@privatebanker USNA is on the list, he is going to one of their summer seminars in June to verify that it is the right type of fit for him. I just didn’t list it here because (a) the odds of an appointment are so low and (b) it really removes the whole financial conundrum altogether. 
Thanks to everyone else for the kind responses. DS isn’t locked into Nuclear, it was just a great opportunity to explore that interest and spend a few weeks at NC State. He definitely can see himself there, and it’s a top choice. However, he has also stated that if he got into MIT or GT that he would choose them over State. He is also interested in chemical and aerospace engineering, so there is a pretty wide range of programs he can include in the selection.
We are fortunate to be able to pay more than state, but have chosen to ‘draw a line in the sand’. DH did ROTC, and his grad school payed him to attend so he came out with a doctorate and money in the bank. I took the other path…small LACs racking up a lot of student loans. We agreed to a midway point for any kids we had. We will pay 100% in-state costs. If he manages to require less than that, we will put the surplus into savings for him, if he goes over then he needs to find merit.
You are in a very good place, the sweet spot in putting together that college list. You
Know what you, as s family, want to pay and have communicated this to your son. He has a great school that meets cost and academic requirements, that he likes that will most certainly accept him and will let him know early in the process.
The rest is pure gravy, or the dessert. IF he gets the ROTC scholarship, and if he also gets accepted into a school he prefers over NCS, he’s good to go. With his stats, there are schools like GT that do have scholarships that he might also get that can bring the cost down to acceptable level.
If he gets into a school that he really prefers, MIT or GT, without the scholarships, it becomes a matter of family discussion and decision as to whether to stick to the original financial plan. Since the financial stipulations were made clear from the onset, it will be far less traumatic than suddenly pulling the college acceptance rug out from under your son.
This is one way, that families can emulated as it is very much an ideal path.
@chaphillmom. When our DS19 went through the college search, we were in very similar situation, except the ROTC part. Our DS19 was also an average excellent student who had the same ACT score of 35 (one sitting), UW GPA of 3.95, rigors courses with numerous APs, NMF, 2 EC activities that were meaningful and time consuming, etc. He knew he wanted to major in CE/E engineering so he applied to several public U and private U’s with reputable engineering colleges/departments. We were also almost full pay and didn’t expect any need aid so chased merits to see how things faired. DS19 is our first child so we had limited knowledge about the whole college process.
He was accepted to the following schools with annual merit awards:
UIUC (our flagship) - $3k, UMich - $0, U Texas-Austin - $0, Purdue - $12k, Iowa State ($18.5k), Northwestern - $0 (small $ for need), USC $26k, Case Western $20k, Northeastern $20k, Miami (OH) $35.5k, Lehigh $50k.
He was denied at MIT and Mudd and waitlisted at Rice.
He visited about half the schools, but did not visit Texas, Purdue, Iowa, Miami and Lehigh before applying. We also read on CC about the importance of ABET engineering schools but felt there were a lot of mixed messages on CC about why well known selective schools were better for first jobs, connections, etc. I advocated for UIUC or Northwestern, but DS19 ultimately chose Lehigh for 2 reasons: full tuition merit for 5 years and IBE program which takes only 50 students annually. He has done very well academically the last two years and does not regret his decision.
I don’t know if you’ve looked into it, but his stats make him competitive for the honors college at Rutgers New Brunswick. Its not guaranteed, but they give out a reasonable amount of full ride and significant tuition scholarships to the honors college. Its definitely a good engineering school with research opportunities. It certainly doesn’t hurt to add it to your list to look into. Don’t miss the scholarship/honors college admissions application date.
@chaphillmom NCSU with the extra engineering fees is 9,000-9,500 a year all in. It really makes no sense to apply to other similarly ranked OOS schools unless they are giving HUGE merit Aid. The “rankings” are not that different. Particularly if your kid was interested in nuclear engineering or the other 17 that NCSU has that most engineering schools don’t have. For example, Duke only has 5 undergrad engineering majors, NCSU has 18. You will be paying for score reports for all these schools plus application fees, plus your kid possibly writing individual essays for each.
Seems like a good plan. I would make some efforts to search out cohort based merit scholarship programs similar to the NC State Park scholarships. We’ve been very impressed with the efforts made by colleges with many of those programs.
