Checking My Privilege: Character as the Basis of Privilege - a freshman perspective

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<p>I heard my daughter say them to her brother once. She is very attuned to issues of privilege as she works in education reform and inner city schools and has become quite immersed in issues of inequities as they affect education and the subtle biases that educators need to watch out for. He didn’t say anything offensive in any way; he made a thoughtful comment and she was suggesting he note how his own privilege influences the way he sees things. I was annoyed at the time but I do get how doing the kind of work she does has opened her eyes to these issues. </p>

<p>Wow busdriver, that’s a whole lot of assumptions based on appearances and race there. The young man you described could have been the young man we help at the church where I work. He is homeless because in his home country developmentally disabled people are considered to be possessed, so the minute his family was not required by law to care for him, he was thrown out. In case you’re not aware, homeless shelters close during the day so they have to go hang out somewhere.</p>

<p>This kid comes and stays at the church sometimes but if we’re closed and the library is closed, he just goes and hangs out somewhere. He stays in one place because walking around or riding the bus endlessly tags him as a potential victim to those who rob kids like him. He dresses the way he sees other kids his age dress-he is not a gangbanger.He does not sell drugs. He does have a father who simply doesn’t understand. He doesn’t look disabled and tries hard to stay clean and wear what clothes he has only when they are clean. You would not see him and realize he is disabled or homeless.</p>

<p>But in one afternoon you managed to assume all sorts of things of the kid you saw-standing, in popular youth-related clothes-gangbanger/drug dealer. Bound for jail. And you have to ask what white privilege is?There it is, folks, right there. </p>

<p>You also make a lot of assumptions, sseamom. The place he was standing was near a public road, and a parking lot. No large bags with him, large baggy dark clothing, and every now and then a group of guys would walk close to him. Not asking me for a thing (which is really unlikely for a homeless guy). He’s not sitting on the grass in the park nearby with his sleeping bag. Your young man is not the same person as the kid that I saw, you can’t possibly project that on someone you never even saw.</p>

<p>All guesses, of course, who really knows for sure. But ya really think gangs and drugs aren’t a problem with young men in LA? You think not having a dad around isn’t a problem for these kids? Someone who is thinking that it’s likely a young man in baggy clothing loitering for hours by a road with people stopping by every now and then is an example of white privilege? Come on, sseamom. I would have thought the same exact thing if he was white, Hispanic or Asian.</p>

<p>mimk6 wrote:

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<p>^I really like this. I am impressed with many of the responses by college students to the original essay. Thanks, Sally for the one you linked. I am impressed so many of our children are able to not see their own experience of the world as the “default” experience and the historical perspective they have on this issue, which I assume is due to the education we have provided them. : )</p>

<p>PG: Have you asked your kids what they think about the Princeton Kid essay? I would be interested to hear what they think, especially since they attend such different schools and, if I remember correctly, your daughter is at Wellesley where Peggy McIntosh of “Unpacking the Invisible Backpack” is employed. I’d ask my own but they are out in the work world doing those 25 hr a day jobs at the moment. No time to indulge Mom and explain the world to her.</p>

<p>What are all your college kids saying about this essay?</p>

<p>My daughter has heard “check your privilege” (not directed at her personally, but generally directed at white affluent girls on campus) and she pretty much rolls her eyes at it and gets on with her day. The implication being sent is that the affluent white girls have somehow all had lives of beds of roses, which is just so fundamentally untrue. All of us have crosses to bear in life, many of which are not visible to the outside world. Btw, both she and I think Wellesley’s political correctness is humorless and over the top at times. And I’m pretty darn liberal. </p>

<p>“My” young man gets to leave his sleeping bag at his shelter and has only one backpack. He doesn’t begfor money because he has food stamps. My point was…you don’t know. Your earlier post that poets heart questioned also made assumptions. It’s a dangerous thing to do. Sure some young black men are drug dealers. That’s quite different from the sweeping picture you painted in your earlier post. </p>

<p>@sseamom “My point was….you don’t know”</p>

<p>But don’t you see that the person uttering “check your privilege” doesn’t know either???
As you said, making assumptions is a “dangerous thing to do.” And that goes both ways.</p>

<p>Exactly. “I can assume this about you, but don’t you dare assume anything about me.” </p>

<p>“My point was…you don’t know. Your earlier post that poets heart questioned also made assumptions. It’s a dangerous thing to do. Sure some young black men are drug dealers. That’s quite different from the sweeping picture you painted in your earlier post.”</p>

<p>@sseamom, I try to limit my posts from describing every last detail, as they are usually too long already. But as usual, you assume my post shows my clueless racism and obvious white privilege, instead of merely describing an encounter of the day. I would have felt bad for, and made an assumption this kid was dealing drugs no matter what race he was, by his actions. Perhaps I was wrong, but it’s not like I was arresting him or even being impolite. Just feeling bad for him, as he did not seem very happy.</p>

<p>I find it unlikely (though not impossible) that a kid who was raised in a loving and supportive family, with two parents around caring for him, would be in this situation. </p>

<p>It CAN happen. At the church where I work I’ve seen it, more than once. And it gets REALLY sad when the parents are in their 80’s and the “kid” is 50 something, and their still doing the dance of figuring it all out. And it can work in reverse. I had the good fortune to speak with Antwone Fisher. If there was ever a person who would be the poster boy for going bad due to lack of parental influence, he would be it. But he credits that awful start in life with making something great of himself.</p>

