crap, acetaminophen levels were astronomically high. She has a history of narcotics abuse, so the current working theory is that she’s likely been pilfering another resident’s Vicodin or Percocet (both contain a good kick of acetaminophen) and just spiked her level high enough that it set off acute liver failure. Now it’s just a waiting game. They’ve stabilized her and we have to see whether or not her liver kicks back in (she’s still comatose and on a ventilator). If her liver does kick back in, she’ll be okay. If it doesn’t, she’ll die in a few days. She’s not a candidate for transplant.</p>

<p>This puts us in a bit of a jam. Her sisters are in the same city as she is, and they’re with her now, but my brother and I aren’t in the same city. My brother’s plans were to fly back today, and he’s sticking to his original plan, but my husband’s and my plans were to spend Christmas with his family this year, since we spent Thanksgiving with my family this year. </p>

<p>My mom has done stuff like this in the past-- creating personal trauma to redirect everyone’s attention-- but this is the first time that there’s a very significant likelihood that she’ll die as a result of her actions. The way we understand acute liver failure from reading up on it and talking to her doctors, she’ll either be just dandy in three weeks, or she’s going to die in a few days. If she regains consciousness and sees that her stunt has worked and my brother and I cancel our Christmas plans to rush to her bedside, then if she doesn’t die this time, she’s GOING to end up killing herself one of these days. Our swooping to her rescue in the past has only fueled this fire we’re in now.</p>

<p>It’s likely that if she regains consciousness at all, she’ll be okay–and then, to go to her would severely endanger her in the future, and it would dampen our leverage to get her into treatment for her addiction this time. If she’s going to die, she’ll likely do so without ever regaining meaningful consciousness-- no possibility for a meaningful goodbye. I’m just scared out of my wits at the slight possibility that she’s going to regain consciousness, see that we’re not there, and then die before we can determine whether or not she’s going to recover. This is a game of chicken that I do NOT want to be playing. Not three days before Christmas. Not ever, really, but… not Christmas.</p>

<p>Everybody’s getting raisins for Christmas. It’s all I have the energy for.</p>

33

<p>Oh, aibarr, I’m so sorry for the situation you and your family are facing. Big hugs to you.</p>

34

<p>Alibarr, I wish you peace. You are in a very difficult situation with no reasonable resolution…I am so sorry.</p>

35

<p>I’m so sorry about your situation, aibarr. Whatever you decide, it won’t be easy, I’m sure. Wishing the very best for you, your mother and your entire family.</p>

36

<p>Thank you, all, for putting my sore-throat-before-cross-country-trip and my daughter’s two-applications-to-do-in-less-than-two-days in perspective.</p>

<p>My heart goes out to all of you in truly difficult situations.</p>

37

<p>So sorry for your situation, Aibarr. Raisins for Christmas would be more than anyone would get at my house in the same situation.
You are in a no-win situation but you have to choose what is best for you and your well being.
I wish you peace and send you hugs.</p>