I agree with @anon145 about “not applying to OOS schools unless they are giving HUGE merit aid.” Since we were newbies to this process, we didn’t know better. With DD19, she only applied to one public U, our flagship.
Correction, it was DS17, not DS19, as mentioned in my previous post.
With ROTC possibilities and NCS in the bag, all issues on the table, no reason not to find it a go at other schools. Up to the young man.
I have a Bama grad (34 ACT; NMF) who did very well with co-OP, freshman research and was employed within 6 months of graduation in his dream field of Aerospace.
I also have a 3 yr AROTC scholarship winner, Engineering major at an OOS public university.
I can tell you, my ROTC son struggled academically and with time management.
If your son is serious about serving, limit the schools to those with ROTC on campus. The time commitment for ROTC and Engineering is great. You don’t want to add a commute onto it.
I strongly suggest adding some schools in which his stats are in the top 25%. GPA is a large part of ROTC, so a school further down the academic ladder is a choice you want him to have.
Thanks @Longhaul , I hadn’t actually considered that. His ROTC choices at the moment are all the top schools where he wouldn’t likely get merit. I hadn’t considered the difficulty of grades plus ROTC activities at those places. Definitely something for DS to ponder.
It depends upon how onerous the commute would be from the campuses. I know a young man who completed his engineering reps at Pitt and NROTC was at CMU. No big deal. But the thought of going from say, Fordham to SUNY Maritime all those mornings makes me cringe. But the kids do it. I would chew on that bone when it lands at my feet. A lot of things have to happen before dealing with those possibilities
So- this is an old thread that I started, but the college application strategy has evolved a bit for my son over the last month. When I started the thread he was quite gung-ho for ROTC or a service academy. However, in the intervening months he has researched things and is now not so sure that the military is the right path for him. I’ve told him that I would much rather he realize that now, than 5 years from now while in his first year of service. So- I wouldn’t say it leaves us in a bind in any way, just one of those bittersweet feelings for all of us. He had done a significant amount of work for the ROTC applications, as well as the tippy top school applications (SAT subject tests; essays etc.). I’m still sticking by my position that we won’t pay 75k a year for college, so that leaves us with option #1 (NCSU), and option #3 (OOS merit). He has been accepted to 3 OOS programs with fantastic merit aid, and intriguing honors college and language programs. He will submit his NCSU application in the next couple of weeks. If he does change his mind and decide that the military is, in fact, a better choice, there will be other opportunities in the future.
I’m not actually sure why I wrote this post!! I guess I’m feeling a bit unsettled by this; proud of him for making a decision that is hurting his pride a bit, but feels like the right decision for him; and nervous that he will look back in 4 years time and wish he had pursued one of the top schools even if it meant going into some debt.
I love that you came back with an update 
and I think I understand that piece of watching your fledgling working through his thinking, proud of him for how he are doing with it and worrying about second-guessing him. Best to dump that anxiety here!
Given that his likely outcomes are all very strong, credible schools, imo that is really, really unlikely- especially if you move that timeline out to 4.5 years- say the January after he graduates from college. He will almost certainly be employed by then, and his friends who have college debt will have started making their loan payments. He will be hearing a LOT from them about how much those loan payments are hitting their paychecks (on top of all the tax & SS deductions, rent, transport, etc). Decent bet that he will be happy that he does not have that bill to pay, and won’t be wishing the diploma (that is now on his bedroom wall at your house- not his apartment) said “Flashy Name” instead of “State U”.
…not to mention that the powers that be are sometimes puckish enough that he may even have somebody from FlashyName U working beside him, on the same starting salary 
Yes – thanks for the update!
What are the three OOS options with merit and what’s the cost differential between them and State?
We are also NC residents with S21 looking at engineering. He’s intrigued by OOS public flagships (like Wisconsin, VT) even though it’s hard to justify paying 2X the price just b/c he wants to get away. Sigh.
While my S has 4.0 right now he’s got his head in the sand on testing, and I don’t think will be at the same level as your S so not sure he’ll be getting merit offers.
Please keep us updated on your S’s journey. I’m very interested!
Congrats on being accepted to programs already. Would you care to list them as inquiring minds would like to know… Lol… Also a basis of comparison when he gets accepted to NCS.