<p>Here’s the funny thing though. This guy walking around at Princeton telling people to “check their privilege” could very well graduate and head off to the big city and make millions. He will have children and grandchildren who will most likely be “privileged” by his definition. So is he going to tell them “to check their privilege” when the time comes? Bet my last dollar the answer is no.</p>

<p>Something I’ve come to notice, more and more, is a tone of what I’ll call “petulant fatigue” from some people who reside within this country’s majority racial demographic, ie., white people. I can’t pretend to know with absolute certainty what causes this tone to arise. I can only piece together a composite picture based on the gist of what I’ve heard and read in the context of discussions over race, class, sex and privilege, and try to note consistently recurring themes. Here, in no certain order, are some of the impressions I get without fail:</p>

<p>1). A smoldering, sometimes barely contained anger with having to address these issues in the first place. I get the impression that much of it has to do with the feeling that, inherent in any such discussion, is the accusation that they themselves are actively engaged in some form of social oppression, or at the very least, are complicit in the same. They view themselves as basically good people who subscribe wholeheartedly to America’s egalitarian ideals. They believe they have been unfairly lumped into groups of racists, classists, sexists, etc., merely based on the fact that their skin happens to be white, they happen to be male, or happen to reside within the social upper-class. Feeling that their individuality has been summarily dismissed, they thereby feel disinclined to view any “ism” charge as truly legitimate.</p>

<p>2). They believe most people with whom they associate are like themselves, and therefore the reported prevalence of racism, sexism, classism, etc., is wildly exaggerated.</p>

<p>3). They believe since most people are like themselves, “the playing field has now been leveled”. Slavery was more than a century ago. Jim Crow is a relic of the age of black and white cinematography, vacuum tubes, transistor radios, and telephone land lines. In the wake of the 1964 Civil Rights Act, and the Brown vs. The Board of Education Supreme Court decision, all that the Constitution guarantees has now been afforded every citizen. Even the President of The United States is a black man. Doesn’t that say it all?</p>

<p>4). Because the playing field has now been leveled (or almost entirely so), the complainers and agitators need to take a good hard look in the mirror and stop playing the victim card. They need to stop having babies out of wedlock, take advantage of their educational opportunities, stop using/dealing drugs, and get a frickin’ job, for heaven’s sake! </p>

<p>5). The complainers and agitators have a political/social agenda that has nothing to do with real oppression, and everything to do with self-aggrandizement and pandering to the victim class.</p>

<p>6). Anecdotal accounts of racism can often be explained as incidents in which the purported “victim” has assumed racism where none actually existed, and in any case, incidences of real racism are isolated and infrequent.</p>

<p>7). Nowadays, “reverse racism” is more prevalent. White males are now the most oppressed demographic in America. Affirmative Action in both higher education, and hiring now places whites at a decided disadvantage compared to blacks and other minorities (save those poor, hardworking Asians, who are possibly getting even more shafted) They can give accounts of how whites have suffered racial discrimination at the hands of some other minority, and point out that you never hear about such things “in the media”.</p>

<p>8). They have it rough getting through life, too, and don’t feel particularly privileged over anyone else. Their mortgage is under-water, their teenaged daughter cuts herself, they have a two hour commute both ways, to and from work, and their elderly parents need assisted living care three states away. They are just trying their best to slog through life in this contemporary age, just like everybody else, and have no time for added guilt, thank you very much!</p>

<p>9). They are beyond tired of the whole discussion, wish people would just “move on”, and stop talking as if nothing has changed in America.</p>

<p>I’m sure I’m forgetting some things, but I think the above covers most of my impressions of petulant fatigue. It’s one of the reasons any discussion of “privilege” falls on deaf (fatigued) ears.</p>

<p>“It CAN happen. At the church where I work I’ve seen it, more than once. And it gets REALLY sad when the parents are in their 80’s and the “kid” is 50 something, and their still doing the dance of figuring it all out. And it can work in reverse. I had the good fortune to speak with Antwone Fisher. If there was ever a person who would be the poster boy for going bad due to lack of parental influence, he would be it. But he credits that awful start in life with making something great of himself.”</p>

<p>Of course it can happen. People with wonderful parents can end up with miserable lives, and people with terrible (or no) parents can end up wildly happy. But I can’t see any good argument against doing one’s best to stack the odds. </p>

<p>good</p>

<p>xpaperglaxiex: Good God, good grief, good post? Care to elucidate?</p>

<p>You know, poetsheart, in my opinion, I think you nailed it. You usually do, or maybe it’s that I usually just agree with you, so you make sense to me. Except I disagree with #7, I don’t think a majority of people actually feel like this overall, just a minority and perhaps only occasionally. I’m not sure about #6, there is no way to know that. Besides that, I think you have it spot on.</p>

<p>I disagree with #6 and #7, but otherwise - yeah, I do think there is some of that “petulant fatigue.” I think #1 is the biggie. I resent having to “bear the burden” of what bad white people do just because I’m white - just like good black people resent having to “bear the burden” of what bad black people, and so on and so forth. </p>

<p>I think you nailed it too, poetsheart. “Petulant fatigue” says it all.</p>

<p>Okay - let me get this straight and be sure I’m understanding correctly. Busdriver and PG, you are saying you agree with all those points except #6 & #7. That poetheart’s list is a fair representation how you feel? You, personally?</p>

<p><a href=“Eight Things Every White Person Should Know About White Privilege”>http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/05/07/white-privilege-at-princeton-never.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Most everyone is struggling today in a nation that is rigged to help the very few at the expense of the many. Rather than divisively fighting to deny racial bias, uniting in solidarity across race is the key to creating an America that works for all of us. </p>