For what it’s worth NCS was on my son’s list 3 years ago when selecting engineering schools. It has really nice programs and one I never saw before, paper engineering or something like that… Lol…
Also not many kids pick Nuclear engineering in general. This could be a draw for him some schools looking for kids for their programs. But look at the schools and if he can easily transfer in /out to something else also. So many kids start at one discipline and don’t realize it’s another type of engineering that really excites him. Some engineering schools are not that easy to transfer out to another discipline.
So will going to a lower ranked school prohibit your son from becoming an engineer? No. Will he work side by side with kids from higher ranked schools? Depending on his job offers, Yes.
Does going to a higher ranked school have benefits… Sure… Are they worth “X” amount of dollar for possible little gain? That is the question.
https://www.usnews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-engineering-schools/nuclear-engineering-rankings
NCState is number 3 graduate in Nuclear… Hello! ?
I didn’t know this. I can’t find their undergraduate rank in nuclear but usually when the graduate school is so stellar and impressive the undergraduate follow suit plus what great resources to use.
So my opinion has changed. Hopefully he gets accepted instate. Have him become active on campus. My son is doing projects etc with graduate students at his school, so become involved. Your instate cheaper option already has a great name in nuclear so there is no advantage for paying more money going OOS.
@knowstuff I don’t mind sharing! So far he has been accepted for chemical engineering at Univ. Alabama and Ole Miss, and Nuclear engineering at Univ of New Mexico. He has been accepted into the honors college at UA, and is in the process of applying to the honor’s college at Ole Miss. Ole Miss also has a 5 year Chinese flagship language program that he is applying to that he would do alongside the chem engineering (he has been studying it since 6th grade). UNM has what seems to be a decent nuclear program with some solid research opportunities in the area. All three have very good merit scholarships. He isn’t locked in to nuclear, and is actually thinking about UA Huntsville for aerospace as well.
NC State is still a great contender (assuming he gets in). He likes the school, doesn’t seem to feel that he must get as far away from us as possible, and it has a highly ranked engineering program. I think that it will really come down to weighing the various pros and cons, and making a decision next spring.
I appreciate everyone’s kind comments. It’s definitely an amazing journey that I hadn’t anticipated!
Edited to add- assuming that he doesn’t receive merit at NC State (which seems quite limited), NC State would probably end up being more expensive than the other three for him. From what I can tell so far, it would be in the 5-10k less per year range. However, I haven’t got all the numbers at this point, so I could end up being off by a bit. Since we are willing to pay 100% of NC State, we would never push him to go to another program to save that, although we would use that cushion to help fund grad school if he is interested.
It’s only September 15 and you have 3 solid choices that are affordable. I wish other families would follow suit. How nice not to have really any pressure for senior year. Your family have done this the right way.
Congrats to your son. I look forward to find out what your decisions will be.
Your son is doing well in having great options already. He’s way ahead of the game.
I’d advise him to continue with the ROTC pursuit. Especially those programs that allow a year of a freebie to try it out with tuition paid I’m still a bit sore my kids dropped the ball in that option. They would have gotten first year tuition paid and could have withdrawn before having to make the commitment. NROTC permits that, or did. It’s normal to have up and down doubts. My marine cousin still does even now as an officer in the Corps. Until the very moment arrives, all bets are off as to whether or not he re-ups. I can’t believe my brother lasted 20 years in the Armed Forces. Also, he can turn down the scholarship, as a number of people do, if there are better options or he just decided he really doesn’t want to make that commitment at that time.
I think your S may well get merit $$ from NC State too. After he’s accepted they will likely invite him to apply to various honors and scholarship opportunities as one of their ‘top accepted students.’ This is what happened with my D after her EA acceptance two year ago. She was NMF, 4.0 student +rigor, NCSSM Online, very good but not world changing ECs. But slightly lower ACT than your kid.
Of course, my student was a woman in STEM (but not engineering) and I know engineering attracts the highest stat kids at NC State so more competition, so no guarantees. But still, I think they will roll out the red carpet for your S. Exciting!
And agree – kudos to your guys for playing this so smart!
@AlmostThere2018 Would you mind sharing how much merit your daughter was offered at NC State? My son is an URM with a 3.8 (UW GPA), 4.25 (W GPA), 35 (ACT), Math Honor Society. I was wondering if he might qualify for some sort of scholarship or tuition reduction IF he is accepted into the engineering program. Thanks!